Showing posts sorted by relevance for query Journey:. Sort by date Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query Journey:. Sort by date Show all posts

Friday, April 12, 2013

How many days should I have sex after a positive ovulation test?

Q. Hello,
I had sex on 7/12. I got a positive ovulation test on 7/13. We had sex on 7/13 and 7/14 and will have sex today. Do you think that I have a good chance?

A. Sounds like you have timed it all very well.
If this cycle isn't successful then next month you can try and just have sex every second day and not test for Ovulation so you never feel 'pressured' while your TTC.

Having sex everyday does make the sperm not as strong for the long journey they have ahead of them to the F/T. Males produce more sperm everytime they ejaculate. They should ideally have about 36hours to let the sperm grow big and strong for the journey so sometimes it is better to have sex every 48 hours not every 24 hours. Because you want the sperm to be as strong as possible so you have a better chance of getting pregnant.

How do you write a good sex scene and what are some examples of good sex scenes?
Q. I'm trying to write a sex scene (obviously, from the question). I'm not sure how to write a good one and as I plan on having someone else read it, I want it to be...good. I've heard that you should write what you know, but I've never had sex so I can't really do that.
Also, some examples of good sex scenes would be nice. Links or whatever. I'm planning on mine being female dominant, if that information helps.

A. The scene in Mad Men where Betty Draper has sex with the washing machine.. that was some serious action.

How important is sex in your relationship?
Q. I've seen a lot of people remark that sex has zero importance in a relationship but I just don't see it. I like sex and it's a must for me. It's a stress reliever and a way to be connected to someone physically. How could anyone say that's not important.

So I ask you, how important is it to your relationship?

A. Sex is very important.

Sex when you're not in a relationship is fun.

Sex when you're in a relationship is fun, connecting and bonding on a deeper level. Sex with someone you love is always the best sex.



If You Want to Update this Blog, You Can do it by Click This Link and This Blog Will be Updated Automaticly

Monday, August 26, 2013

How many days should I have sex after a positive ovulation test?

Q. Hello,
I had sex on 7/12. I got a positive ovulation test on 7/13. We had sex on 7/13 and 7/14 and will have sex today. Do you think that I have a good chance?

A. Sounds like you have timed it all very well.
If this cycle isn't successful then next month you can try and just have sex every second day and not test for Ovulation so you never feel 'pressured' while your TTC.

Having sex everyday does make the sperm not as strong for the long journey they have ahead of them to the F/T. Males produce more sperm everytime they ejaculate. They should ideally have about 36hours to let the sperm grow big and strong for the journey so sometimes it is better to have sex every 48 hours not every 24 hours. Because you want the sperm to be as strong as possible so you have a better chance of getting pregnant.

How do you write a good sex scene and what are some examples of good sex scenes?
Q. I'm trying to write a sex scene (obviously, from the question). I'm not sure how to write a good one and as I plan on having someone else read it, I want it to be...good. I've heard that you should write what you know, but I've never had sex so I can't really do that.
Also, some examples of good sex scenes would be nice. Links or whatever. I'm planning on mine being female dominant, if that information helps.

A. The scene in Mad Men where Betty Draper has sex with the washing machine.. that was some serious action.

How important is sex in your relationship?
Q. I've seen a lot of people remark that sex has zero importance in a relationship but I just don't see it. I like sex and it's a must for me. It's a stress reliever and a way to be connected to someone physically. How could anyone say that's not important.

So I ask you, how important is it to your relationship?

A. Sex is very important.

Sex when you're not in a relationship is fun.

Sex when you're in a relationship is fun, connecting and bonding on a deeper level. Sex with someone you love is always the best sex.



If You Want to Update this Blog, You Can do it by Click This Link and This Blog Will be Updated Automaticly

Monday, January 7, 2013

How does one avoid sex when starting off a long term relationship?

Q. I have a boyfriend. He likes sex and I like sex. However, we want the relationship to be long term and if we engage in sex I have a fear that things will be different between us.

A. Speaking as a man, I will tell you that you are very smart to not "give it up" so easily. If you want a man to really, really love you, portraying yourself as "easy" almost certainly guarantees that any good man will pass over you, and the men who are interested in you would just be interested for the sex. When they reach the point in their life where they want a real girlfriend, or to think about getting married, it won't be with you.

In fact, when I was single, my biggest concern was not to meet a woman, but to NOT meet a sh*tty woman. When I did meet a woman that I was interested in, I always asked the all-important questions, such as what they did for a living, what their goals were, what they like to do for fun, and if they had any children. If I didn't like what I heard, then goodbye. Also, there were women that I met, and they wanted to "hook up" that same night, or women that I dated a few times, and they already wanted sex. And of course I said no way (and did not have sex with them).

Screening out all the losers worked very well for me, because I did not have a "real" girlfriend until I was 27 years old, and now I am 30 and we are married, and I am much happier than my friends and co-workers who had many girlfriends and years (decades?) of casual sex.

One of the reasons why I love my wife so much, and decided to get married with her is because when we were boyfriend and girlfriend, we did everything in steps, to make sure we really love each other. After we were together for more than 4 months and knew that we really loved each other, then we started to have a sexual relationship.

So in summary, don't be "easy", or else the man will never take you seriously. Especially if he is a man that has been with many women in his lifetime.

How soon after having sex will you start to get morning sickness?
Q. Yesterday, I had unprotected sex and today I threw up without feeling sick like, at all. I'm just wondering, is it possible that this is morning sickness? or is it too soon after sex to be morning sickness?

A. Morning sickness generally doesn't set in until you are between 7-9 weeks pregnant... Some get it sooner, some get it later, some never get it at all, but on average, it takes quite some time before you get the classic pregnancy symptoms such as morning sickness.

It's not possible for you to have any symptoms if you just had sex yesterday b/c you're not even pregnant yet. It takes 2-3 days for the sperm to even FIND the egg and then 6-12 days for the egg to implant into the uterus and start producing the hormones that cause symptoms.

So you're just stressing out for no reason.

How many days should I have sex after a positive ovulation test?
Q. Hello,
I had sex on 7/12. I got a positive ovulation test on 7/13. We had sex on 7/13 and 7/14 and will have sex today. Do you think that I have a good chance?

A. Sounds like you have timed it all very well.
If this cycle isn't successful then next month you can try and just have sex every second day and not test for Ovulation so you never feel 'pressured' while your TTC.

Having sex everyday does make the sperm not as strong for the long journey they have ahead of them to the F/T. Males produce more sperm everytime they ejaculate. They should ideally have about 36hours to let the sperm grow big and strong for the journey so sometimes it is better to have sex every 48 hours not every 24 hours. Because you want the sperm to be as strong as possible so you have a better chance of getting pregnant.



If You Want to Update this Blog, You Can do it by Click This Link and This Blog Will be Updated Automaticly

Friday, December 9, 2016

Post-Election, Survivors Of Assault Are Struggling To Have Sex Again

After the now infamous recording of President-elect Donald Trump bragging about grabbing women by the pussy came out, Anna*, 33, went to her Facebook page to share her story. In high school, she had been raped by her boyfriend, and in that moment, she wanted people to know.

“I didn’t say anyone’s name, I just said I had been raped and I was a domestic violence and sexual assault survivor, and why it bothered me so much what Trump had said,” Anna told The Huffington Post. “I said, this is not just locker room talk. This happens to people, and this happened to me.”

After posting, Anna felt great. She heard from several women who shared their own stories and she helped connect them to resources. But then her ex-boyfriend reached out, saying he was going to sue her ― at the the same moment Trump was threatening to sue his accusers. It was an unsettling parallel Anna could not quite wrap her head around, and she was anxious for the election to be over.

“I kept wanting to think that Trump wouldn’t get elected and our nation would say this kind of thing isn’t OK,” Anna said. Since Trump’s win, she has been in a tailspin. For a week-and-a-half, she couldn’t sleep. She still hasn’t really been able to be intimate with her husband.

“Since Trump’s comment, we’ve only had sex a couple of times,” she said, adding that she was going to meet with her doctor to talk about options. “I don’t want to feel this way.” 

I had gotten to a point where I had taken my own power back from my rapist, and this felt like the American people telling me, "No, no. He still has more power over you." Ali, 28

The 2016 presidential campaign was difficult for many women, especially those who felt triggered by Trump’s so-called “locker room talk,” and a string of allegations that he’d groped and kissed women without their consent. But Trump’s win, they say, is even more difficult ― not just a reminder of everything they’ve been through, but a minimizing of it. And it has left their sex lives in shambles.

“It resurfaced a lot of past trauma that I had experienced about seven years ago when I was sexually assaulted,” Ali, 28, told The Huffington Post. “I had gotten to a point where I had taken my own power back from my rapist, and this felt like the American people telling me, ‘No, no. He still has more power over you.’”

Prior to Trump’s win, Ali had sex with her husband every other day. Now, they’ve been having sex maybe once a week ― not nothing, but not the same. When they do have sex, Ali feels far less enthusiastic. 

“I’m just not as comfortable letting myself be sexual right now,” she said.

It is hardly a surprising reaction, says Wendy Maltz, a sex therapist and author of The Sexual Healing Journey: A Guide For Survivors Of Sexual Abuse.

“Here, we have a really unprecedented situation where a person who has been identified as a sexual perpetrator by many women has been elevated to the highest position in the country,” she said. “For many [people] who’ve been sexually abused, it’s a huge shock.”

Trump’s broader triggering effect has been well-documented. Soon after Trump’s “grab them by the pussy” tape came out, RAINN ― the sexual assault survivor nonprofit that runs the National Sexual Assault Hotline ― saw call traffic increase by 33 percent. At one point during the campaign, 3,000 therapists signed a “manifesto” detailing the psychological toll they believed Trump was taking on their patients, everything from anxiety and fear to shame, Politico reports. One therapist who works with survivors of domestic abuse and sexual assault told Slate she’d seen an uptick in patients calling for emergency counseling sessions, and experiencing flashbacks and an inability to go outside. 

When I look at Donald Trump, I have this visceral reaction where I look at him as someone who actually sexually assaulted me. Jamie*, 31

But it’s not just Trump’s behavior, Maltz said. It’s the feeling that many Americans simply didn’t care enough about their experiences to vote against a sexual aggressor that has made it so challenging for women to be intimate again, even with trusted partners. And Maltz points to research that has found that “institutional betrayal” ― the kind that happens when a student reports an assault and his or her university fails to provide backup ― can exacerbate trauma, leading to further anxiety, depression and sexual problems.

“Those results suggest that institutions ― or in this situation, the election ― has the power to cause additional harm to assault survivors in the form of sexual effects,” she said. Women can feel re-traumatized, Maltz added. They can project their feelings onto someone else, such as a partner or even Trump himself.

That’s exactly what is happening to Jamie*, 31, who was date raped when she was 16.

“When I look at Donald Trump, I have this visceral reaction where I look at him as someone who actually sexually assaulted me,” she said. “It has put me into this hole, where I don’t feel like I want to be intimate with my live-in boyfriend of four years.” They have not had sex since the election, and she has no sexual appetite right now.

Jamie understands, of course, that Trump did not actually assault her ― but she can’t shake the feeling that she has been violated in some way. 

“I’ve never experienced looking at a stranger and having that kind of reaction,” she said. Jamie is hopeful she and her boyfriend will resume their sex life soon, but the thought of seeing Trump’s face every day for four years worries her.

“I just feel like, ugh. Dirty. Muddy,” Jamie said. “I feel like I was victimized.”

* First names have been changed for privacy reasons. 

Suggest a correction
"

| Post-Election, | Survivors | Assault | Struggling | Have | Again | After | infamous | recording | President | elect | Donald | Trump | bragging | about | grabbing | women | pussy< | came | Anna* | went | Facebook | page | share | story | high | school | been | raped | boyfriend | that | moment | wanted | people | know | p> “I | didn’t | anyone’s | name | just | said | domestic | violence | sexual | assault | survivor | bothered | much | what | Anna | told | Huffington | Post | “I | this | not< | locker | room | talk | This | happens | happened | ”< | p> After | posting |  Anna | felt | great | heard | from | several | shared | their | stories | helped | connect | them | resources | then | reached | saying | going | same | threatening | accusers | unsettling | parallel | could | quite | wrap | head | around | anxious | election | over | kept | wanting | think | wouldn’t | elected | nation | would | kind | thing | isn’t | Since | Trump’s | tailspin | week | half | couldn’t | sleep | still | hasn’t | really | able | intimate | with | husband | p> “Since | comment | we’ve | only | couple | times | adding | meet | doctor | options | don’t | want | feel | ” < | p> < | div> I | gotten | point | where | taken | power | back | rapist | like | American | telling | more | span> | span>< | blockquote> The | 2016 | presidential | campaign | difficult | many | especially | those | triggered | called | “locker | string | allegations< | he’d | groped | kissed | without | consent | they | even | reminder | everything | they’ve | through | minimizing | left | lives | shambles | p> “It | resurfaced | past | trauma | experienced | seven | years | when | sexually | assaulted | ‘No | ’”< | p> Prior | every | other | having | maybe | once | nothing | When | have | feels | less | enthusiastic | p> “I’m | comfortable | letting | myself | right | p> It | hardly | surprising | reaction | says | Wendy | Maltz | therapist | author | Sexual | Healing | Journey: | Guide | Abuse | em>< | p> “Here | unprecedented | situation | person | identified | perpetrator | elevated | highest | position | country | “For | [people] | who’ve | abused | it’s | huge | shock | p> Trump’s | broader | triggering | effect | well | documented | Soon | after | “grab | pussy” | tape |  RAINN< | a> ― the | nonprofit | runs | National | Hotline | call | traffic | increase | percent< | during | therapists | signed | “manifesto” | detailing | psychological | toll | believed | taking | patients | anxiety | fear | shame | Politico | reports< | works | survivors | abuse | Slate< | she’d | seen | uptick | calling | emergency | counseling | sessions | experiencing | flashbacks | inability | outside | div> When | look | visceral | someone | actually | Jamie* | blockquote> But | behavior | It’s | feeling | Americans | simply | care | enough | experiences | vote | against | aggressor | made | challenging | again | trusted | partners | points | research | found< | “institutional | betrayal” | student | reports | university | fails | provide | backup | exacerbate | leading | further | depression | problems | p> “Those | results | suggest | institutions | cause | additional | harm | form | effects | Women | traumatized | added | They | project | feelings | onto | else | such | partner | himself | p> That’s | exactly | happening | date | p> “When | “It | into | hole | live | four | since | appetite | p> Jamie | understands | course | can’t | shake | violated | some | p> “I’ve | never | looking | stranger | Jamie | hopeful | will | resume | life | soon | thought | seeing | face | worries | Dirty | Muddy | victimized | p> * | First | names | changed | privacy | reasons | strong>< | div> | Suggest | correction< | div> |

Thank You Very Very Much for Visiting this Blog

Post-Election, Survivors Of Assault Are Struggling To Have Sex Again

After the now infamous recording of President-elect Donald Trump bragging about grabbing women by the pussy came out, Anna*, 33, went to her Facebook page to share her story. In high school, she had been raped by her boyfriend, and in that moment, she wanted people to know.

“I didn’t say anyone’s name, I just said I had been raped and I was a domestic violence and sexual assault survivor, and why it bothered me so much what Trump had said,” Anna told The Huffington Post. “I said, this is not just locker room talk. This happens to people, and this happened to me.”

After posting, Anna felt great. She heard from several women who shared their own stories and she helped connect them to resources. But then her ex-boyfriend reached out, saying he was going to sue her ― at the the same moment Trump was threatening to sue his accusers. It was an unsettling parallel Anna could not quite wrap her head around, and she was anxious for the election to be over.

“I kept wanting to think that Trump wouldn’t get elected and our nation would say this kind of thing isn’t OK,” Anna said. Since Trump’s win, she has been in a tailspin. For a week-and-a-half, she couldn’t sleep. She still hasn’t really been able to be intimate with her husband.

“Since Trump’s comment, we’ve only had sex a couple of times,” she said, adding that she was going to meet with her doctor to talk about options. “I don’t want to feel this way.” 

I had gotten to a point where I had taken my own power back from my rapist, and this felt like the American people telling me, "No, no. He still has more power over you." Ali, 28

The 2016 presidential campaign was difficult for many women, especially those who felt triggered by Trump’s so-called “locker room talk,” and a string of allegations that he’d groped and kissed women without their consent. But Trump’s win, they say, is even more difficult ― not just a reminder of everything they’ve been through, but a minimizing of it. And it has left their sex lives in shambles.

“It resurfaced a lot of past trauma that I had experienced about seven years ago when I was sexually assaulted,” Ali, 28, told The Huffington Post. “I had gotten to a point where I had taken my own power back from my rapist, and this felt like the American people telling me, ‘No, no. He still has more power over you.’”

Prior to Trump’s win, Ali had sex with her husband every other day. Now, they’ve been having sex maybe once a week ― not nothing, but not the same. When they do have sex, Ali feels far less enthusiastic. 

“I’m just not as comfortable letting myself be sexual right now,” she said.

It is hardly a surprising reaction, says Wendy Maltz, a sex therapist and author of The Sexual Healing Journey: A Guide For Survivors Of Sexual Abuse.

“Here, we have a really unprecedented situation where a person who has been identified as a sexual perpetrator by many women has been elevated to the highest position in the country,” she said. “For many [people] who’ve been sexually abused, it’s a huge shock.”

Trump’s broader triggering effect has been well-documented. Soon after Trump’s “grab them by the pussy” tape came out, RAINN ― the sexual assault survivor nonprofit that runs the National Sexual Assault Hotline ― saw call traffic increase by 33 percent. At one point during the campaign, 3,000 therapists signed a “manifesto” detailing the psychological toll they believed Trump was taking on their patients, everything from anxiety and fear to shame, Politico reports. One therapist who works with survivors of domestic abuse and sexual assault told Slate she’d seen an uptick in patients calling for emergency counseling sessions, and experiencing flashbacks and an inability to go outside. 

When I look at Donald Trump, I have this visceral reaction where I look at him as someone who actually sexually assaulted me. Jamie*, 31

But it’s not just Trump’s behavior, Maltz said. It’s the feeling that many Americans simply didn’t care enough about their experiences to vote against a sexual aggressor that has made it so challenging for women to be intimate again, even with trusted partners. And Maltz points to research that has found that “institutional betrayal” ― the kind that happens when a student reports an assault and his or her university fails to provide backup ― can exacerbate trauma, leading to further anxiety, depression and sexual problems.

“Those results suggest that institutions ― or in this situation, the election ― has the power to cause additional harm to assault survivors in the form of sexual effects,” she said. Women can feel re-traumatized, Maltz added. They can project their feelings onto someone else, such as a partner or even Trump himself.

That’s exactly what is happening to Jamie*, 31, who was date raped when she was 16.

“When I look at Donald Trump, I have this visceral reaction where I look at him as someone who actually sexually assaulted me,” she said. “It has put me into this hole, where I don’t feel like I want to be intimate with my live-in boyfriend of four years.” They have not had sex since the election, and she has no sexual appetite right now.

Jamie understands, of course, that Trump did not actually assault her ― but she can’t shake the feeling that she has been violated in some way. 

“I’ve never experienced looking at a stranger and having that kind of reaction,” she said. Jamie is hopeful she and her boyfriend will resume their sex life soon, but the thought of seeing Trump’s face every day for four years worries her.

“I just feel like, ugh. Dirty. Muddy,” Jamie said. “I feel like I was victimized.”

* First names have been changed for privacy reasons. 

Suggest a correction
"

| Post-Election, | Survivors | Assault | Struggling | Have | Again | After | infamous | recording | President | elect | Donald | Trump | bragging | about | grabbing | women | pussy< | came | Anna* | went | Facebook | page | share | story | high | school | been | raped | boyfriend | that | moment | wanted | people | know | p> “I | didn’t | anyone’s | name | just | said | domestic | violence | sexual | assault | survivor | bothered | much | what | Anna | told | Huffington | Post | “I | this | not< | locker | room | talk | This | happens | happened | ”< | p> After | posting |  Anna | felt | great | heard | from | several | shared | their | stories | helped | connect | them | resources | then | reached | saying | going | same | threatening | accusers | unsettling | parallel | could | quite | wrap | head | around | anxious | election | over | kept | wanting | think | wouldn’t | elected | nation | would | kind | thing | isn’t | Since | Trump’s | tailspin | week | half | couldn’t | sleep | still | hasn’t | really | able | intimate | with | husband | p> “Since | comment | we’ve | only | couple | times | adding | meet | doctor | options | don’t | want | feel | ” < | p> < | div> I | gotten | point | where | taken | power | back | rapist | like | American | telling | more | span> | span>< | blockquote> The | 2016 | presidential | campaign | difficult | many | especially | those | triggered | called | “locker | string | allegations< | he’d | groped | kissed | without | consent | they | even | reminder | everything | they’ve | through | minimizing | left | lives | shambles | p> “It | resurfaced | past | trauma | experienced | seven | years | when | sexually | assaulted | ‘No | ’”< | p> Prior | every | other | having | maybe | once | nothing | When | have | feels | less | enthusiastic | p> “I’m | comfortable | letting | myself | right | p> It | hardly | surprising | reaction | says | Wendy | Maltz | therapist | author | Sexual | Healing | Journey: | Guide | Abuse | em>< | p> “Here | unprecedented | situation | person | identified | perpetrator | elevated | highest | position | country | “For | [people] | who’ve | abused | it’s | huge | shock | p> Trump’s | broader | triggering | effect | well | documented | Soon | after | “grab | pussy” | tape |  RAINN< | a> ― the | nonprofit | runs | National | Hotline | call | traffic | increase | percent< | during | therapists | signed | “manifesto” | detailing | psychological | toll | believed | taking | patients | anxiety | fear | shame | Politico | reports< | works | survivors | abuse | Slate< | she’d | seen | uptick | calling | emergency | counseling | sessions | experiencing | flashbacks | inability | outside | div> When | look | visceral | someone | actually | Jamie* | blockquote> But | behavior | It’s | feeling | Americans | simply | care | enough | experiences | vote | against | aggressor | made | challenging | again | trusted | partners | points | research | found< | “institutional | betrayal” | student | reports | university | fails | provide | backup | exacerbate | leading | further | depression | problems | p> “Those | results | suggest | institutions | cause | additional | harm | form | effects | Women | traumatized | added | They | project | feelings | onto | else | such | partner | himself | p> That’s | exactly | happening | date | p> “When | “It | into | hole | live | four | since | appetite | p> Jamie | understands | course | can’t | shake | violated | some | p> “I’ve | never | looking | stranger | Jamie | hopeful | will | resume | life | soon | thought | seeing | face | worries | Dirty | Muddy | victimized | p> * | First | names | changed | privacy | reasons | strong>< | div> | Suggest | correction< | div> |

Thank You So Much for Read this News

Thursday, December 8, 2016

Post-Election, Survivors Of Assault Are Struggling To Have Sex Again

After the now infamous recording of President-elect Donald Trump bragging about grabbing women by the pussy came out, Anna*, 33, went to her Facebook page to share her story. In high school, she had been raped by her boyfriend, and in that moment, she wanted people to know.

“I didn’t say anyone’s name, I just said I had been raped and I was a domestic violence and sexual assault survivor, and why it bothered me so much what Trump had said,” Anna told The Huffington Post. “I said, this is not just locker room talk. This happens to people, and this happened to me.”

After posting, Anna felt great. She heard from several women who shared their own stories and she helped connect them to resources. But then her ex-boyfriend reached out, saying he was going to sue her ― at the the same moment Trump was threatening to sue his accusers. It was an unsettling parallel Anna could not quite wrap her head around, and she was anxious for the election to be over.

“I kept wanting to think that Trump wouldn’t get elected and our nation would say this kind of thing isn’t OK,” Anna said. Since Trump’s win, she has been in a tailspin. For a week-and-a-half, she couldn’t sleep. She still hasn’t really been able to be intimate with her husband.

“Since Trump’s comment, we’ve only had sex a couple of times,” she said, adding that she was going to meet with her doctor to talk about options. “I don’t want to feel this way.” 

I had gotten to a point where I had taken my own power back from my rapist, and this felt like the American people telling me, "No, no. He still has more power over you." Ali, 28

The 2016 presidential campaign was difficult for many women, especially those who felt triggered by Trump’s so-called “locker room talk,” and a string of allegations that he’d groped and kissed women without their consent. But Trump’s win, they say, is even more difficult ― not just a reminder of everything they’ve been through, but a minimizing of it. And it has left their sex lives in shambles.

“It resurfaced a lot of past trauma that I had experienced about seven years ago when I was sexually assaulted,” Ali, 28, told The Huffington Post. “I had gotten to a point where I had taken my own power back from my rapist, and this felt like the American people telling me, ‘No, no. He still has more power over you.’”

Prior to Trump’s win, Ali had sex with her husband every other day. Now, they’ve been having sex maybe once a week ― not nothing, but not the same. When they do have sex, Ali feels far less enthusiastic. 

“I’m just not as comfortable letting myself be sexual right now,” she said.

It is hardly a surprising reaction, says Wendy Maltz, a sex therapist and author of The Sexual Healing Journey: A Guide For Survivors Of Sexual Abuse.

“Here, we have a really unprecedented situation where a person who has been identified as a sexual perpetrator by many women has been elevated to the highest position in the country,” she said. “For many [people] who’ve been sexually abused, it’s a huge shock.”

Trump’s broader triggering effect has been well-documented. Soon after Trump’s “grab them by the pussy” tape came out, RAINN ― the sexual assault survivor nonprofit that runs the National Sexual Assault Hotline ― saw call traffic increase by 33 percent. At one point during the campaign, 3,000 therapists signed a “manifesto” detailing the psychological toll they believed Trump was taking on their patients, everything from anxiety and fear to shame, Politico reports. One therapist who works with survivors of domestic abuse and sexual assault told Slate she’d seen an uptick in patients calling for emergency counseling sessions, and experiencing flashbacks and an inability to go outside. 

When I look at Donald Trump, I have this visceral reaction where I look at him as someone who actually sexually assaulted me. Jamie*, 31

But it’s not just Trump’s behavior, Maltz said. It’s the feeling that many Americans simply didn’t care enough about their experiences to vote against a sexual aggressor that has made it so challenging for women to be intimate again, even with trusted partners. And Maltz points to research that has found that “institutional betrayal” ― the kind that happens when a student reports an assault and his or her university fails to provide backup ― can exacerbate trauma, leading to further anxiety, depression and sexual problems.

“Those results suggest that institutions ― or in this situation, the election ― has the power to cause additional harm to assault survivors in the form of sexual effects,” she said. Women can feel re-traumatized, Maltz added. They can project their feelings onto someone else, such as a partner or even Trump himself.

That’s exactly what is happening to Jamie*, 31, who was date raped when she was 16.

“When I look at Donald Trump, I have this visceral reaction where I look at him as someone who actually sexually assaulted me,” she said. “It has put me into this hole, where I don’t feel like I want to be intimate with my live-in boyfriend of four years.” They have not had sex since the election, and she has no sexual appetite right now.

Jamie understands, of course, that Trump did not actually assault her ― but she can’t shake the feeling that she has been violated in some way. 

“I’ve never experienced looking at a stranger and having that kind of reaction,” she said. Jamie is hopeful she and her boyfriend will resume their sex life soon, but the thought of seeing Trump’s face every day for four years worries her.

“I just feel like, ugh. Dirty. Muddy,” Jamie said. “I feel like I was victimized.”

* First names have been changed for privacy reasons. 

Suggest a correction
"

| Post-Election, | Survivors | Assault | Struggling | Have | Again | After | infamous | recording | President | elect | Donald | Trump | bragging | about | grabbing | women | pussy< | came | Anna* | went | Facebook | page | share | story | high | school | been | raped | boyfriend | that | moment | wanted | people | know | p> “I | didn’t | anyone’s | name | just | said | domestic | violence | sexual | assault | survivor | bothered | much | what | Anna | told | Huffington | Post | “I | this | not< | locker | room | talk | This | happens | happened | ”< | p> After | posting |  Anna | felt | great | heard | from | several | shared | their | stories | helped | connect | them | resources | then | reached | saying | going | same | threatening | accusers | unsettling | parallel | could | quite | wrap | head | around | anxious | election | over | kept | wanting | think | wouldn’t | elected | nation | would | kind | thing | isn’t | Since | Trump’s | tailspin | week | half | couldn’t | sleep | still | hasn’t | really | able | intimate | with | husband | p> “Since | comment | we’ve | only | couple | times | adding | meet | doctor | options | don’t | want | feel | ” < | p> < | div> I | gotten | point | where | taken | power | back | rapist | like | American | telling | more | span> | span>< | blockquote> The | 2016 | presidential | campaign | difficult | many | especially | those | triggered | called | “locker | string | allegations< | he’d | groped | kissed | without | consent | they | even | reminder | everything | they’ve | through | minimizing | left | lives | shambles | p> “It | resurfaced | past | trauma | experienced | seven | years | when | sexually | assaulted | ‘No | ’”< | p> Prior | every | other | having | maybe | once | nothing | When | have | feels | less | enthusiastic | p> “I’m | comfortable | letting | myself | right | p> It | hardly | surprising | reaction | says | Wendy | Maltz | therapist | author | Sexual | Healing | Journey: | Guide | Abuse | em>< | p> “Here | unprecedented | situation | person | identified | perpetrator | elevated | highest | position | country | “For | [people] | who’ve | abused | it’s | huge | shock | p> Trump’s | broader | triggering | effect | well | documented | Soon | after | “grab | pussy” | tape |  RAINN< | a> ― the | nonprofit | runs | National | Hotline | call | traffic | increase | percent< | during | therapists | signed | “manifesto” | detailing | psychological | toll | believed | taking | patients | anxiety | fear | shame | Politico | reports< | works | survivors | abuse | Slate< | she’d | seen | uptick | calling | emergency | counseling | sessions | experiencing | flashbacks | inability | outside | div> When | look | visceral | someone | actually | Jamie* | blockquote> But | behavior | It’s | feeling | Americans | simply | care | enough | experiences | vote | against | aggressor | made | challenging | again | trusted | partners | points | research | found< | “institutional | betrayal” | student | reports | university | fails | provide | backup | exacerbate | leading | further | depression | problems | p> “Those | results | suggest | institutions | cause | additional | harm | form | effects | Women | traumatized | added | They | project | feelings | onto | else | such | partner | himself | p> That’s | exactly | happening | date | p> “When | “It | into | hole | live | four | since | appetite | p> Jamie | understands | course | can’t | shake | violated | some | p> “I’ve | never | looking | stranger | Jamie | hopeful | will | resume | life | soon | thought | seeing | face | worries | Dirty | Muddy | victimized | p> * | First | names | changed | privacy | reasons | strong>< | div> | Suggest | correction< | div> |

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