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Sunday, February 10, 2013

What does it mean to love someone unconditionally? Is it better to be loved unconditionally?

12:19 PM Bilal Muazin No comments

Q. If a person is loved regardless of their actions, beliefs, attributes, and conditions, can that love not simply have gone to someone different? Is it not a greater honor to be loved for who you are? Is it better to have your love at risk than to love, unconditionally, recklessly, and randomly?

A. I love my boyfriend unconditionally. That means: I love him for who he is and the decisions he makes, the things he does, how he grows and who he becomes. It doesn't mean I can love anyone. It means I love him and respect his views, his attributes and personality. Unconditionally means I wont walk out on him for dumb reasons. It means I'll listen to what he says and if we have problems I'll try to work it out. It means I won't hurt him or hurt his feelings. It means i won't leave him for any dumb reason. It means I dont want to leave him. It means I can tell him anything and listen to anything he says. It means he's the love of my life, my soulmate and I'll stick with him no matter what. It means he's an amazing little dude and I know him well enough to know I dont want to love anyone else but him :)

Original Question

How has your love for others made you a better person?

Q. Some people can pick and choose who they love; they seek a balance or a rewarding experience for both paties.
Some people appear to express agape; they try to love everybody in some way, though that's often impossible.
Some people are narcissistic; they cannot love anyone as much as they love themselves.

In what way(s) has your love for others (or lack of it) given you a sense of self-worth?

A. My love for others has helped me get through life. I can't hate people for some reason. I just wasn't made to hate them I guess. It helps me get through life letting people know I love them and care. I don't think it is impossible to love everyone in some way. I'm pretty sure I can love everyone in some way.

My dad which has never been there for him I love him more than ever, because I found out that my mother kept me away from him which I love her as well, because she raised me right. She has taken my daughter from me, but I still love her. Okay if you knew every person in my life you could ask me why I love every one of them.

Original Question

How has your love for others made you a better person?

A. One of the biggest things that loving others has taught me was a sense of selflessness. Just like when you love your job or an activity you put everything into and you go really hard the whole time. For me that same thing happens when I truly love someone. I am totally selfless and I put my all into a person so that I can have the best outcome possible. Having different experiences where I step outside of the usually selfish person that I am and I am able to give more than I usually do has allowed me to see how much I can do and all that I can attain if I am dedicated and devoted to something or someone.

Original Question

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Monday, April 29, 2013

How has your love for others made you a better person?

4:46 AM Bilal Muazin No comments

Original Question

How has your love for others made you a better person?

Original Question

What's the difference between loving your boyfriend but not being in love with your boyfriend?

Q. I know you can love your family and friends but not in a "couple' way. But how can you know when you actually love your husband/boyfriend, but not really inlove with him?

Should you marry someone if you love them but not in love with them? Can it work?

A. I wouldn't marry someone if I loved them in a brotherly way. Marriage is a sacred thing and if the person doesn't feel right then don't go through with it. If you were in love with someone, it could def. come back again if you work at it.

Original Question

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Thursday, December 8, 2016

The child sex trade is booming in this Kenyan port city

10:30 AM Bilal Muazin No comments

Inside a tiny houseÂ outside the city of Mombasa on the Indian Ocean coast of Kenya, 11-year-old Sabina sits on a bed, one of her breasts exposed, a 2-year-old on her back.

With an effortless click, the girl shoots a jet of saliva through the gap between her two front teeth. It lands on the floor. Then she begins to talk as she shifts the toddler from her back to her bosom.

â€œThe father of this child is a German tourist,â€ she said. â€œHe impregnated me and left the country after his vacation. I was forced to drop out of school and take care of the child.â€

Sabina is one among many children in this coastal region who have become mothers at too young an age. She and other girls, as well as underage boys, have left school to cater to men and women who pay them for sex.

And the market is booming: Child sex tourism has remained rampant in Mombasa, a port city, despite a spate of terror attacks in the past three years that have scared away package vacationers, crippling a vital tourism sector that contributes about 10 percent to Kenyaâ€™s gross domestic product.

European travelers especially have continued to fuel the trade. Many come to the city in search of girls aged between 12 and 18. The industry has made Kenya one of the world's hubs for child sex tourism, researchers say.

â€œWe always believe that white men have money, so when they come here we hope that they will get us out of poverty,â€ said Sabina. â€œThey give us a lot of money and sleep with us. We use the money to pay rent for our parents and buy food.â€

Trace Kenya, a local nonprofitÂ group that works with the United Nations to battle child trafficking, estimates there could be as many as 100,000 child sex workers in Mombasa. The trade extends up and down the coast to the seaside resort towns of Malindi and Diani, according to the NGO.

In a 2010 report â€" the most recent available â€" UNICEF released numbers on child trafficking in Kenya that revealed that almost a third of girls age 12 and younger in the Mombasa region were involved in prostitution. European men comprise half of the clients, the report said.

Sex tourism has been blamed in Kenya for increasing rates of school dropouts, poverty and illiteracy as school-age children skip class in pursuit of easy money. At the same time, poverty is the main driver behind child sex tourism, say experts. Some parents even urge their children to become involved.

Emily, a 16-year-old orphan, said she was forced into the business due to poverty and peer pressure. Her aunt encouraged her to engage in sex with white men to help pay family expenses. Emily is now infected with HIV.

â€œI have slept with different men, especially whites from Germany, Italy and the USA,â€ she said. â€œI regret it but I had no option [at] that time. I started the business at age 10, when a friend connected me to an Italian tourist who had visited the country for three months. I had nothing to eat and nowhere to sleep.â€

Teenage boys and 20-something Kenyan men known as "beach boys" also hook up with older white women, usually Western tourists who have flown here specifically for sexual encounters.

Against a backdrop of dazzlingly white sand and the aquamarine sea at Jomo Kenyatta Public Beach, foreign women sip cocktails under bamboo shades. Young men approach them with compliments designed to break the ice.

â€œThis is our work,â€ said Alex Mwalumba, a beach boy who said heâ€™s 29 but looks much younger. â€œItâ€™s very simple to lure a white woman. First, know the language she speaks. Secondly, tell her she is the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. For the first time in years, she truly believes she is desirable.â€

Mwalumba had few regrets.

â€œThe money will begin to flow,â€ he said, referring to payments once a temporary relationship has begun. â€œSome [beach boys] have used the opportunity to build good houses and start businesses.â€

But he warned that business sometimes can be risky.

â€œSome tourists end up either being robbed or murdered by beach boys in pursuit for money,â€ he noted. â€œBeach boys are not after love. They are after money. They sometime trick tourists to go to the room and rob them.â€

Paul Adhoch, who heads child rights organization Trace Kenya, said prostitution has led to an increase in unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases among teenagers in Mombasa. It has also broken up families in the city, he said.

Trace Kenya is working to rescue girls from the sex trade and to end the practice in the Mombasa region. The NGO has rescued more than 10,000 children in the last seven years, putting them in shelters and making other arrangements for them to earn a living.

â€œWe have rescued many children involved in sex tourism or those who were potentially likely to fall into it, more girls â€" for young men the number has been lower,â€ he said. â€œThe police have done little to fight the vice. They have given tourists impunity despite having evidence against them.â€

But Regional Police Chief Nelson Marwa says the government has done a lot to battle the practice, including warning tourists and parents against being involved in the business.

â€œWe have put in place laws that will deal with such acts,â€ Marwa said. â€œAlready we have arrested and charged parents, children and some tourists. We will also close all hotels that allow young girls and old tourists to check in together, and their licenses will be canceled.â€

The real problem, Adhoch believes, is culture.

â€œThere is a culture among parents and children that when you get yourself a white man, then you have gotten yourself out of poverty,â€ said Adhoch. â€œTourists always take this advantage and will come here deliberately for that.â€

But Sabina, who is still struggling to come to terms with her HIV-positive status, wants the government to do more to help girls in the local sex industry.

â€œThe government should curb the practice by arresting tourists whose aim is to engage in sex with children and dump them afterward,â€ she said. â€œThey are creating more poverty for young people here like me.â€

Editor's note: The last names of children interviewed for this story have been withheld to protect their identities. Tonny Onyulo reported from Mombasa, Kenya.

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Monday, August 26, 2013

God says marriage is forever and the only cause for divorce is?

2:17 AM Bilal Muazin No comments

Q. in the bible what are the only reasonable things that can cause a marriage to end. what makes divorce okay... cheating? emotional abuse? physical abuse? nothing? and if cheating is a good enough reason for divorce what qualifies as cheating? sex? kissing? date and holding hands? chatting with other women on dating websites and claiming that you are single and looking for someone to start a family with? i need to know what the bible says please

A. There are many causes for divorce; abuse, committing adultery, etc...

"What qualifies as cheating?"

Jesus says that if a man looks upon a woman with lust than he has committed adultery with her in his heart. So cheating is the mere desire/lusting for any woman other than your wife.

When a man and woman divorce, though, they cannot remarry - unless one of them have died. Jesus, I can't remember where at this exact moment, condemned the pharisees for divorcing their wives and making adulterers out of them (because the only way a woman could survive in that culture is if they were either daughters or wives - and therefore would have to remarry if their husband divorced them)... I THINK that in some instances, like this one, one spouse may carry more blame than the other if there is divorce.

Original Question

How come a woman's unfaithful excuse is more socially forgiving than a man?

Q. A man cheats for sex and woman cheats for love. Is that why?
A man cheats, "hes a dog" pass it on. A woman cheats, nobody cares.

A. That's easy. Women are not accountable for their actions.

Original Question

What should I say when confronting my boyfriend about cheating?

Q. I am planning on having a conversation with my boyfriend tomorrow about him possibly cheating on me, not cheating like sex, but having mental emotional contact with another woman. I have found a few things I believe could mean he is and am worried he will take things further. I love him very much and I just don't know how to approach this. My communication skills aren't the greatest.

A. Oh...I'm sorry to hear that. I've been there, and it's so painful. I would just start out with letting him know you want to take some time to have a talk with him. When you talk to him, don't try to sound accusitory, or hostile, because that will shut him down and you won't get the answers you need. Just tell him that you care about him, but you have reason to believe he might have feelings for another girl. Tell him why you have some of those suspicions. Let him know that you don't hate him, but you want to know the truth, because you and he need to make some decisions about how to move on from here. Tell him that you're going to trust his answer, and that if he tells you he doesn't have feelings for her, that you are going to give him the benefit of the doubt. If he admits he DOES have feelings for her, then you need to find out from him what his intentions are --if he wants his freedom to pursue those feelings, or if he wants to try to work things out with you. If he says he wants to work things out with you, then you need to start laying down some ground rules. He needs to stay away from this person. That means no contact that isn't absolutely necessary. (ex: if he works with her.) If he indicates that he might want to pursue something with her, or says that he's not sure what he wants to do, then I would consider ending the relationship. Trust me, there is nothing more painful than trying to be in a relationship with a man that is hung up on another woman. And you NEVER win in that situation. Best wishes to you--I hope things turn out for the best for you.

Original Question

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Friday, February 2, 2018

Upscale Lingerie Store Employee Reveals What Her Job Was Like, And Some Of Her Stories Will Surprise You | Bored Panda

11:00 AM Bilal Muazin No comments

Upscale Lingerie Store Employee Reveals What Her Job Was Like, And Some Of Her Stories Will Surprise You

Every workplace has its own rules, but have you thought about what the inner workings of a fancy lingerie store are? It seems that there are only so many people who have experienced it from the inside, surrounding the place with a mysterious aura. Somebodysmama has decided to tell what really goes down behind closed lingerie shop doors, and their stories sound like a collection of hilariously intimate journal entries.

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“My first job out of high school was at an upscale lingerie store,” they said. “Working [there] was different than I expected.” All in all, they call the experience as a “fun” one. Till it lasted. “I was fired for lates. I was 18 and an idiot, trying to juggle school and work. I wish it had been for something funny.” Scroll down to check out what the bra slinger went through!
“My first job out of high school was at an upscale lingerie store. Here are some of my stories”

“It was a shock that people were permitted to try the undergarments in their bare flesh. Even thongs (which we all know go up where the poopoo comes out) were permitted.”
“Because of this strange and gross practice, we were allowed to “damage out” questionable items once a client left
It was usually a “code brown”, but there are other colors ladies can leave in things (because ladies can be grooooooss)”

“A coworker once screamed “code brown” on the sales floor and I ran to find her pointing at a bulging pair of hanging panties. Stains are one thing, but chunks? I grabbed the trash can, intending to drop it in (hanger and all) and then I saw the gold-flake wrapper and laughed. It was chocolate. A kid had obviously chewed and then spit a whole bar into the crotch of expensive, lacy underwear. Gross, but I don’t blame him. Our chocolate was nasty.”
“It’s widely understood that most women are wearing the wrong size bra, but it was frustrating to discover what boobs look like in a fitting bra. That voluptuous curve of a barely concealed breast peaking over a cup in a lingerie ad is achieved with under-padding in a too-small bra. Convincing women they will not look like that if their bras are comfortable (and still making a sale) took finesse. I’d usually convince them to just buy something skimpy that made them feel amazing for when they took off their all-day boob gear.”
“I was not prepared for how many grieving people would come in to purchase final nightgowns for their beloved mother/wife/sister or daughter for burial. It was often enough that we had an unmarked section of modest nightgowns we curated just for that purpose.”
“My best customer was a man. I would hold one extra-large item of every new style that arrived for him, and he would buy every item he tried on. I say he was my customer, because I was the only one that would let him use the changing room :( it was a less kind time for men like him”
“My second best customer was a “homeless” woman. She was a world-class panhandler, and would often come in wearing her raggedy street attire, but this lady made BANK. Under that grungy coat and tattered sweater she wore our most expensive bras. Things I couldn’t afford.”
“Don’t laugh, but I was shocked by all the boobs. So. Many. Boobs. We had a professional tone and environment that put women at ease like they were getting a spa day, so it was normal for them to flop them out as I was closing the changing room door behind us. The first bridal party I served all crammed together with little me and just disrobed left and right. I ended up in a sea of boobs that all wanted measuring. I was rattled. I eventually became boob blind, but the first few months it always gave me pause when a lady was staring at me with her googly chest eyeballs.”
“So… deodorant. If you want another human to put their face near your cleavage and measure your rib cage, consider some deodorant. And a shower, maybe. Or, if you live that stank life, at least buy something.
It was fun. I was sad when I got fired.
Edit to add: I was fired for lates. I was 18 and an idiot trying to juggle school and work. I wish it had been for something funny.”

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Monday, January 7, 2013

How does one avoid sex when starting off a long term relationship?

12:56 PM Bilal Muazin No comments

Q. I have a boyfriend. He likes sex and I like sex. However, we want the relationship to be long term and if we engage in sex I have a fear that things will be different between us.

A. Speaking as a man, I will tell you that you are very smart to not "give it up" so easily. If you want a man to really, really love you, portraying yourself as "easy" almost certainly guarantees that any good man will pass over you, and the men who are interested in you would just be interested for the sex. When they reach the point in their life where they want a real girlfriend, or to think about getting married, it won't be with you.

In fact, when I was single, my biggest concern was not to meet a woman, but to NOT meet a sh*tty woman. When I did meet a woman that I was interested in, I always asked the all-important questions, such as what they did for a living, what their goals were, what they like to do for fun, and if they had any children. If I didn't like what I heard, then goodbye. Also, there were women that I met, and they wanted to "hook up" that same night, or women that I dated a few times, and they already wanted sex. And of course I said no way (and did not have sex with them).

Screening out all the losers worked very well for me, because I did not have a "real" girlfriend until I was 27 years old, and now I am 30 and we are married, and I am much happier than my friends and co-workers who had many girlfriends and years (decades?) of casual sex.

One of the reasons why I love my wife so much, and decided to get married with her is because when we were boyfriend and girlfriend, we did everything in steps, to make sure we really love each other. After we were together for more than 4 months and knew that we really loved each other, then we started to have a sexual relationship.

So in summary, don't be "easy", or else the man will never take you seriously. Especially if he is a man that has been with many women in his lifetime.

Original Question

How soon after having sex will you start to get morning sickness?

Q. Yesterday, I had unprotected sex and today I threw up without feeling sick like, at all. I'm just wondering, is it possible that this is morning sickness? or is it too soon after sex to be morning sickness?

A. Morning sickness generally doesn't set in until you are between 7-9 weeks pregnant... Some get it sooner, some get it later, some never get it at all, but on average, it takes quite some time before you get the classic pregnancy symptoms such as morning sickness.

It's not possible for you to have any symptoms if you just had sex yesterday b/c you're not even pregnant yet. It takes 2-3 days for the sperm to even FIND the egg and then 6-12 days for the egg to implant into the uterus and start producing the hormones that cause symptoms.

So you're just stressing out for no reason.

Original Question

How many days should I have sex after a positive ovulation test?

Q. Hello,
I had sex on 7/12. I got a positive ovulation test on 7/13. We had sex on 7/13 and 7/14 and will have sex today. Do you think that I have a good chance?

A. Sounds like you have timed it all very well.
If this cycle isn't successful then next month you can try and just have sex every second day and not test for Ovulation so you never feel 'pressured' while your TTC.

Having sex everyday does make the sperm not as strong for the long journey they have ahead of them to the F/T. Males produce more sperm everytime they ejaculate. They should ideally have about 36hours to let the sperm grow big and strong for the journey so sometimes it is better to have sex every 48 hours not every 24 hours. Because you want the sperm to be as strong as possible so you have a better chance of getting pregnant.

Original Question

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Friday, December 9, 2016

Uber to riders: No sex, and leave your guns at home

12:30 PM Bilal Muazin No comments

By Patrick May,Â The Mercury News

The inside of an Uber vehicle, that â€third placeâ€ that so many of us often find ourselves these days, should also be a safe place, a clean place, a happy place.

Or so says Uber, which this weekÂ issued a set of â€œUber Community Guidelinesâ€ Â to keep both riders and drivers on their best behavior.

As the San Francisco-based ride-sharing giant puts it in its press release, â€œWe want Uber to be enjoyable and safe for everyone. These ground rules are designed to ensure that riders and drivers have a five star ride when using Uber.â€

Letâ€™s have a look, shall we?

For starters, Uber wants us all to know that sex during a ride is a big no-no. Even flirting is prohibited between the rider and their driver or fellow passengers. (So, yes, group sex is out.) And donâ€™t even think about calling your driver after the ride on their personal cell number and trying to set up a date. In its guidelines, Uber stresses that it has a â€no sex ruleâ€ and, just to make sure all you sex-in-public aficionados get the memo, it repeats â€œno sexâ€ over and over like some Victorian Age mantra.

And Â while youâ€™re sitting in the back seat not having sex with anyone else in the car, you should also not vomit.

To be specific, Uberâ€™s guidelines ban â€œvomiting due to excessive alcohol consumption,â€ so you could read that to mean that a flu-induced mishap wouldnâ€™t necessarily get you banned forever from an Uber vehicle. But do try and avoid it anyway.

â€œMost riders show drivers the respect they deserve,â€ the company said. â€œBut some donâ€™t â€" whether itâ€™s leaving trash in the car, throwing up in the back seat after too much alcohol or asking a driver to break the speed limit so they can get to their appointment on time. This kind of poor behavior is not OK.â€

In the interest of time, weâ€™ve condensed for you some of the other things Uber would like you not to do while in their care:

â€¢ Donâ€™t touch other passengers.

â€¢ Donâ€™t touch the driver.

â€¢ Donâ€™t keep the driver waiting.

â€¢ Donâ€™t swear.

â€¢ Donâ€™t slam the car door.

â€¢ Donâ€™t spill your Starbucks Grande, Iced, Sugar-Free, Vanilla Latte with Soy Milk and then not clean it up.

â€¢ Donâ€™t look at people suspiciously if theyâ€™re not like you.

â€¢ Donâ€™t comment on other ridersâ€™ appearances.

â€¢ Donâ€™t ask your fellow rider if he/she is single.

â€¢ Donâ€™t raise your voice.

â€¢ And last but not least, donâ€™t bring your firearm with you on an Uber ride.

Outside of that, have a nice ride.

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Thursday, December 8, 2016

Why a woman's sex drive can be determined by the type of contraceptive pill she using

1:00 PM Bilal Muazin No comments

The type of birth control pill women take can affect how often they want sex, a study has found.

One of the main types of oral contraceptive boosted the sex drive of women who were in committed relationships.

But this effect, seen in women taking pills high in the hormone progestogen, only occurred if they felt highly committed to her partner.

The other main type of pill, high in the hormone oestrogen, had the opposite effect.

Scroll down for videoÂ

A study found that differing levels of synthetic hormones in the pill worked in tandem with how committed a woman feels to her partner to determine how often they had sexÂ

THE PILL, DEVOTION AND SEX FREQUENCY

The study consisted of two trials, in almost 400 people.

In the first trial, researchers followed 112 women over a 12-week period, asking when they had sex in their cycle and how often.

A second trial quizzed 275 women on their hormonal contraceptive and how often they had sex in the previous week.

Taken together, the findings revealed that the more oestrogen a contraceptive contained, the more sexually active a woman was in a less committed relationship.

But women taking contraceptives with more progesterone were most sexually active when they were more committed to their partner.

The findings add weight to the idea that outside of ovulation, rather than just for pleasure, sex actually helps to strengthen the bond between couples.Â

Researchers from the Norwegian University of Science and Technology (NTNU) and the University of New Mexico looked at women in committed relationships taking the pill.

As might be expected, they found that those women who were more committed to their relationship had more sex with their partner.

But the researchers also found a link between the concentrations of hormones in their oral contraception.

â€˜This association was especially true when the contraceptive that women used had potent levels of synthetic hormones that mimic the effects of the natural hormone progesterone, and lower levels of the hormone oestrogen,â€™ explained Professor Stephen Gangestad, from the University of New Mexico.

Oral contraceptives deliver differing levels of synthetic hormones based on oestrogen and progesterone to alter a womanâ€™s cycle.

While some types of oral contraceptive will mimic the hormone levels characteristic of ovulation, others will more closely mimic the extended sexual phase Ââ€" when a woman is least likely to conceive.

Taken together, the findings revealed that the more oestrogen, the more sexually active a woman was in a less committed relationship. But women taking contraceptives with more progesterone were most sexually active when they were more committed to their partner

HOW MUCH PROGESTOGEN AND OESTROGEN IS IN THE MOST COMMON CONTRACEPTIVE PILLS IN THE UK AND US?Â
Pill brand	Progestogen	Oestrogen
Microgynon	150 mcg levonorgestrel	30 mcg ethinylostradiol
Rigevidon	150 mcg levonorgestrel	30 mcg ethinylestradiol
Yasmin	3 mg drospirenone	30 mcg ethinylestradiol
Loestrin 20	1 mcg norethisterone acetate	20 mcg ethinylestradiol
Cerazette	75 mcg desogestrel	Progestogen-only pill
Microgestin	1mg norethindrone acetate	20 mcg ethinylestradiol
Aviane	0.10 mg levonogestrel	20 mcg ethinylestradiol
Loestrin	1.5 mcg norethisterone acetate	20 mcg ethinylestradiol
Mircette	0.15 mg desogestrel	20 mcg ethinylestradiol
Yaz	3 mg drospirenone	20 mcg ethinylestradiol

In one of the trials, researchers followed more than 100 women over a 12-week period, asked when they had sex in their cycle and how often.

A second trial quizzed 275 women on their hormonal contraceptive and how often they had sex in the previous week.

Taken together, the findings revealed that the more oestrogen a contraceptive contained, the more sexually active a woman was in a less committed relationship.

But women taking contraceptives with more progesterone were most sexually active when they were more committed to their partner.

While some types of oral contraceptive will mimic the hormone levels characteristic of ovulation, others will more closely mimic the extended sexual phase Ââ€

â€˜This strengthens the idea that sex outside the ovulation phase has a function besides just pleasure,â€™ added Trond Viggo GrÃ¸ntvedt from NTNU.

He added: â€˜Before we did this study, we didn't know how much difference there was between the two types of hormonal contraceptives.â€™

The results suggest that how often women have sex is linked to how committed they are to their partner.

But the type of hormone most prominent plays a key role, whether produced naturally or synthetically in the form of oral contraceptive.

The findings are published in the journal Evolution and Human Behavior.Â

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Why a woman's sex drive can be determined by the type of contraceptive pill she using

2:30 PM Bilal Muazin No comments