Cherokee Nation Will Now Recognize Same-Sex Marriage

The Cherokee Nation will now recognize same-sex marriage, according to an opinion issued Friday by the tribe’s attorney general.

Todd Hembree, the tribe’s attorney general, wrote in his opinion:

The right to marry without the freedom to marry the person of one’s choice is no right at all. The history of perpetual partnerships and marriage among Cherokees supports the conclusion that Cherokee citizens have a fundamental right not only to choose a spouse but also, with mutual consent, to join together and form a household irrespective of sexual orientation.

The decision followed a request made by the tribe’s tax commissioner for an official opinion on the issue a few weeks ago.

“We were increasingly being contacted by departments in the Cherokee Nation on how to handle certain issues with same-sex marriage,” Chrissi Nimmo, assistant attorney general of the Cherokee Nation, told The Huffington Post on Friday.

Native American nations are governed by Congress, not the federal courts. So the 2015 Supreme Court decision to recognize gay marriage in all 50 states did not legally affect the Cherokee Nation, but Nimmo said the bulk of Friday’s decision was indeed informed by it.

Hembree’s decision was also influenced by historical Cherokee Nation sexuality narratives. He wrote in Friday’s decision:

Our oral history teaches us also that the Cherokee and Euro-American worldviews differed dramatically regarding appropriate gender roles, marriage, sexuality, and spiritual beliefs. Indeed, while the majority of Cherokees subscribed to the traditional gender roles, evidence suggests a tradition of homosexuality or alternative sexuality among a minority of Cherokees.

“It think it’s a really interesting part of the decision,” Nimmo told HuffPost. “Through historical research, we were able to identify research sources that indicate there was some type of historical recognition of homosexuality.”

Hembree’s opinion nullifies a law the tribe passed 12 years ago called the Cherokee Nation and Family Protection Act, which banned same-sex marriage among tribe members. 

Though same-sex marriage is still illegal in some Native American tribes, like the Navajo Nation, Nimmo believes most tribes don’t take a stance on it either way. 

“I think you will see a mixed reaction [to Friday’s decision] like you do in the American public at large,” Nimmo told HuffPost. “Without a doubt, there will be tribal members and officials who support this and are proud of this, and there will be others ... who don’t like it.”

The Cherokee Nation’s legal recognition of same-sex marriage will take effect immediately. Nimmo said Hembree’s decision is “binding and considered legally valid,” though it can be challenged by other Cherokee officials at any time.

“I don’t really know who would challenge it,” Nimmo added.

Supporters of the decision shared their excitement on social media:

"

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Husband asks Mumsnet for advice on reviving his dwindling sex life

Who would you turn to if you were dissatisfied with your sex life?

One desperate husband asked Mumsnet for advice after he and his wife went from having sex twice a week to just once every six months after starting a family.

But some women were less than sympathetic towards the new father, who asked the mothers' forum how to broach the subject with his wife, with one telling him: 'You're not owed sex just because you want it.'

The man turned to Mumsnet for advice on broaching the subject of more sex with his wife

PseudoDad said he and his wife have only had sex five times since their son was conceived almost two-and-a-half years ago - they used to have sex twice a week

User PseudoDad wrote on the site: 'Since our son was conceived 2 1/2 years ago we have had sex just 5 times. 

'Prior to this, we weren't at it like rabbits but I was very happy with twice a week.'

He said he wanted to broach the subject in a way that respected his 'wonderful' wife of six years, and asked: 'When is enough enough?'

His post received hundreds of replies, with women suggesting he do more housework, consider counselling, or simply 'accept that she might just not be interested right now'.

User AndShes Gone told the man it sounded as though he wasn't listening to his wife

Mumsnet user monkeysox was the first to reply when she asked him whether he was doing enough housework.  

PseudoDad replied to insist he does his share, but another mum told him to 'accept that she might just not be interested right now and you have to grit your teeth until she feels she wants it again.

'You're not owed sex just because you want it,' said BravoPanda. 

Another wrote: 'You're not listening. Sex is an action between 2 people. It's not you "giving her a break" or "waiting" for a year. And your "charm offensive" sounds fake or worse manipulative.'

Things began to cool down when a woman told the father that she could tell he was asking a 'genuine' question and admitted she'd struggle in his situation too

Mumsnet user Boundaries said: 'You can decide the relationship isn't for you, but the way you're talking? I'm not surprised your wife is backing off.' 

But others had a more sympathetic response to his dilemma, with one user writing: 'I can tell you're asking a genuine question and you want this to work out well.'

Ilovetorrentialrain suggested he pursue counselling or sex therapy.  

IcecreamRocks then said that despite not having the answer, they understood how he felt 

Honeylulu agreed the man was getting a 'hard time', adding that 'sex is the glue that binds a relationship together. 

'That intimacy is a form of communication that will not (or should not) be present in any other relationships you have.'  

"

| Husband | asks | Mumsnet | advice | reviving | dwindling | life | would | turn | were | dissatisfied | with | your | p> One | desperate | husband | asked | Mumsnet for | after | wife | went | from | having | twice | week | just | once | every | months | starting | family | p> But | some | women | less | than | sympathetic | towards | father | mothers | forum | broach | subject | telling | him: | Youre | owed | because | want | p> < | p> < | noscript>< | div> The | turned | broaching | more | wife< | div> < | div> PseudoDad | said | have | only | five | times | since | their | conceived | almost | half | years | they | used | week< | div> User | PseudoDad | wrote | site< | Since | p> Prior | this | werent | like | rabbits | very | happy | p> < | div> He | wanted | that | respected | wonderful | asked: | When | enough | p> His | post | received | hundreds | replies | suggesting | housework | consider | counselling | simply | accept | might | interested | right | div> < | AndShes | Gone | told | sounded | though | wasnt | listening | div> Mumsnet | user | monkeysox | first | reply | when | whether | doing |   < | p> PseudoDad | replied | insist | does | share | another | grit | teeth | until | feels | wants | again | p> Youre | BravoPanda | p> Another | wrote: |  Sex | action | between | people | giving | break | waiting | year | charm | offensive | sounds | fake | worse | manipulative | div> Things | began | cool | down | woman | could | tell | asking | genuine | question | admitted | shed | struggle | situation | too< | Bounes | said: | decide | relationship | isnt | youre | talking | surprised | backing | p> But | others | response | dilemma | writing: I | work | well | p> Ilovetorrentialrain | suggested | pursue | therapy | div> IcecreamRocks | then | despite | answer | understood | felt < | div> Honeylulu | agreed | getting | hard | time | adding | glue | binds | together | p> That | intimacy | form | communication | will | should | not) | present | other | relationships | p> |

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Husband asks Mumsnet for advice on reviving his dwindling sex life

Who would you turn to if you were dissatisfied with your sex life?

One desperate husband asked Mumsnet for advice after he and his wife went from having sex twice a week to just once every six months after starting a family.

But some women were less than sympathetic towards the new father, who asked the mothers' forum how to broach the subject with his wife, with one telling him: 'You're not owed sex just because you want it.'

Scroll down for video 

The man turned to Mumsnet for advice on broaching the subject of more sex with his wife

PseudoDad said he and his wife have only had sex five times since their son was conceived almost two-and-a-half years ago - they used to have sex twice a week

User PseudoDad wrote on the site: 'Since our son was conceived 2 1/2 years ago we have had sex just 5 times. 

'Prior to this, we weren't at it like rabbits but I was very happy with twice a week.'

He said he wanted to broach the subject in a way that respected his 'wonderful' wife of six years, and asked: 'When is enough enough?'

His post received hundreds of replies, with women suggesting he do more housework, consider counselling, or simply 'accept that she might just not be interested right now'.

User AndShes Gone told the man it sounded as though he wasn't listening to his wife

Mumsnet user monkeysox was the first to reply when she asked him whether he was doing enough housework.  

PseudoDad replied to insist he does his share, but another mum told him to 'accept that she might just not be interested right now and you have to grit your teeth until she feels she wants it again.

'You're not owed sex just because you want it,' said BravoPanda. 

Another wrote: 'You're not listening. Sex is an action between 2 people. It's not you "giving her a break" or "waiting" for a year. And your "charm offensive" sounds fake or worse manipulative.'

Things began to cool down when a woman told the father that she could tell he was asking a 'genuine' question and admitted she'd struggle in his situation too

Mumsnet user Boundaries said: 'You can decide the relationship isn't for you, but the way you're talking? I'm not surprised your wife is backing off.' 

But others had a more sympathetic response to his dilemma, with one user writing: 'I can tell you're asking a genuine question and you want this to work out well.'

Ilovetorrentialrain suggested he pursue counselling or sex therapy.  

IcecreamRocks then said that despite not having the answer, they understood how he felt 

Honeylulu agreed the man was getting a 'hard time', adding that 'sex is the glue that binds a relationship together. 

'That intimacy is a form of communication that will not (or should not) be present in any other relationships you have.'  

"

| Husband | asks | Mumsnet | advice | reviving | dwindling | life | would | turn | were | dissatisfied | with | your | p> One | desperate | husband | asked | Mumsnet for | after | wife | went | from | having | twice | week | just | once | every | months | starting | family | p> But | some | women | less | than | sympathetic | towards | father | mothers | forum | broach | subject | telling | him: | Youre | owed | because | want | p> Scroll | down | video < | span>< | p> < | p> < | noscript>< | div> The | turned | broaching | more | wife< | div> < | div> PseudoDad | said | have | only | five | times | since | their | conceived | almost | half | years | they | used | week< | div> User | PseudoDad | wrote | site< | Since | p> Prior | this | werent | like | rabbits | very | happy | p> < | div> He | wanted | that | respected | wonderful | asked: | When | enough | p> His | post | received | hundreds | replies | suggesting | housework | consider | counselling | simply | accept | might | interested | right | div> < | AndShes | Gone | told | sounded | though | wasnt | listening | div> Mumsnet | user | monkeysox | first | reply | when | whether | doing |   < | p> PseudoDad | replied | insist | does | share | another | grit | teeth | until | feels | wants | again | p> Youre | BravoPanda | p> Another | wrote: |  Sex | action | between | people | giving | break | waiting | year | charm | offensive | sounds | fake | worse | manipulative | div> Things | began | cool | woman | could | tell | asking | genuine | question | admitted | shed | struggle | situation | too< | Bounes | said: | decide | relationship | isnt | youre | talking | surprised | backing | p> But | others | response | dilemma | writing: I | work | well | p> Ilovetorrentialrain | suggested | pursue | therapy | div> IcecreamRocks | then | despite | answer | understood | felt < | div> Honeylulu | agreed | getting | hard | time | adding | glue | binds | together | p> That | intimacy | form | communication | will | should | not) | present | other | relationships | p> |

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Bad Sex in Fiction Awards ceremony celebrates 24th year

“It’s terribly British, isn’t it,” said the man next to me at last night’s Bad Sex in Fiction Awards ceremony at the (appropriately named) In and Out Club in St James’s. He was referring, of course, to the yearly bash â€" now in its 24th year â€" in which the Literary Review magazine nominates half a dozen passages from contemporary fiction seen to represent sex at its most cringeworthy, reads them out to champagne-infused guffaws, and then awards a prize to the author of the worst.

It is a terribly British event, but it also provides a snarky satisfaction that transcends nationality. Because for anyone with the sneaking suspicion that the sexual act is better done or seen than artistically described â€" that its complex idiosyncrasy is one of the few things that lie outside the remit of the otherwise resourceful English language â€" the Bad Sex Awards hits its mark.

Yet as the entrants this year make clear, writing about sex with flagrant abominableness is still cheerily far from going out of fashion. Hearty examples were a passage from Blue Peter presenter Janet Ellis’s The Butcher’s Hook:

When his hand goes to my breasts, my feet are envious. I slide my hands down his back, all along his spine, rutted with bone like mud ridges in a dry field, to the audacious swell below.

“Audacious swell”? Quite.

Then there was the American Gayle Forman’s entry, from Leave Me:

They were in that room, Jason had slammed the door and devoured her with his mouth, his hands, which were everywhere. As if he were ravenous. And she remembered standing in front of him, her dress a puddle on the floor, and how she’d started to shake, her knees knocking together, like she was a virgin, like this was the first time.

Erri de Luca.
Claudio Onorati/EPA

But the gong went to the Italian poet and translator Erri De Luca for The Day Before Happiness (de Luca understandably wasn’t present). “My prick was a plank stuck to her stomach,” the Neapolitan was justly rebuked for writing:

With a swerve of her hips, she turned me over and I was on top of her … I was her plaything, which she moved around. Our sexes were ready, poised in expectation, barely touching each other: ballet dancers hovering en pointe.

Not everyone felt this deserved the award â€" as an American woman nearby remarked to me, this could clearly be read as satire, plain and simple. Perhaps, but satire doesn’t necessarily get you home dry, especially when it’s ambiguous. After all, the book, a coming of age story, is not particularly comic in the way that, for instance, the early sex-mad tomes of Philip Roth and Martin Amis were.

In fact, the awards were conceived not to discourage writing about sex, but to discourage writing about sex badly. The wording of the original mission statement in 1993 by Auberon Waugh, then editor of the Literary Review, is revealing: the bash was to “draw attention to poorly written, perfunctory or redundant passages of sexual description in modern fiction”.

It would be helpful to have some guidance on what non-redundant, good sex writing looks like, since it’s not entirely clear whether it can exist in a literary form at all. After all, the most sexually charged novels of the last 100 or so years use the rule of thumb that the act is unmentionable, boring, or best only suggested.

The novels of Dickens, Eliot and Trollope are full of sexual yearning, and their emotional and erotic pull are none the worse for the veiled references to kissing and love. Even in 20th century novels with subject matter devoted to romantic entanglements, the sexual act is not necessarily spelled out or even mentioned â€" Iris Murdoch doesn’t go further than “making love” as an account of the nocturnal activities of her highly sexually charged couple Dora and Paul in The Bell (1958).

And while Margaret Drabble’s super-sexy characters Clara and Gabriel get pretty steamy in Jerusalem the Golden, nothing beyond the fact is spelled out. It’s a blessed relief which does nothing to diminish the profoundly saucy atmosphere of the book.

The awards are also a humorous reminder not just of the imaginative power but also of the literary value of discipline and restraint in matters of bonking. A recent book about prime minster Herbert Asquith’s passionate attachment to Venetia Stanley tells of his thousands of letters to her, all passionately headed with variants of “my own darling” and “darlingest”.

Asquith’s desperate fixation with Stanley pours out from every page, but had he indulged in anything more sexually explicit than the desire to “go for a little drive, or will you come to Downing St & have a talk”, it would hardly have helped, and probably only hindered, the accumulated intensity of his fixation. Voluble lusters: take note.

Zoe Strimpel, PhD Candidate, University of Sussex

"

| Fiction | Awards | ceremony | celebrates | 24th | year | “It’s | terribly | British | isn’t | said | next | last | night’s | (appropriately | named) | Club | James’s | referring | course | yearly | bash | which | Literary | Review | magazine | nominates | half | dozen | passages | from | contemporary | fiction | seen | represent | most | cringeworthy | reads | them | champagne | infused | guffaws | then | awards | prize | author | worst | p> It | event | also | provides | snarky | satisfaction | that | transcends | nationality | Because | anyone | with | sneaking | suspicion | sexual | better | done | than | artistically | described | complex | idiosyncrasy | things | outside | remit | otherwise | resourceful | English | language | hits | mark | p> Yet | entrants | this | make | clear | writing | about | flagrant | abominableness | still | cheerily | going | fashion | Hearty | examples | were | passage | Blue | Peter | presenter | Janet | Ellis’s | Butcher’s | Hook< | a>:< | p> When | hand | goes | breasts | feet | envious | slide | hands | down | back | along | spine | rutted | bone | like | ridges | field | audacious | swell | below | p> < | blockquote> “Audacious | swell” | Quite | p> Then | there | American | Gayle | Forman’s | entry | Leave | p> They | room | Jason | slammed | door | devoured | mouth | everywhere | ravenous | remembered | standing | front | dress | puddle | floor | she’d | started | shake | knees | knocking | together | virgin | first | time | blockquote> Erri | Luca | span>Claudio | Onorati | EPA< | span>< | span>But | gong | went | Italian | poet | translator | Erri | Before | Happiness< | understandably | wasn’t | present) | “My | prick | plank | stuck | stomach | Neapolitan | justly | rebuked | writing:< | p> With | swerve | hips | turned | over | plaything | moved | around | sexes | ready | poised | expectation | barely | touching | each | other: | ballet | dancers | hovering | pointe | blockquote> Not | everyone | felt | deserved | award | woman | nearby | remarked | could | clearly | read | satire | plain | simple | Perhaps | doesn’t | necessarily | home | especially | when | it’s | ambiguous | After | book | coming | story | particularly | comic | instance | early | tomes | Philip | Roth | Martin | Amis | p> In | fact | conceived | discourage | badly | wording | original | mission | statement | 1993 | Auberon | Waugh | editor | revealing: | “draw | attention | poorly | written | perfunctory | redundant | description | modern | fiction” | would | helpful | have | some | guidance | what | good | looks | since | entirely | whether | exist | literary | form | sexually | charged | novels | years | rule | thumb | unmentionable | boring | best | only | suggested | p> The | Dickens | Eliot | Trollope | full | yearning | their | emotional | erotic | pull | none | worse | veiled | references | kissing | love | Even | 20th | century | subject | matter | devoted | romantic | entanglements | spelled | even | mentioned | Iris | Murdoch | further | “making | love” | account | nocturnal | activities | highly | couple | Dora | Paul | Bell< | (1958) | p> And | while | Margaret | Drabble’s | super | sexy | characters | Clara | Gabriel | pretty | steamy | Jerusalem | Golden< | nothing | beyond | It’s | blessed | relief | does | diminish | profoundly | saucy | atmosphere | humorous | reminder | just | imaginative | power | value | discipline | restraint | matters | bonking | recent | book< | prime | minster | Herbert | Asquith’s | passionate | attachment | Venetia | Stanley | tells | thousands | letters | passionately | headed | variants | “my | darling” | “darlingest” | p> Asquith’s | desperate | fixation | pours | every | page | indulged | anything | more | explicit | desire | “go | little | drive | will | come | Downing | & | talk” | hardly | helped | probably | hindered | accumulated | intensity | Voluble | lusters: | take | note | p> Zoe | Strimpel< | Candidate | University | Sussex< | em>< | div> < |

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Why a woman's sex drive can be determined by the type of contraceptive pill she using

The type of birth control pill women take can affect how often they want sex, a study has found.

One of the main types of oral contraceptive boosted the sex drive of women who were in committed relationships.

But this effect, seen in women taking pills high in the hormone progestogen, only occurred if they felt highly committed to her partner.

The other main type of pill, high in the hormone oestrogen, had the opposite effect.

Scroll down for video 

A study found that differing levels of synthetic hormones in the pill worked in tandem with how committed a woman feels to her partner to determine how often they had sex 

THE PILL, DEVOTION AND SEX FREQUENCY

The study consisted of two trials, in almost 400 people.

In the first trial, researchers followed 112 women over a 12-week period, asking when they had sex in their cycle and how often.

A second trial quizzed 275 women on their hormonal contraceptive and how often they had sex in the previous week.

Taken together, the findings revealed that the more oestrogen a contraceptive contained, the more sexually active a woman was in a less committed relationship.

But women taking contraceptives with more progesterone were most sexually active when they were more committed to their partner.

The findings add weight to the idea that outside of ovulation, rather than just for pleasure, sex actually helps to strengthen the bond between couples. 

Researchers from the Norwegian University of Science and Technology (NTNU) and the University of New Mexico looked at women in committed relationships taking the pill.

As might be expected, they found that those women who were more committed to their relationship had more sex with their partner.

But the researchers also found a link between the concentrations of hormones in their oral contraception.

‘This association was especially true when the contraceptive that women used had potent levels of synthetic hormones that mimic the effects of the natural hormone progesterone, and lower levels of the hormone oestrogen,’ explained Professor Stephen Gangestad, from the University of New Mexico.

Oral contraceptives deliver differing levels of synthetic hormones based on oestrogen and progesterone to alter a woman’s cycle.

While some types of oral contraceptive will mimic the hormone levels characteristic of ovulation, others will more closely mimic the extended sexual phase ­â€" when a woman is least likely to conceive.

Taken together, the findings revealed that the more oestrogen, the more sexually active a woman was in a less committed relationship. But women taking contraceptives with more progesterone were most sexually active when they were more committed to their partner

HOW MUCH PROGESTOGEN AND OESTROGEN IS IN THE MOST COMMON CONTRACEPTIVE PILLS IN THE UK AND US? 

Pill brand	Progestogen	Oestrogen
Microgynon	150 mcg levonorgestrel	30 mcg ethinylostradiol
Rigevidon	150 mcg levonorgestrel	30 mcg ethinylestradiol
Yasmin	3 mg drospirenone	30 mcg ethinylestradiol
Loestrin 20	1 mcg norethisterone acetate	20 mcg ethinylestradiol
Cerazette	75 mcg desogestrel	Progestogen-only pill
Microgestin	1mg norethindrone acetate	20 mcg ethinylestradiol
Aviane	0.10 mg levonogestrel	20 mcg ethinylestradiol
Loestrin	1.5 mcg norethisterone acetate	20 mcg ethinylestradiol
Mircette	0.15 mg desogestrel	20 mcg ethinylestradiol
Yaz	3 mg drospirenone	20 mcg ethinylestradiol

In one of the trials, researchers followed more than 100 women over a 12-week period, asked when they had sex in their cycle and how often.

A second trial quizzed 275 women on their hormonal contraceptive and how often they had sex in the previous week.

Taken together, the findings revealed that the more oestrogen a contraceptive contained, the more sexually active a woman was in a less committed relationship.

But women taking contraceptives with more progesterone were most sexually active when they were more committed to their partner.

While some types of oral contraceptive will mimic the hormone levels characteristic of ovulation, others will more closely mimic the extended sexual phase ­â€" when a woman is least likely to conceive

‘This strengthens the idea that sex outside the ovulation phase has a function besides just pleasure,’ added Trond Viggo Grøntvedt from NTNU.

He added: ‘Before we did this study, we didn't know how much difference there was between the two types of hormonal contraceptives.’

The results suggest that how often women have sex is linked to how committed they are to their partner.

But the type of hormone most prominent plays a key role, whether produced naturally or synthetically in the form of oral contraceptive.

The findings are published in the journal Evolution and Human Behavior. 

"

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