Uber to riders: No sex, and leave your guns at home

By Patrick May,  The Mercury News

The inside of an Uber vehicle, that ”third place” that so many of us often find ourselves these days, should also be a safe place, a clean place, a happy place.

Or so says Uber, which this week issued a set of “Uber Community Guidelines”  to keep both riders and drivers on their best behavior.

As the San Francisco-based ride-sharing giant puts it in its press release, “We want Uber to be enjoyable and safe for everyone. These ground rules are designed to ensure that riders and drivers have a five star ride when using Uber.”

Let’s have a look, shall we?

For starters, Uber wants us all to know that sex during a ride is a big no-no. Even flirting is prohibited between the rider and their driver or fellow passengers. (So, yes, group sex is out.) And don’t even think about calling your driver after the ride on their personal cell number and trying to set up a date. In its guidelines, Uber stresses that it has a ”no sex rule” and, just to make sure all you sex-in-public aficionados get the memo, it repeats “no sex” over and over like some Victorian Age mantra.

And  while you’re sitting in the back seat not having sex with anyone else in the car, you should also not vomit.

To be specific, Uber’s guidelines ban “vomiting due to excessive alcohol consumption,” so you could read that to mean that a flu-induced mishap wouldn’t necessarily get you banned forever from an Uber vehicle. But do try and avoid it anyway.

“Most riders show drivers the respect they deserve,” the company said. “But some don’t â€" whether it’s leaving trash in the car, throwing up in the back seat after too much alcohol or asking a driver to break the speed limit so they can get to their appointment on time. This kind of poor behavior is not OK.”

In the interest of time, we’ve condensed for you some of the other things Uber would like you not to do while in their care:

• Don’t touch other passengers.

• Don’t touch the driver.

• Don’t keep the driver waiting.

• Don’t swear.

• Don’t slam the car door.

• Don’t spill your Starbucks Grande, Iced, Sugar-Free, Vanilla Latte with Soy Milk and then not clean it up.

• Don’t look at people suspiciously if they’re not like you.

• Don’t comment on other riders’ appearances.

• Don’t ask your fellow rider if he/she is single.

• Don’t raise your voice.

• And last but not least, don’t bring your firearm with you on an Uber ride.

Outside of that, have a nice ride.

"

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