Husband asks Mumsnet for advice on reviving his dwindling sex life

Who would you turn to if you were dissatisfied with your sex life?

One desperate husband asked Mumsnet for advice after he and his wife went from having sex twice a week to just once every six months after starting a family.

But some women were less than sympathetic towards the new father, who asked the mothers' forum how to broach the subject with his wife, with one telling him: 'You're not owed sex just because you want it.'

The man turned to Mumsnet for advice on broaching the subject of more sex with his wife

PseudoDad said he and his wife have only had sex five times since their son was conceived almost two-and-a-half years ago - they used to have sex twice a week

User PseudoDad wrote on the site: 'Since our son was conceived 2 1/2 years ago we have had sex just 5 times. 

'Prior to this, we weren't at it like rabbits but I was very happy with twice a week.'

He said he wanted to broach the subject in a way that respected his 'wonderful' wife of six years, and asked: 'When is enough enough?'

His post received hundreds of replies, with women suggesting he do more housework, consider counselling, or simply 'accept that she might just not be interested right now'.

User AndShes Gone told the man it sounded as though he wasn't listening to his wife

Mumsnet user monkeysox was the first to reply when she asked him whether he was doing enough housework.  

PseudoDad replied to insist he does his share, but another mum told him to 'accept that she might just not be interested right now and you have to grit your teeth until she feels she wants it again.

'You're not owed sex just because you want it,' said BravoPanda. 

Another wrote: 'You're not listening. Sex is an action between 2 people. It's not you "giving her a break" or "waiting" for a year. And your "charm offensive" sounds fake or worse manipulative.'

Things began to cool down when a woman told the father that she could tell he was asking a 'genuine' question and admitted she'd struggle in his situation too

Mumsnet user Boundaries said: 'You can decide the relationship isn't for you, but the way you're talking? I'm not surprised your wife is backing off.' 

But others had a more sympathetic response to his dilemma, with one user writing: 'I can tell you're asking a genuine question and you want this to work out well.'

Ilovetorrentialrain suggested he pursue counselling or sex therapy.  

IcecreamRocks then said that despite not having the answer, they understood how he felt 

Honeylulu agreed the man was getting a 'hard time', adding that 'sex is the glue that binds a relationship together. 

'That intimacy is a form of communication that will not (or should not) be present in any other relationships you have.'  

"

| Husband | asks | Mumsnet | advice | reviving | dwindling | life | would | turn | were | dissatisfied | with | your | p> One | desperate | husband | asked | Mumsnet for | after | wife | went | from | having | twice | week | just | once | every | months | starting | family | p> But | some | women | less | than | sympathetic | towards | father | mothers | forum | broach | subject | telling | him: | Youre | owed | because | want | p> < | p> < | noscript>< | div> The | turned | broaching | more | wife< | div> < | div> PseudoDad | said | have | only | five | times | since | their | conceived | almost | half | years | they | used | week< | div> User | PseudoDad | wrote | site< | Since | p> Prior | this | werent | like | rabbits | very | happy | p> < | div> He | wanted | that | respected | wonderful | asked: | When | enough | p> His | post | received | hundreds | replies | suggesting | housework | consider | counselling | simply | accept | might | interested | right | div> < | AndShes | Gone | told | sounded | though | wasnt | listening | div> Mumsnet | user | monkeysox | first | reply | when | whether | doing |   < | p> PseudoDad | replied | insist | does | share | another | grit | teeth | until | feels | wants | again | p> Youre | BravoPanda | p> Another | wrote: |  Sex | action | between | people | giving | break | waiting | year | charm | offensive | sounds | fake | worse | manipulative | div> Things | began | cool | down | woman | could | tell | asking | genuine | question | admitted | shed | struggle | situation | too< | Bounes | said: | decide | relationship | isnt | youre | talking | surprised | backing | p> But | others | response | dilemma | writing: I | work | well | p> Ilovetorrentialrain | suggested | pursue | therapy | div> IcecreamRocks | then | despite | answer | understood | felt < | div> Honeylulu | agreed | getting | hard | time | adding | glue | binds | together | p> That | intimacy | form | communication | will | should | not) | present | other | relationships | p> |

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Husband asks Mumsnet for advice on reviving his dwindling sex life

Who would you turn to if you were dissatisfied with your sex life?

One desperate husband asked Mumsnet for advice after he and his wife went from having sex twice a week to just once every six months after starting a family.

But some women were less than sympathetic towards the new father, who asked the mothers' forum how to broach the subject with his wife, with one telling him: 'You're not owed sex just because you want it.'

Scroll down for video 

The man turned to Mumsnet for advice on broaching the subject of more sex with his wife

PseudoDad said he and his wife have only had sex five times since their son was conceived almost two-and-a-half years ago - they used to have sex twice a week

User PseudoDad wrote on the site: 'Since our son was conceived 2 1/2 years ago we have had sex just 5 times. 

'Prior to this, we weren't at it like rabbits but I was very happy with twice a week.'

He said he wanted to broach the subject in a way that respected his 'wonderful' wife of six years, and asked: 'When is enough enough?'

His post received hundreds of replies, with women suggesting he do more housework, consider counselling, or simply 'accept that she might just not be interested right now'.

User AndShes Gone told the man it sounded as though he wasn't listening to his wife

Mumsnet user monkeysox was the first to reply when she asked him whether he was doing enough housework.  

PseudoDad replied to insist he does his share, but another mum told him to 'accept that she might just not be interested right now and you have to grit your teeth until she feels she wants it again.

'You're not owed sex just because you want it,' said BravoPanda. 

Another wrote: 'You're not listening. Sex is an action between 2 people. It's not you "giving her a break" or "waiting" for a year. And your "charm offensive" sounds fake or worse manipulative.'

Things began to cool down when a woman told the father that she could tell he was asking a 'genuine' question and admitted she'd struggle in his situation too

Mumsnet user Boundaries said: 'You can decide the relationship isn't for you, but the way you're talking? I'm not surprised your wife is backing off.' 

But others had a more sympathetic response to his dilemma, with one user writing: 'I can tell you're asking a genuine question and you want this to work out well.'

Ilovetorrentialrain suggested he pursue counselling or sex therapy.  

IcecreamRocks then said that despite not having the answer, they understood how he felt 

Honeylulu agreed the man was getting a 'hard time', adding that 'sex is the glue that binds a relationship together. 

'That intimacy is a form of communication that will not (or should not) be present in any other relationships you have.'  

"

| Husband | asks | Mumsnet | advice | reviving | dwindling | life | would | turn | were | dissatisfied | with | your | p> One | desperate | husband | asked | Mumsnet for | after | wife | went | from | having | twice | week | just | once | every | months | starting | family | p> But | some | women | less | than | sympathetic | towards | father | mothers | forum | broach | subject | telling | him: | Youre | owed | because | want | p> Scroll | down | video < | span>< | p> < | p> < | noscript>< | div> The | turned | broaching | more | wife< | div> < | div> PseudoDad | said | have | only | five | times | since | their | conceived | almost | half | years | they | used | week< | div> User | PseudoDad | wrote | site< | Since | p> Prior | this | werent | like | rabbits | very | happy | p> < | div> He | wanted | that | respected | wonderful | asked: | When | enough | p> His | post | received | hundreds | replies | suggesting | housework | consider | counselling | simply | accept | might | interested | right | div> < | AndShes | Gone | told | sounded | though | wasnt | listening | div> Mumsnet | user | monkeysox | first | reply | when | whether | doing |   < | p> PseudoDad | replied | insist | does | share | another | grit | teeth | until | feels | wants | again | p> Youre | BravoPanda | p> Another | wrote: |  Sex | action | between | people | giving | break | waiting | year | charm | offensive | sounds | fake | worse | manipulative | div> Things | began | cool | woman | could | tell | asking | genuine | question | admitted | shed | struggle | situation | too< | Bounes | said: | decide | relationship | isnt | youre | talking | surprised | backing | p> But | others | response | dilemma | writing: I | work | well | p> Ilovetorrentialrain | suggested | pursue | therapy | div> IcecreamRocks | then | despite | answer | understood | felt < | div> Honeylulu | agreed | getting | hard | time | adding | glue | binds | together | p> That | intimacy | form | communication | will | should | not) | present | other | relationships | p> |

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Yorktown pastor accused of sex with teen

Terry Dobbs(Photo: Photo provided)

MUNCIE, Ind. â€" The pastor of a Yorktown church was being held in the Delaware County jail on Friday, accused of having sex with a 15-year-old member of his congregation.

Terry Wayne Dobbs, 53 â€" pastor at Old Fashion United Baptist Church, 9211 W. Arch St. â€" was arrested Thursday evening, preliminarily charged with sexual misconduct with a minor, vicarious sexual gratification, child exploitation and child solicitation.

The pastor’s bond was set at $35,000.

According to an affidavit, Yorktown police learned from authorities in Allen County on Dec. 2 that a 15-year-old girl had disclosed she was involved in a sexual relationship with her minister.

A Yorktown officer interviewed the girl Thursday. She said she began counseling with Dobbs about personal problems in July.

According to the report, the pastor “started out very slowly with talking about kissing her.”

Authorities allege Dobbs and the girl eventually began fondling each other at the church, and later had sex there three times.

The alleged victim also said she and the minister had exchanged nude photos via cellphones and computers.

Dobbs, of the 6900 block of West Bethel Avenue, was also interviewed on Thursday, and gave a “full confession,” police reported.

Courts records reflect no prior charges against Dobbs.

Contact news reporter Douglas Walker at (765) 213-5851. Follow him on Twitter: @DouglasWalkerSP.

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"

| Yorktown | pastor | accused | with | teen | div> Terry | Dobbs< | span>(Photo: | Photo | provided)< | span>< | p> < | div> MUNCIE | church | being | held | Delaware | County | jail | Friday | having | sex with | year | member | congregation | p> Terry | Wayne | Dobbs | Fashion | United | Baptist | Church | 9211 | Arch | arrested | Thursday | evening | preliminarily | charged | sexual | misconduct | minor | vicarious | gratification | child | exploitation | solicitation | p> The | pastor’s | bond | p> According | affidavit | police | learned | from | authorities | Allen | that | girl | disclosed | involved | relationship | minister | p> A | officer | interviewed | said | began | counseling | about | personal | problems | July | report | “started | very | slowly | talking | kissing | ”< | p> Authorities | allege | eventually | fondling | each | other | later | there | three | times | alleged | victim | also | exchanged | nude | photos | cellphones | computers | p> Dobbs | 6900 | block | West | Bethel | Avenue | gave | “full | confession | reported | p> Courts | records | reflect | prior | charges | against | p> Contact | news | reporter | Douglas | Walker | (765) | 5851 | Follow | Twitter: | @DouglasWalkerSP | em>< | p> Read | Share | this | story: | http: | tspne | 2htHldg< | div> |

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Four Oakland police officers fired in wake of sex scandal

Story highlights

• Four officers fired, seven suspended for involvement in sex scandal
• Probe began after suicide of officer accused of having sex with underage prostitute

An additional seven officers were suspended without pay, and another is receiving counseling, according to CNN affiliate KRON4.

The four Oakland Police Department officers who were terminated also face charges of attempted sexual assault, lewd conduct in public, assisting in the crime of prostitution, being untruthful to investigators, and failing to report a violation of law for not disclosing that a minor had sexual contact with police.

The seven suspended officers are accused of accessing a law enforcement database for personal gain, failing to report a violation of the law, and bringing disrepute to the department.

Schaaf said at the press conference that the firings and suspensions send "a loud and clear message that we hold our officers to nothing but the highest standards of professionalism and integrity."

Sex, suicide and failure to report: How Oakland police scandal unfolded

Disturbing allegations

The punishments bring some resolution to the scandal that began last fall with the suicide of OPD officer Brendan O'Brien. Officials say an investigation into his death uncovered disturbing allegations.

An 18-year-old former prostitute alleged she had sex with O'Brien, as well as with a number of other officers from the department and officers from nearby jurisdictions.

The young woman, who goes by the pseudonym Celeste Guap, said it all started when she was 17 years old and became romantically involved with O'Brien, who she credits with saving her from a dangerous pimp.

"He saved me when I was 17," Guap told CNN in a phone conversation. "Instead of taking me to jail, we just kind of started something there, you know."

O'Brian, she said, later introduced her to other officers who became customers.

As the investigation widened, other officers became embroiled in the scandal. Ultimately, four police chiefs resigned and 28 officers across five departments were alleged to have had sexual contact with Guap.

Officers reassigned over Bay Area police sex scandal

Multiple relationships

Some of the officers paid to have sex, Guap said. Others exchanged confidential information, such as tipping her off about prostitution stings, for sexual favors.

Of the 28 officers, Guap said 14 were from the Oakland Police Department. The others included five Richmond police officers, several Alameda County Sherriff's deputies, a Livermore police officer and a Contra Costa County Sheriff's deputy.

The Oakland Police Department is no stranger to scandal. Since 2003 a federal monitor has been in place to ensure the department complies with a negotiated settlement agreement stemming from a police corruption scandal.

Officers had been accused of planting evidence and assaulting suspects. No accused officers were ever convicted, but one officer fled prosecution and to this day remains at large. The city paid out more than $10 million to more than 100 plaintiffs and agreed to make reforms, eventually ending up under federal monitoring.

Wednesday's announcements were "about making department-wide changes," Schaaf said.

"We see you, we are here for you, we are here to help you," she added, addressing victims of sexual abuse in the city.

"

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Ex-New Berlin teacher sent to prison for sex with student

Sara M. Domres(Photo: Waukesha County Sheriff's Office)

Waukesha â€" A former New Berlin West High School teacher who had sex with one of her students was sentenced Wednesday to two years in prison.

Sara M. Domres, 29, pleaded guilty in August to two counts of sexual assault of a student by school staff, charges filed in April over incidents in 2015. She cried and hung her head as she was led from court in handcuffs.

The prosecutor noted that had Domres not been a teacher, her more than a dozen sexual encounters with the boy, who was 16 and 17 during the time, would have been misdemeanors. But because of the great trust placed in teachers, and their potential influence on students, the crime is a felony.

"I don't know how much brighter the line could be," Assistant District Attorney Ted Szczupakiewicz said. "There's no gray area. It's an absolute."

In her statement to Waukesha County Circuit Judge Lee S. Dreyfus Jr., Domres spoke of her love of the teaching profession and the extra hours she spent acting as a listener and counselor to students. Because of losing that profession, and extensive media coverage, she said she felt "the consequences of my actions have been enforced ten-fold."

But neither she nor her sister, father and mother-in-law who all spoke on her behalf hinted at what spurred her relationship with the victim, whose family did not appear or submit any impact statement.

Dreyfus told Domres her crime went "well beyond a mistake in judgment" or a single moment of weakness. "It was to meet your needs, and not those of a child," he said.

He imposed the two years plus three years of extended supervision on one count. On the second count he imposed two years in prison plus two years of supervision but suspended the sentence in favor of three years of probation.

The more intrusive sex offender probation wouldn't start for five years, and if Domres violated conditions, she could be returned to prison on the second count.

The conditions include having no contact with the victim or his family, or with any school besides those she may attend.

Domres, who has no prior criminal record or police contacts, also must register as a sex offender.

The student said he had been in Domres' English class as a sophomore in the 2014-'15 school year, became friends with Domres and began texting her frequently. Between April 2015 and January 2016 the two exchanged more than 1,100 messages.

That led to an incident of sexual intercourse in Domres' car at a park-and-ride lot on Moorland Road in New Berlin in July 2015, when the boy was 16. Then in October, after he had turned 17, he had sex with Domres at a Motel 6 in Brookfield, the boy told investigators. They found evidence that the boy's phone had been connected to the motel's WiFi on the same date the motel records showed Domres had reserved a room with a single bed and paid in cash.

Domres married her high school sweetheart in August 2015.

Last week, a Milwaukee County judge sentenced another former teacher to two years in prison for her sexual relationship with a teenage boy. Elizabeth Dillett, 31, taught kindergarten and coached at St. Peter Immanuel School, 7801 W. Acacia St. in Milwaukee. The victim was a former St. Peter student, whom she knew through friendship with his mother. He was in high school when they began the sexual relationship.

In December 2015, April M. Novak, 30, of Sussex, a former Menomonee Falls School District teacher, was charged with 12 counts of sexually assaulting a 16-year-old student. Her case is pending.

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"

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