How to Get Back to Having Sex After Pregnancy

PHOTO: NBC via Getty Images

My husband’s been totally focused on our baby since she was born six months ago. I love that he’s a great dad, but now that we have a parenting routine, I could use a little more loving myself. How can I get him to bring back the romance and sex?
â€"K.M., 28, Boston

“This is a super-common issueâ€"we hear about it a lot from women, but even for men it takes a while for sex to come back on the table after a baby. Talk with your husband about what you both need and are available for. Sex? Kissing? Cuddling? Nothing? Just go step-by-step. To go from nothing, where you probably have been for several months, all the way to sex can be overwhelming. Also, in my mind, a big date night with expectations to have sex at the end is a terrible idea; it just adds pressure. Do something relaxing that feels really authentic and good.”

â€"Lindsay Chrisler, a dating and relationship coach in New York City

“Men are simple. If you want sex, tell him. Not: ‘I’d like more sex in this relationship.’ Get in bed and shoot him a text that says, ‘Sex?’ If he declines, make him pick a new day and time. And maybe you need to redefine what constitutes sex and romance now that you have a kid. If you expect a carriage ride before you get busy, I can see why your husband might pass. But if you’re like most married couples, all you need is 15 minutes and a door that locks. Figure out what works for you, but figure it out together.”

â€"James Breakwell, a comedy writer and father of four

“The first step won’t be sex. It’ll be reconnecting as a couple. Think back to before the baby: What did you talk about and do? Make sure you’re having those adult ­convos and doing those activities. There are a lot of possibilities for why he’s acting differently. Seeing the vagina during delivery can be a little traumatic, or he may be fatigued from child care, or afraid of getting you pregnant again. These holdups tend to be temporary, so delve into how you’re both feeling, listen, and validateâ€"the physical stuff follows.”

â€"Katharine O’Connell White, M.D., an ob-gyn in Boston

“What a great problem to have! It’s all based in love, so try to look at this from a place of gratitude: So many fathers struggle to connect with their babies, but he doesn’t. In my experience the healthiest families are made up of couples who take care of each other and then take care of the children’s needs. But in the first year all bets are offâ€"it’s survival mode. I know that you’re feeling hurt and scared that things will never go back to normal, but trust me, he’ll come back. You have things the baby doesn’t!”

â€"Glennon Doyle Melton, author of Love Warrior

More from our partners:

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| Back | Having | After | Pregnancy | div> PHOTO: | Getty | Images< | p> < | div> My | husband’s | been | totally | focused | baby | since | born< | months | love | that | he’s | great | have | parenting | routine | could | little | more | loving | myself | bring | back | romance | â€"K | Boston< | em>< | span>< | p> “This | super | common | issue< | strong>â€"we | hear | about | from | women | even | takes | while | come | table | after | Talk | with | your | husband | what | both | need | available | Kissing | Cuddling | Nothing | Just | step | nothing | where | probably | several | overwhelming | Also | mind | date | night | expectations | terrible | idea; | just | adds | pressure | something | relaxing | feels | really | authentic | good | ”< | p> â€"Lindsay | Chrisler | dating | relationship | coach | York | City< | p> “Men | simple | want | tell | strong> | Not: | ‘I’d | like | this | shoot | text | says | ‘Sex | declines | make | pick | time | maybe | redefine | constitutes | expect | carriage | ride | before | busy | might | pass | you’re | most | married | couples | minutes | door | locks | Figure | works | figure | together | p> â€"James | Breakwell | comedy | writer | father | four< | p> “The | first | won’t | It’ll | reconnecting | couple | Think | baby: | What | talk | Make | sure | having | those | adult | ­convos | doing | activities | There | possibilities | acting | differently | Seeing | vagina | during | delivery | traumatic | fatigued | child | care | afraid | getting | pregnant | again | These | holdups | tend | temporary | delve | into | feeling | listen | validateâ€"the | physical | stuff | follows | p> â€"Katharine | O’Connell | White | p> “What | problem | have!< | It’s | based | look | place | gratitude: | many | fathers | struggle | connect | their | babies | doesn’t | experience | healthiest | families | made | take | each | other | then | children’s | needs | year | bets | offâ€"it’s | survival | mode | know | hurt | scared | things | will | never | normal | trust | he’ll | doesn’t!”< | p> â€"Glennon | Doyle | Melton | author | Love | Warrior< | p> More | partners:< | strong>< | p> < | div> |

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Announcing In Intimate Detail: How to Choose, Wear, and Love Lingerie!

How to Choose, Wear, and Love Lingerie!










Want to jump straight to pre-ordering? Click here! 



I tried to come up with some kind of catchy or witty introduction, but I can’t because I’m just too excited. I can finally share what I’ve been working on for the the last year – my debut book from Ten Speed Press, titled In Intimate Detail: How to Choose, Wear and Love Lingerie.
It’s hard to put into words how I feel right now. For most of the past year, my book has existed mostly as an idea, an outline, a manuscript. It’s been a dream. But now that there’s a cover, a release date, and people can place orders…it feels so real.
Writing a book is something I’ve had on my wishlist for awhile, but it always felt like one of those pie-in-the-sky type things. Other people are book authors. Not me. But I said yes when asked to write this book because I felt like I had something to say.
Many of you know my background. My first career was in nonprofits. For most of the last decade, I’ve lived on the West Coast. To a lot of industry people, I’m an outsider, an interloper. But instead of seeing that as a negative, I firmly believe it’s a positive. Being an outsider means you ask the questions other people take for granted. It means you explore and you inquire and you refuse to accept the status quo.





Over the last ten years of lingerie blogging, I’ve learned so much about intimate apparel, and this book shares what I know with you. Lingerie is a strange, confusing world. So much of the “information” out there is actually misinformation, rooted in myth and superstition. But fiction doesn’t help when it comes to making the right lingerie decisions for your taste, lifestyle, size, and budget.


In Intimate Detail pulls back the curtain, sharing the kind of insider knowledge many experts take for granted. It’s an honest, judgment-free guide you can turn to again and again – not just this year or next, but 5 or 10 years from now. I wanted In Intimate Detail to be a book you could feel comfortable giving to your mom or sister or cousin or aunt, to a friend who’s new to lingerie or recently transitioning, or to a spouse who’s recently entered menopause or been diagnosed with breast cancer.
After reading this book, you’ll not only know the language of lingerie – the terminology and definitions you need to help find the pieces you want – you’ll also know “hidden” information like the purpose of bra seams, the difference between a fabric and a fiber, and the qualities of different types of lingerie materials. And, of course, the book has size charts, sample wardrobes, and appendices for various fit concerns, such as lingerie for trans women, pregnant people, and those with disabilities.

More than anything, I want In Intimate Detail to feel like a warm, welcoming invitation into the world of lingerie. It’s the kind of book you can curl up with wrapped in your favorite blanket holding a cup of tea. It truly represents everything I wish I’d known when I started blogging, and it’s the best book I could possibly write. If you love lingerie or if you love The Lingerie Addict, then you’ll love In Intimate Detail.
One thing you’ll notice, especially if you view the preview images on this page, is that In Intimate Detail has no photography. Instead, the book is full of beautiful watercolor illustrations by Sandy Wirt. That’s intentional. I want you to imagine yourself in this pieces. To fully immerse yourself and be open to all your possibilities…even if they’re options you’ve not considered before. In Intimate Detail will help you build the lingerie wardrobe of your dreams. Because you deserve beautiful underthings. And you deserve to feel beautiful in your lingerie.








In Intimate Detail
will officially arrive in-stores on August 28, 2018, but you can pre-order and reserve your copy now. Pre-ordering not only ensures you get one of the very first copies, it also gets you a few special goodies we’re putting together just for pre-order readers.
It’s hard to put into words just how happy I am right now. I’m so happy with the book and the cover and the art. I’m happy with the foreword from the legendary Dita Von Teese. I’m happy you’re here to share this moment with me. And I’m happy about the book tour I’m planning for later this year where I’ll get to meet some of you.

You can pre-order In Intimate Detail from a wide range of booksellers including Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Books-a-Million, iBooks, Powell’s, Hudson Booksellers, IndieBound, and Penguin Random House. And please tell your friends! Share the cover, share sneak peeks, and let’s help everyone discover the power of beautiful lingerie.
One last thing! When you place your pre-order, email me a screenshot or forward a copy of your receipt to book@thelingerieaddict.com. I want to make sure you get on the list for the pre-order goodies the publisher and I are putting together (It’s going to be a really special exclusive, and it will only be available to pre-orders.).
I don’t talk a lot about myself and my feelings online, but this is simultaneously the most excited and the most scared I’ve ever been. But it also feels like the moment I’ve been waiting for ever since I started blogging. Lingerie is for everyone to enjoy. I firmly believe that. And if you believe it too, then In Intimate Detail is for you.



Thanks for reading our article Announcing In Intimate Detail: How to Choose, Wear, and Love Lingerie!. Please share it with pleasure.
Sincery Sex
SRC: http://www.thelingerieaddict.com/2018/02/lingerie-addict-book-in-intimate-detail.html

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