Showing posts sorted by relevance for query They’re. Sort by date Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query They’re. Sort by date Show all posts

Friday, December 9, 2016

They’ll only have sex with smart people

Are you the smartest person in the bedroom? If so, you may be sapiosexual, and wasting time by going after hotties who think string theory has something to do with choosing Oxford-style shoes over loafers. According to Vice, sapiosexuals are indulging in the hot fetish of the moment: viewing intelligence as the topmost turn-on.

The term, coined by a live-blogger who calls himself wolfieboy, just might make it into the next edition of Merriam-Webster Dictionary. Regardless, it already qualifies as a descriptor on OkCupid and inspired a Tinder-esque dating app for smart people, called, appropriately enough, Sapio. The fact that the big complaint about Sapio is a lack of participants maybe reflects the selectivity of those who embrace this sexual preference.

But with the growing desirability of Silicon Valley nerds, it seems that sapiosexuality is on the rise. “What were once fringe interests reserved for the stereotypically introverted, intellectual, ‘nerds’ of the world â€" comic books, characters, and comic-inspired films and TV shows, sci-fi and fantasy like the ‘Star Trek’ reboots and ‘Game of Thrones’ â€" are now essential features of 21st-century American culture,” Lora Adair, a professor of evolutionary psychology at Lyon College, told Vice. Her point being that the pursuit of classically geeky interests now comes with cachet.

For those who want to appeal to sapiosexuals, the website New Love Times offers a few tips that go beyond turning public libraries into pickup spots. It suggests that revealing some ignorance is an aphrodisiac for potential partners who enjoy showing their intelligence, flying your nerd-flag proudly can be alluring, and unconventional dating spots â€" adventurous ethnic food will trump a steak every time â€" may seal the deal. Also: Make sure you’re pronouncing words properly and using correct grammar.

While there has been some blowback â€" sapiosexual doubters describe it as pretentious, exclusionary and not even worthy of its own distinction â€" blogger Hazel Leese clearly prefers brains to brawn. “If a man uses a word I’ve never heard before, my attraction radar surges to Defcon 1,” she writes. “Likewise if he uses somewhat poetic, non-standard language, my brain enters orgasmatron mode. Long [and] complicated words, beautiful poetry, technical phrases that I don’t understand are all tantamount to talking dirty to me. In other words, I like big words and I cannot lie.”

Additionally, we presume, when giving brainy dudes her phone number, she doesn’t need to find pen and paper. They’re smart enough to commit 10 digits to memory.

"

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Uber to riders: No sex, and leave your guns at home

By Patrick May,  The Mercury News

The inside of an Uber vehicle, that ”third place” that so many of us often find ourselves these days, should also be a safe place, a clean place, a happy place.

Or so says Uber, which this week issued a set of “Uber Community Guidelines”  to keep both riders and drivers on their best behavior.

As the San Francisco-based ride-sharing giant puts it in its press release, “We want Uber to be enjoyable and safe for everyone. These ground rules are designed to ensure that riders and drivers have a five star ride when using Uber.”

Let’s have a look, shall we?

For starters, Uber wants us all to know that sex during a ride is a big no-no. Even flirting is prohibited between the rider and their driver or fellow passengers. (So, yes, group sex is out.) And don’t even think about calling your driver after the ride on their personal cell number and trying to set up a date. In its guidelines, Uber stresses that it has a ”no sex rule” and, just to make sure all you sex-in-public aficionados get the memo, it repeats “no sex” over and over like some Victorian Age mantra.

And  while you’re sitting in the back seat not having sex with anyone else in the car, you should also not vomit.

To be specific, Uber’s guidelines ban “vomiting due to excessive alcohol consumption,” so you could read that to mean that a flu-induced mishap wouldn’t necessarily get you banned forever from an Uber vehicle. But do try and avoid it anyway.

“Most riders show drivers the respect they deserve,” the company said. “But some don’t â€" whether it’s leaving trash in the car, throwing up in the back seat after too much alcohol or asking a driver to break the speed limit so they can get to their appointment on time. This kind of poor behavior is not OK.”

In the interest of time, we’ve condensed for you some of the other things Uber would like you not to do while in their care:

• Don’t touch other passengers.

• Don’t touch the driver.

• Don’t keep the driver waiting.

• Don’t swear.

• Don’t slam the car door.

• Don’t spill your Starbucks Grande, Iced, Sugar-Free, Vanilla Latte with Soy Milk and then not clean it up.

• Don’t look at people suspiciously if they’re not like you.

• Don’t comment on other riders’ appearances.

• Don’t ask your fellow rider if he/she is single.

• Don’t raise your voice.

• And last but not least, don’t bring your firearm with you on an Uber ride.

Outside of that, have a nice ride.

"

| Uber | riders: | sex, | leave | your | guns | home | Patrick | strong>  | Mercury | News< | em>< | p> The | inside | vehicle | that | ”third | place” | many | often | find | ourselves | these | days | should | also | safe | place | clean | happy | p> Or | says | which | this | week issued | “Uber | Community | Guidelines” |  to | keep | both | riders | drivers | their | best | behavior | p> As | Francisco | based | ride | sharing | giant | puts | press | release | “We | want | enjoyable | everyone | These | ground | rules | designed | ensure | have | five | star | when | using | ”< | p> Let’s | look | shall | p> For | starters | wants | know | during | Even | flirting | prohibited | between | rider | driver | fellow | passengers | group | don’t | even | think | about | calling | after | personal | cell | number | trying | date | guidelines | stresses | ”no | rule” | just | make | sure | public | aficionados | memo | repeats | “no | sex” | over | like | some | Victorian | mantra | p> And |  while | you’re | sitting | back | seat | having | with | anyone | else | vomit | p> To | specific | Uber’s | “vomiting | excessive | alcohol | consumption | could | read | mean | induced | mishap | wouldn’t | necessarily | banned | forever | from | avoid | anyway | p> “Most | show | respect | they | deserve | company | said | “But | whether | it’s | leaving | trash | throwing | much | asking | break | speed | limit | appointment | time | This | kind | poor | p> In | interest | we’ve | condensed | other | things | would | while | care:< | p> • | Don’t | touch | waiting | swear | slam | door | spill | Starbucks | Grande | Iced | Sugar | Free | Vanilla | Latte | Milk | then | people | suspiciously | they’re | comment | riders’ | appearances | single | raise | voice | last | least | bring | firearm | p> Outside | nice | p> |

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Thursday, December 8, 2016

Hundreds of police in England and Wales accused of sexual abuse | UK news

Hundreds of police officers are being accused of sexually abusing victims and suspects in what a senior police watchdog has called “the most serious corruption issue facing the service”.

Forces across England and Wales received 436 allegations of abuse of power for sexual gain against 306 police officers, 20 police community support officers and eight staff in the two years to March but inspectors believe the problem is even more prevalent than the numbers suggest.

Despite the large numbers, there is evidence that only 40 officers or staff have been dismissed for abusing authority for sexual gain in a similar period.

Vulnerable individuals, including domestic abuse victims, alcohol and drug addicts, sex workers and arrested suspects were among those targeted by officers and staff, Her Majesty’s Inspectorate of Constabulary (HMIC) said.

Victim groups have said the findings are “deeply concerning” and involved some of the most vulnerable people in society.

Mike Cunningham, inspector of constabulary and former chief constable of Staffordshire police, said: “This is the most serious corruption issue facing the service. What can be worse than a guardian abusing the trust and confidence of an abused person? There can be no greater violation of public trust.”

“It is probably more likely the problem is more serious than the numbers reported back to us,” he added.

“In many cases the victims are vulnerable people. They are victims of domestic abuse, they’re victims who might have been arrested and they have drug or alcohol dependency. It is an exploitation of power where the guardian becomes the abuser.”

One of the most high-profile cases of police officers abusing their power in recent history was that of Stephen Mitchell, who was jailed for life in 2011 for raping and sexually assaulting vulnerable women he had arrested.

Mitchell, who was a constable with Northumbria police, abused heroin addicts, shoplifters and a disabled teenager by offering them help while in custody, then demanding sexual favours afterwards.

Earlier this year, DS Robert Dawson, a Metropolitan police officer who had sex with a vulnerable alleged rape victim, was formally dismissed from the force. A tribunal heard that in 2010, while investigating an allegation of serious sexual assault, Dawson engaged in an inappropriate sexual relationship with the victim.

PC Simon Salway, who had sex with vulnerable witnesses and victims of crime, and fathered a child with one of the women he exploited, was found guilty of six charges of misconduct in a public office at Luton crown court last year.

HMIC found that more than a third (39%) of the allegations of abuse of authority for sexual gain involved victims of domestic abuse. As part of its research the inspectorate carried out an online survey of domestic abuse practitioners between July and August. Sixty-eight practitioners (16%) of the 414 who took part said victims of domestic abuse had disclosed that an officer or member of police staff had abused their authority to exploit them or develop an inappropriate relationship with them.

The chief executive of the domestic violence charity Refuge, Sandra Horley, said: “Widespread reports of police officers exploiting women for sexual gain … are horrific â€" but unsurprising.

“Refuge is glad HMIC’s report has shone a light on this issue, following a consultation with domestic violence practitioners including our frontline staff. The police are meant to protect the public from harm; how can women be expected to report their abuse, if they fear the police will abuse them all over again? Women have the right to safety and protection.

“Refuge commends the work HMIC has already done in improving the police response to domestic violence; we hope this report will mean an end to what is an appalling abuse of power.”

Mark Castle, chief executive of the independent charity Victim Support, said: “These allegations are deeply concerning. The victims involved are some of the most vulnerable people in our society, who have been exploited by the people they should be able to trust the most, the police.

“In order to maintain public confidence in the police it’s critical that forces recognise this behaviour as the serious corruption that it is and report all cases to the IPCC to ensure that they are thoroughly and robustly investigated.”

The HMIC findings formed part of a broader inspection of police legitimacy, which concluded victims’ satisfaction with the way they were treated by police remained high. The investigation was ordered by the then home secretary, Theresa May.

But the inspectorate said forces still needed to become more proactive in rooting out officers and staff abusing power for sexual gain. This could involve profiling officers to single out those who might be likely to commit such abuse.

Cunningham said one of the reasons the inspectorate believed the figures belied a greater problem was that forces in England and Wales did not have a consistent and coherent approach to tackling the problem.

Not all forces class the abuse of authority for sexual gain as a serious corruption issue, which HMIC says they should. This would mean any allegation would be automatically referred to the Independent Police Complaints Commission (IPCC) for investigation.

HMIC was only able to find 40 cases on the national disapproved register in which officers or staff were dismissed for abusing power for sexual gain during the period in which more than 400 allegations were received.

“What’s less clear is what’s happening with those allegations, how those allegations are being pursued, how they translate into gross misconduct hearings and sackings,” Cunningham said.

HMIC said the problem remained despite recommendations in a 2012 IPCC report on the issue, which appear to have not been acted on.

In her speech to the Police Federation conference earlier this year, May said: “We know of officers who develop inappropriate relationships with victims of domestic abuse. They have ignored their professional duty and their moral responsibility, and instead abused their position of power to exploit victims. We do not know the true scale of this, but everyone in this room will know it goes on far more than we might care to admit.”

"

| Hundreds | police | England | Wales | accused | sexual | abuse | news | officers | being | sexually | abusing | victims | suspects | what | senior | watchdog | called | “the | most | serious | corruption | issue | facing | service” | p> Forces | across | received | allegations | power | gain | against | community | support | eight | staff | years | March | inspectors | believe | problem | even | more | prevalent | than | numbers | suggest | p> Despite | large | there | evidence | that | only | have | been | dismissed | authority | similar | period | p> Vulnerable | individuals | including | domestic | alcohol | drug | addicts | workers | arrested | were | among | those | targeted | Majesty’s | Inspectorate | Constabulary | (HMIC) | said | p> Victim | groups | findings | “deeply | concerning” | involved | some | vulnerable | people | society | p> Mike | Cunningham | inspector | constabulary | former | chief | constable | Staffordshire | said: | “This | service | What | worse | guardian | trust | confidence | abused | person | There | greater | violation | public | ”< | p> “It | probably | likely | reported | back | added | p> “In | many | cases | They | they’re | might | they | dependency | exploitation | where | becomes | abuser | p> One | high | profile | their | recent | history | Stephen | Mitchell | jailed | life | 2011< | raping | assaulting | women | p> Mitchell | with | Northumbria | heroin | shoplifters | disabled | teenager | offering | them | help | while | custody | then | demanding | favours | afterwards | p> Earlier | this | year | Robert | Dawson | Metropolitan | officer | alleged | rape | victim | formally | from | force | tribunal | heard | 2010 | investigating | allegation | assault | engaged | inappropriate | relationship | victim< | p> PC | Simon | Salway | witnesses | crime | fathered | child | exploited | found | guilty | charges | misconduct | office< | Luton | crown | court | last | p> HMIC | third | (39%) | part | research | inspectorate | carried | online | survey | practitioners | between | July | August | Sixty | (16%) | took | disclosed | member | exploit | develop | p> The | executive | violence | charity | Refuge | Sandra | Horley | “Widespread | reports | exploiting | horrific | unsurprising | p> “Refuge | glad | HMIC’s | report | shone | light | following | consultation | frontline | meant | protect | harm; | expected | fear | will | over | again | Women | right | safety | protection | commends | work | HMIC | already | done | improving | response | violence; | hope | mean | appalling | p> Mark | Castle | independent | Victim | Support | “These | deeply | concerning | should | able | order | maintain | it’s | critical | forces | recognise | behaviour | IPCC | ensure | thoroughly | robustly | investigated | formed | broader | inspection | legitimacy | which | concluded | victims’ | satisfaction | treated | remained | investigation | ordered | home | secretary | Theresa | May< | p> But | still | needed | become | proactive | rooting | This | could | involve | profiling | single | commit | such | p> Cunningham | reasons | believed | figures | belied | consistent | coherent | approach | tackling | p> Not | class | says | would | automatically | referred | Independent | Police< | Complaints | Commission | (IPCC) | find | national | disapproved | register | during | p> “What’s | less | clear | what’s | happening | pursued | translate | into | gross | hearings | sackings | despite | recommendations | 2012 | appear | acted | p> In | speech | Police | Federation | conference | earlier | “We | know | relationships | ignored | professional | duty | moral | responsibility | instead | position | true | scale | everyone | room | goes | care | admit | p> |

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Hundreds of police in England and Wales accused of sexual abuse | UK news

Hundreds of police officers are being accused of sexually abusing victims and suspects in what a senior police watchdog has called “the most serious corruption issue facing the service”.

Forces across England and Wales received 436 allegations of abuse of power for sexual gain against 306 police officers, 20 police community support officers and eight staff in the two years to March but inspectors believe the problem is even more prevalent than the numbers suggest.

Despite the large numbers, there is evidence that only 40 officers or staff have been dismissed for abusing authority for sexual gain in a similar period.

Vulnerable individuals, including domestic abuse victims, alcohol and drug addicts, sex workers and arrested suspects were among those targeted by officers and staff, Her Majesty’s Inspectorate of Constabulary (HMIC) said.

Victim groups have said the findings are “deeply concerning” and involved some of the most vulnerable people in society.

Mike Cunningham, inspector of constabulary and former chief constable of Staffordshire police, said: “This is the most serious corruption issue facing the service. What can be worse than a guardian abusing the trust and confidence of an abused person? There can be no greater violation of public trust.”

“It is probably more likely the problem is more serious than the numbers reported back to us,” he added.

“In many cases the victims are vulnerable people. They are victims of domestic abuse, they’re victims who might have been arrested and they have drug or alcohol dependency. It is an exploitation of power where the guardian becomes the abuser.”

One of the most high-profile cases of police officers abusing their power in recent history was that of Stephen Mitchell, who was jailed for life in 2011 for raping and sexually assaulting vulnerable women he had arrested.

Mitchell, who was a constable with Northumbria police, abused heroin addicts, shoplifters and a disabled teenager by offering them help while in custody, then demanding sexual favours afterwards.

Earlier this year, DS Robert Dawson, a Metropolitan police officer who had sex with a vulnerable alleged rape victim, was formally dismissed from the force. A tribunal heard that in 2010, while investigating an allegation of serious sexual assault, Dawson engaged in an inappropriate sexual relationship with the victim.

PC Simon Salway, who had sex with vulnerable witnesses and victims of crime, and fathered a child with one of the women he exploited, was found guilty of six charges of misconduct in a public office at Luton crown court last year.

HMIC found that more than a third (39%) of the allegations of abuse of authority for sexual gain involved victims of domestic abuse. As part of its research the inspectorate carried out an online survey of domestic abuse practitioners between July and August. Sixty-eight practitioners (16%) of the 414 who took part said victims of domestic abuse had disclosed that an officer or member of police staff had abused their authority to exploit them or develop an inappropriate relationship with them.

The chief executive of the domestic violence charity Refuge, Sandra Horley, said: “Widespread reports of police officers exploiting women for sexual gain … are horrific â€" but unsurprising.

“Refuge is glad HMIC’s report has shone a light on this issue, following a consultation with domestic violence practitioners including our frontline staff. The police are meant to protect the public from harm; how can women be expected to report their abuse, if they fear the police will abuse them all over again? Women have the right to safety and protection.

“Refuge commends the work HMIC has already done in improving the police response to domestic violence; we hope this report will mean an end to what is an appalling abuse of power.”

Mark Castle, chief executive of the independent charity Victim Support, said: “These allegations are deeply concerning. The victims involved are some of the most vulnerable people in our society, who have been exploited by the people they should be able to trust the most, the police.

“In order to maintain public confidence in the police it’s critical that forces recognise this behaviour as the serious corruption that it is and report all cases to the IPCC to ensure that they are thoroughly and robustly investigated.”

The HMIC findings formed part of a broader inspection of police legitimacy, which concluded victims’ satisfaction with the way they were treated by police remained high. The investigation was ordered by the then home secretary, Theresa May.

But the inspectorate said forces still needed to become more proactive in rooting out officers and staff abusing power for sexual gain. This could involve profiling officers to single out those who might be likely to commit such abuse.

Cunningham said one of the reasons the inspectorate believed the figures belied a greater problem was that forces in England and Wales did not have a consistent and coherent approach to tackling the problem.

Not all forces class the abuse of authority for sexual gain as a serious corruption issue, which HMIC says they should. This would mean any allegation would be automatically referred to the Independent Police Complaints Commission (IPCC) for investigation.

HMIC was only able to find 40 cases on the national disapproved register in which officers or staff were dismissed for abusing power for sexual gain during the period in which more than 400 allegations were received.

“What’s less clear is what’s happening with those allegations, how those allegations are being pursued, how they translate into gross misconduct hearings and sackings,” Cunningham said.

HMIC said the problem remained despite recommendations in a 2012 IPCC report on the issue, which appear to have not been acted on.

In her speech to the Police Federation conference earlier this year, May said: “We know of officers who develop inappropriate relationships with victims of domestic abuse. They have ignored their professional duty and their moral responsibility, and instead abused their position of power to exploit victims. We do not know the true scale of this, but everyone in this room will know it goes on far more than we might care to admit.”

"

| Hundreds | police | England | Wales | accused | sexual | abuse | news | officers | being | sexually | abusing | victims | suspects | what | senior | watchdog | called | “the | most | serious | corruption | issue | facing | service” | p> Forces | across | received | allegations | power | gain | against | community | support | eight | staff | years | March | inspectors | believe | problem | even | more | prevalent | than | numbers | suggest | p> Despite | large | there | evidence | that | only | have | been | dismissed | authority | similar | period | p> Vulnerable | individuals | including | domestic | alcohol | drug | addicts | workers | arrested | were | among | those | targeted | Majesty’s | Inspectorate | Constabulary | (HMIC) | said | p> Victim | groups | findings | “deeply | concerning” | involved | some | vulnerable | people | society | p> Mike | Cunningham | inspector | constabulary | former | chief | constable | Staffordshire | said: | “This | service | What | worse | guardian | trust | confidence | abused | person | There | greater | violation | public | ”< | p> “It | probably | likely | reported | back | added | p> “In | many | cases | They | they’re | might | they | dependency | exploitation | where | becomes | abuser | p> One | high | profile | their | recent | history | Stephen | Mitchell | jailed | life | 2011< | raping | assaulting | women | p> Mitchell | with | Northumbria | heroin | shoplifters | disabled | teenager | offering | them | help | while | custody | then | demanding | favours | afterwards | p> Earlier | this | year | Robert | Dawson | Metropolitan | officer | alleged | rape | victim | formally | from | force | tribunal | heard | 2010 | investigating | allegation | assault | engaged | inappropriate | relationship | victim< | p> PC | Simon | Salway | witnesses | crime | fathered | child | exploited | found | guilty | charges | misconduct | office< | Luton | crown | court | last | p> HMIC | third | (39%) | part | research | inspectorate | carried | online | survey | practitioners | between | July | August | Sixty | (16%) | took | disclosed | member | exploit | develop | p> The | executive | violence | charity | Refuge | Sandra | Horley | “Widespread | reports | exploiting | horrific | unsurprising | p> “Refuge | glad | HMIC’s | report | shone | light | following | consultation | frontline | meant | protect | harm; | expected | fear | will | over | again | Women | right | safety | protection | commends | work | HMIC | already | done | improving | response | violence; | hope | mean | appalling | p> Mark | Castle | independent | Victim | Support | “These | deeply | concerning | should | able | order | maintain | it’s | critical | forces | recognise | behaviour | IPCC | ensure | thoroughly | robustly | investigated | formed | broader | inspection | legitimacy | which | concluded | victims’ | satisfaction | treated | remained | investigation | ordered | home | secretary | Theresa | May< | p> But | still | needed | become | proactive | rooting | This | could | involve | profiling | single | commit | such | p> Cunningham | reasons | believed | figures | belied | consistent | coherent | approach | tackling | p> Not | class | says | would | automatically | referred | Independent | Police< | Complaints | Commission | (IPCC) | find | national | disapproved | register | during | p> “What’s | less | clear | what’s | happening | pursued | translate | into | gross | hearings | sackings | despite | recommendations | 2012 | appear | acted | p> In | speech | Police | Federation | conference | earlier | “We | know | relationships | ignored | professional | duty | moral | responsibility | instead | position | true | scale | everyone | room | goes | care | admit | p> |

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Friday, December 9, 2016

Post-Election, Survivors Of Assault Are Struggling To Have Sex Again

After the now infamous recording of President-elect Donald Trump bragging about grabbing women by the pussy came out, Anna*, 33, went to her Facebook page to share her story. In high school, she had been raped by her boyfriend, and in that moment, she wanted people to know.

“I didn’t say anyone’s name, I just said I had been raped and I was a domestic violence and sexual assault survivor, and why it bothered me so much what Trump had said,” Anna told The Huffington Post. “I said, this is not just locker room talk. This happens to people, and this happened to me.”

After posting, Anna felt great. She heard from several women who shared their own stories and she helped connect them to resources. But then her ex-boyfriend reached out, saying he was going to sue her ― at the the same moment Trump was threatening to sue his accusers. It was an unsettling parallel Anna could not quite wrap her head around, and she was anxious for the election to be over.

“I kept wanting to think that Trump wouldn’t get elected and our nation would say this kind of thing isn’t OK,” Anna said. Since Trump’s win, she has been in a tailspin. For a week-and-a-half, she couldn’t sleep. She still hasn’t really been able to be intimate with her husband.

“Since Trump’s comment, we’ve only had sex a couple of times,” she said, adding that she was going to meet with her doctor to talk about options. “I don’t want to feel this way.” 

I had gotten to a point where I had taken my own power back from my rapist, and this felt like the American people telling me, "No, no. He still has more power over you." Ali, 28

The 2016 presidential campaign was difficult for many women, especially those who felt triggered by Trump’s so-called “locker room talk,” and a string of allegations that he’d groped and kissed women without their consent. But Trump’s win, they say, is even more difficult ― not just a reminder of everything they’ve been through, but a minimizing of it. And it has left their sex lives in shambles.

“It resurfaced a lot of past trauma that I had experienced about seven years ago when I was sexually assaulted,” Ali, 28, told The Huffington Post. “I had gotten to a point where I had taken my own power back from my rapist, and this felt like the American people telling me, ‘No, no. He still has more power over you.’”

Prior to Trump’s win, Ali had sex with her husband every other day. Now, they’ve been having sex maybe once a week ― not nothing, but not the same. When they do have sex, Ali feels far less enthusiastic. 

“I’m just not as comfortable letting myself be sexual right now,” she said.

It is hardly a surprising reaction, says Wendy Maltz, a sex therapist and author of The Sexual Healing Journey: A Guide For Survivors Of Sexual Abuse.

“Here, we have a really unprecedented situation where a person who has been identified as a sexual perpetrator by many women has been elevated to the highest position in the country,” she said. “For many [people] who’ve been sexually abused, it’s a huge shock.”

Trump’s broader triggering effect has been well-documented. Soon after Trump’s “grab them by the pussy” tape came out, RAINN ― the sexual assault survivor nonprofit that runs the National Sexual Assault Hotline ― saw call traffic increase by 33 percent. At one point during the campaign, 3,000 therapists signed a “manifesto” detailing the psychological toll they believed Trump was taking on their patients, everything from anxiety and fear to shame, Politico reports. One therapist who works with survivors of domestic abuse and sexual assault told Slate she’d seen an uptick in patients calling for emergency counseling sessions, and experiencing flashbacks and an inability to go outside. 

When I look at Donald Trump, I have this visceral reaction where I look at him as someone who actually sexually assaulted me. Jamie*, 31

But it’s not just Trump’s behavior, Maltz said. It’s the feeling that many Americans simply didn’t care enough about their experiences to vote against a sexual aggressor that has made it so challenging for women to be intimate again, even with trusted partners. And Maltz points to research that has found that “institutional betrayal” ― the kind that happens when a student reports an assault and his or her university fails to provide backup ― can exacerbate trauma, leading to further anxiety, depression and sexual problems.

“Those results suggest that institutions ― or in this situation, the election ― has the power to cause additional harm to assault survivors in the form of sexual effects,” she said. Women can feel re-traumatized, Maltz added. They can project their feelings onto someone else, such as a partner or even Trump himself.

That’s exactly what is happening to Jamie*, 31, who was date raped when she was 16.

“When I look at Donald Trump, I have this visceral reaction where I look at him as someone who actually sexually assaulted me,” she said. “It has put me into this hole, where I don’t feel like I want to be intimate with my live-in boyfriend of four years.” They have not had sex since the election, and she has no sexual appetite right now.

Jamie understands, of course, that Trump did not actually assault her ― but she can’t shake the feeling that she has been violated in some way. 

“I’ve never experienced looking at a stranger and having that kind of reaction,” she said. Jamie is hopeful she and her boyfriend will resume their sex life soon, but the thought of seeing Trump’s face every day for four years worries her.

“I just feel like, ugh. Dirty. Muddy,” Jamie said. “I feel like I was victimized.”

* First names have been changed for privacy reasons. 

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