Showing posts sorted by relevance for query everyone. Sort by date Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query everyone. Sort by date Show all posts

Sunday, February 10, 2013

What does it mean to love someone unconditionally? Is it better to be loved unconditionally?

Q. If a person is loved regardless of their actions, beliefs, attributes, and conditions, can that love not simply have gone to someone different? Is it not a greater honor to be loved for who you are? Is it better to have your love at risk than to love, unconditionally, recklessly, and randomly?

A. I love my boyfriend unconditionally. That means: I love him for who he is and the decisions he makes, the things he does, how he grows and who he becomes. It doesn't mean I can love anyone. It means I love him and respect his views, his attributes and personality. Unconditionally means I wont walk out on him for dumb reasons. It means I'll listen to what he says and if we have problems I'll try to work it out. It means I won't hurt him or hurt his feelings. It means i won't leave him for any dumb reason. It means I dont want to leave him. It means I can tell him anything and listen to anything he says. It means he's the love of my life, my soulmate and I'll stick with him no matter what. It means he's an amazing little dude and I know him well enough to know I dont want to love anyone else but him :)

How has your love for others made you a better person?
Q. Some people can pick and choose who they love; they seek a balance or a rewarding experience for both paties.
Some people appear to express agape; they try to love everybody in some way, though that's often impossible.
Some people are narcissistic; they cannot love anyone as much as they love themselves.

In what way(s) has your love for others (or lack of it) given you a sense of self-worth?

A. My love for others has helped me get through life. I can't hate people for some reason. I just wasn't made to hate them I guess. It helps me get through life letting people know I love them and care. I don't think it is impossible to love everyone in some way. I'm pretty sure I can love everyone in some way.

My dad which has never been there for him I love him more than ever, because I found out that my mother kept me away from him which I love her as well, because she raised me right. She has taken my daughter from me, but I still love her. Okay if you knew every person in my life you could ask me why I love every one of them.

How has your love for others made you a better person?
Q. Some people can pick and choose who they love; they seek a balance or a rewarding experience for both paties.
Some people appear to express agape; they try to love everybody in some way, though that's often impossible.
Some people are narcissistic; they cannot love anyone as much as they love themselves.

In what way(s) has your love for others (or lack of it) given you a sense of self-worth?

A. One of the biggest things that loving others has taught me was a sense of selflessness. Just like when you love your job or an activity you put everything into and you go really hard the whole time. For me that same thing happens when I truly love someone. I am totally selfless and I put my all into a person so that I can have the best outcome possible. Having different experiences where I step outside of the usually selfish person that I am and I am able to give more than I usually do has allowed me to see how much I can do and all that I can attain if I am dedicated and devoted to something or someone.



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Monday, April 29, 2013

How has your love for others made you a better person?

Q. Some people can pick and choose who they love; they seek a balance or a rewarding experience for both paties.
Some people appear to express agape; they try to love everybody in some way, though that's often impossible.
Some people are narcissistic; they cannot love anyone as much as they love themselves.

In what way(s) has your love for others (or lack of it) given you a sense of self-worth?

A. My love for others has helped me get through life. I can't hate people for some reason. I just wasn't made to hate them I guess. It helps me get through life letting people know I love them and care. I don't think it is impossible to love everyone in some way. I'm pretty sure I can love everyone in some way.

My dad which has never been there for him I love him more than ever, because I found out that my mother kept me away from him which I love her as well, because she raised me right. She has taken my daughter from me, but I still love her. Okay if you knew every person in my life you could ask me why I love every one of them.

How has your love for others made you a better person?
Q. Some people can pick and choose who they love; they seek a balance or a rewarding experience for both paties.
Some people appear to express agape; they try to love everybody in some way, though that's often impossible.
Some people are narcissistic; they cannot love anyone as much as they love themselves.

In what way(s) has your love for others (or lack of it) given you a sense of self-worth?

A. One of the biggest things that loving others has taught me was a sense of selflessness. Just like when you love your job or an activity you put everything into and you go really hard the whole time. For me that same thing happens when I truly love someone. I am totally selfless and I put my all into a person so that I can have the best outcome possible. Having different experiences where I step outside of the usually selfish person that I am and I am able to give more than I usually do has allowed me to see how much I can do and all that I can attain if I am dedicated and devoted to something or someone.

What's the difference between loving your boyfriend but not being in love with your boyfriend?
Q. I know you can love your family and friends but not in a "couple' way. But how can you know when you actually love your husband/boyfriend, but not really inlove with him?

Should you marry someone if you love them but not in love with them? Can it work?

A. I wouldn't marry someone if I loved them in a brotherly way. Marriage is a sacred thing and if the person doesn't feel right then don't go through with it. If you were in love with someone, it could def. come back again if you work at it.



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Friday, December 9, 2016

Uber to riders: No sex, and leave your guns at home

By Patrick May,  The Mercury News

The inside of an Uber vehicle, that ”third place” that so many of us often find ourselves these days, should also be a safe place, a clean place, a happy place.

Or so says Uber, which this week issued a set of “Uber Community Guidelines”  to keep both riders and drivers on their best behavior.

As the San Francisco-based ride-sharing giant puts it in its press release, “We want Uber to be enjoyable and safe for everyone. These ground rules are designed to ensure that riders and drivers have a five star ride when using Uber.”

Let’s have a look, shall we?

For starters, Uber wants us all to know that sex during a ride is a big no-no. Even flirting is prohibited between the rider and their driver or fellow passengers. (So, yes, group sex is out.) And don’t even think about calling your driver after the ride on their personal cell number and trying to set up a date. In its guidelines, Uber stresses that it has a ”no sex rule” and, just to make sure all you sex-in-public aficionados get the memo, it repeats “no sex” over and over like some Victorian Age mantra.

And  while you’re sitting in the back seat not having sex with anyone else in the car, you should also not vomit.

To be specific, Uber’s guidelines ban “vomiting due to excessive alcohol consumption,” so you could read that to mean that a flu-induced mishap wouldn’t necessarily get you banned forever from an Uber vehicle. But do try and avoid it anyway.

“Most riders show drivers the respect they deserve,” the company said. “But some don’t â€" whether it’s leaving trash in the car, throwing up in the back seat after too much alcohol or asking a driver to break the speed limit so they can get to their appointment on time. This kind of poor behavior is not OK.”

In the interest of time, we’ve condensed for you some of the other things Uber would like you not to do while in their care:

• Don’t touch other passengers.

• Don’t touch the driver.

• Don’t keep the driver waiting.

• Don’t swear.

• Don’t slam the car door.

• Don’t spill your Starbucks Grande, Iced, Sugar-Free, Vanilla Latte with Soy Milk and then not clean it up.

• Don’t look at people suspiciously if they’re not like you.

• Don’t comment on other riders’ appearances.

• Don’t ask your fellow rider if he/she is single.

• Don’t raise your voice.

• And last but not least, don’t bring your firearm with you on an Uber ride.

Outside of that, have a nice ride.

"

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Thursday, December 8, 2016

10 Directors Explain How to Shoot a Sex Scene -- Vulture

Nothing is easy when it comes to directing a movie, but shooting a sex scene may pose filmmaking's most surreal challenge. Think of all the contradictions at play: Sex is one of the most real and messy things two people can engage in, but in this case, carefully choreographed movie stars are paid to fake it. And while the best love scenes often feel intimate and personal, it's easy to forget that they're reenacted in front of a director and crew standing just out of frame, then broadcast to (and screen-capped by) an audience of millions.Just as everyone goes about lovemaking a little differently, so, too, do directors approach these tricky scenes with a different set of techniques, tips, and tricks. How do you put anxious and nearly naked actors at ease? What's involved when it comes to negotiating for nudity? And when it comes to the MPAA â€" the shadowy ratings board that slaps a restrictive rating on the slightest thrust â€" what sort of double standards are at play? We surveyed ten directors for their own funny, intriguing, and illuminating stories of how they made onscreen lovemaking work. "

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Thank You Very Much for Reading this News

10 Directors Explain How to Shoot a Sex Scene -- Vulture

Nothing is easy when it comes to directing a movie, but shooting a sex scene may pose filmmaking's most surreal challenge. Think of all the contradictions at play: Sex is one of the most real and messy things two people can engage in, but in this case, carefully choreographed movie stars are paid to fake it. And while the best love scenes often feel intimate and personal, it's easy to forget that they're reenacted in front of a director and crew standing just out of frame, then broadcast to (and screen-capped by) an audience of millions.Just as everyone goes about lovemaking a little differently, so, too, do directors approach these tricky scenes with a different set of techniques, tips, and tricks. How do you put anxious and nearly naked actors at ease? What's involved when it comes to negotiating for nudity? And when it comes to the MPAA â€" the shadowy ratings board that slaps a restrictive rating on the slightest thrust â€" what sort of double standards are at play? We surveyed ten directors for their own funny, intriguing, and illuminating stories of how they made onscreen lovemaking work. "

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Thank U Very Much for Visit this Blog

Friday, December 9, 2016

Zika fears not changing South Floridians' sex habits

You delay having kids. You take a cold shower for months after you've traveled to Brazil. Or you use condoms, even if you're already pregnant.

Such is life with Zika, if you play by the rules.

Safe sex practices have been part of the official Zika prevention guidelines since early this year, when researchers confirmed the virus that can cause severe birth defects could be transmitted by sexual contact as well as mosquito bites.

The current federal Centers for Disease Control precautions advise anywhere from eight weeks up to six months of abstinence or condom use, depending on where you live, where you travel, and if you are pregnant or want to be. While expectant couples are the main target, the guidelines apply to anyone who doesn't want to get Zika.

So are people actually going to live like this?

Some public health experts are doubtful.

"I have talked with quite a few physicians, as well as sexually active patients. And I have not encountered anyone who has changed their sexual behavior. It's the hardest thing in the world is to get people to do," said Dr. Sonjia Kenya, an HIV researcher and sexologist at the University of Miami Miller School of Medicine.

What's the problem? Kenya thinks, in part, the consequences of Zika just aren't scary enough, unless you are a pregnant woman worried about becoming infected.

Most everyone else "has become pretty immune to the Zika media hype," said Kenya, author of "Sex in South Beach," who has been called a multicultural Dr. Ruth. "There is something about the sun and the beach and alcohol that invites people to be more relaxed."

The Sunshine State already is a hotbed for sexually transmitted disease -- and yes, the CDC considers Zika an STD, like gonorrhea and syphillis and HIV.

The CDC's annual HIV Surveillance Report, released this week , found the rate of new infections in South Florida's cities over the past year shot up more than three times the national average.

"If getting HIV doesn't scare you into changing your behavior, I don't think Zika will," Kenya said.

True, being bitten by a Zika-infected mosquito remains by far the most common way humans get the virus. As of Dec. 7, the CDC has confirmed 38 sexually transmitted Zika cases out of 4,575 in the U.S.

That's why the CDC continues to tell people the best prevention practice is to slather on bug spray containing DEET -- even if they are clubbing on South Beach or walking the dog. CDC officials say the products are safe for pregnant women and should be used by those expecting.

Since Aug. 1, there have been three sections of Miami-Dade County that at some point were classified as active transmission zones, placing them under the strict CDC "red" advisory that suggested pregnant women not travel there. The zones included the Wynwood area near downtown Miami, portions of South and North Miami Beach, and Little River.

People who did go there, or were residents, were advised to abstain from sex or "consistently" use condoms if they were pregnant, considering pregnancy or did not want to pass the virus. Women were told to follow these guidelines for eight weeks -- but men needed to do so for six months, as researchers believe Zika can live in seminal fluid for at least that long.

On Friday, Gov. Rick Scott declared the last of those areas, a 1.5-square mile tract in South Miami Beach, free of active transmission, lifting the CDC's no-travel recommendation for pregnant women. But the four former transmission zones, along with all of Miami-Dade County, remain under a "yellow" CDC advisory that includes condom use, abstinence and other precautions for expectant couples or people considering conceiving.

Sexual precautions also are suggested for anyone who has traveled to Zika outbreak countries such as portions of Mexico and Brazil, all of Puerto Rico, and many other countries. For a full list of travel advisories, go to: cdc.gov/travel or call 800-232-4636.

The CDC has drafted guidance for physicians and public health workers regarding Zika and sexual transmission. Officials with the Florida Department of Health said they discuss Zika sex guidelines with their patients and put condoms in the Zika prevention kits distributed to pregnant women.

The AIDS Healthcare Foundation (AHF), a global patient care and education organization, has three three large billboard advertisements -- including one with a giant three-dimensional mosquito -- in Miami-Dade County promoting condom use for Zika prevention.

Michael Kahane, AHF's southern bureau chief, said the organization has been distributing condoms along with Zika fact sheets in South Florida and Jamaica, as well as in Puerto Rico, where public health officials predict one in four residents may become Zika postive.

In the Caribbean countries, "people assume everyone already has it or is going to get it. So getting infected is no big deal unless you're pregnant," Kahane said.

While Kahane said that while there has been public health education about Zika, "a lot of people in the U.S. have told me they had no idea it could be sexually transmitted," Kahane said. "I think the general public just isn't aware."

A stroll though Fort Lauderdale's Himmarshee Village entertainment district on an early December night, where diners and drinkers filled outdoor tables, suggested Kahane might be right.

"SIX MONTHS?" cried Adrienne Airhart, 32, when asked how long she thought Zika might live in semen. Airhart, a Los Angeles visitor who had just finished a guided bike trip of the area's bars with pals, had guessed 22 months.

"That's really terrifying," said Airhart, who used to live in Coral Springs. "I am totally not going to Miami."

Her also surprised boyfriend, Aristotle Georgeson, 28, said he didn't know having sex could spread Zika. "So I would definitely let my partner know if I felt sick," he said.

But did he know that there was only a 20 percent chance he would even know he had a Zika infection? That's a problem, he agreed. "And it's not like I can look at a mosquito and know it had Zika," he said.

Dr. Aaron Elkin, a Hollywood obstetrician-gynecologist and past president of the Broward County Medical Association, said the majority of his patients "absolutely" are changing their health and sexual practices due to Zika.

"We are seeing more and more people living in our area afraid of becoming pregnant," said Elkin, who has been involved with federal Zika policy as a John McCain Fellow with the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. "A lot of them are asking me, 'What should I do?' They are very receptive when we talk about steps they can take."

Elkin now does Zika counseling during every prenatal visit, as recommended by the CDC, and patients can pick up free condoms at the office's front desk. His practice is one of the few that, at this point, can run and process Zika tests, cutting wait times for results. So far, Elkin has screened over 200 patients for the virus and predicts, in the future, Zika testing will become a prenatal care standard, as it has for HIV.

Some couples are opting to hold off conception until a Zika vaccine is available, Elkin said, which could be within two years. If the biological clock is ticking, others are willing to move out of the area until their baby arrives.

The majority of South Floridians determined to conceive, however, stay here and wrestle with Zika.

"You can't stop mosquitoes, you can't stop travel and you can't stop sex," Elkin said. "We need to think about how we deal with patients who live here. We can't just say nobody who lives in Miami-Dade can get pregnant until there's a vaccine."

The number of in-vitro fertilizations performed at the Fertility & IVF Center of Miami has been slightly lower this year over last, said medical director Dr. Michael Jacobs, although he is not sure that is due to Zika. A few couples, before Miami-Dade County came under the CDC advisory, earlier this year froze sperm because the male partner was traveling repeatedly to Zika hot zone countries, Jacobs said.

He suspects that some people, including pregnant couples, aren't following all of the CDC Zika prevention recommendations, from applying bug repellent to using condoms. Jacobs said when Miami Beach still had active transmission zones, he spotted a very pregnant woman picnicking outdoors.

"It's all over the news, you are about to give birth, and you are standing next to water with a bunch of mosquitoes in it. I don't understand it," Jacobs said.

dlade@sunsentinel.com and 954-356-4295

SEX AND ZIKA

The federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention suggest expectant couples or those considering conceiving in the near future take these sexual precautions. Pregnant women are those most at risk, as the Zika virus can cause severe fetal abnormalities, but anyone can get Zika through sex. Common Zika symptoms include: fever, rash, joint pain and red eyes.

Women who live in Miami-Dade County or frequently travel there should wait eight weeks before trying to become pregnant. They should abstain from sex or consistently use condoms during this time.

Men who live in Miami-Dade County or frequently travel there should wait six months before trying to get their partner pregnant. They should abstain from sex or consistently use condoms during this time.

Expectant couples where one or both partners either live or have traveled to Miami-Dade County should consistently use condoms, or abstain from sex, until after delivery.

The above guidelines also apply to couples in which one partner has traveled to a country with active Zika transmision.

For more information on Zika prevention: cdc.gov or 800-232-4636√.

"

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Friday, February 2, 2018

Announcing In Intimate Detail: How to Choose, Wear, and Love Lingerie!


How to Choose, Wear, and Love Lingerie!










Want to jump straight to pre-ordering? Click here! 



I tried to come up with some kind of catchy or witty introduction, but I can’t because I’m just too excited. I can finally share what I’ve been working on for the the last year – my debut book from Ten Speed Press, titled In Intimate Detail: How to Choose, Wear and Love Lingerie.
It’s hard to put into words how I feel right now. For most of the past year, my book has existed mostly as an idea, an outline, a manuscript. It’s been a dream. But now that there’s a cover, a release date, and people can place orders…it feels so real.
Writing a book is something I’ve had on my wishlist for awhile, but it always felt like one of those pie-in-the-sky type things. Other people are book authors. Not me. But I said yes when asked to write this book because I felt like I had something to say.
Many of you know my background. My first career was in nonprofits. For most of the last decade, I’ve lived on the West Coast. To a lot of industry people, I’m an outsider, an interloper. But instead of seeing that as a negative, I firmly believe it’s a positive. Being an outsider means you ask the questions other people take for granted. It means you explore and you inquire and you refuse to accept the status quo.





Over the last ten years of lingerie blogging, I’ve learned so much about intimate apparel, and this book shares what I know with you. Lingerie is a strange, confusing world. So much of the “information” out there is actually misinformation, rooted in myth and superstition. But fiction doesn’t help when it comes to making the right lingerie decisions for your taste, lifestyle, size, and budget.


In Intimate Detail pulls back the curtain, sharing the kind of insider knowledge many experts take for granted. It’s an honest, judgment-free guide you can turn to again and again – not just this year or next, but 5 or 10 years from now. I wanted In Intimate Detail to be a book you could feel comfortable giving to your mom or sister or cousin or aunt, to a friend who’s new to lingerie or recently transitioning, or to a spouse who’s recently entered menopause or been diagnosed with breast cancer.
After reading this book, you’ll not only know the language of lingerie – the terminology and definitions you need to help find the pieces you want – you’ll also know “hidden” information like the purpose of bra seams, the difference between a fabric and a fiber, and the qualities of different types of lingerie materials. And, of course, the book has size charts, sample wardrobes, and appendices for various fit concerns, such as lingerie for trans women, pregnant people, and those with disabilities.

More than anything, I want In Intimate Detail to feel like a warm, welcoming invitation into the world of lingerie. It’s the kind of book you can curl up with wrapped in your favorite blanket holding a cup of tea. It truly represents everything I wish I’d known when I started blogging, and it’s the best book I could possibly write. If you love lingerie or if you love The Lingerie Addict, then you’ll love In Intimate Detail.
One thing you’ll notice, especially if you view the preview images on this page, is that In Intimate Detail has no photography. Instead, the book is full of beautiful watercolor illustrations by Sandy Wirt. That’s intentional. I want you to imagine yourself in this pieces. To fully immerse yourself and be open to all your possibilities…even if they’re options you’ve not considered before. In Intimate Detail will help you build the lingerie wardrobe of your dreams. Because you deserve beautiful underthings. And you deserve to feel beautiful in your lingerie.








In Intimate Detail
will officially arrive in-stores on August 28, 2018, but you can pre-order and reserve your copy now. Pre-ordering not only ensures you get one of the very first copies, it also gets you a few special goodies we’re putting together just for pre-order readers.
It’s hard to put into words just how happy I am right now. I’m so happy with the book and the cover and the art. I’m happy with the foreword from the legendary Dita Von Teese. I’m happy you’re here to share this moment with me. And I’m happy about the book tour I’m planning for later this year where I’ll get to meet some of you.

You can pre-order In Intimate Detail from a wide range of booksellers including Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Books-a-Million, iBooks, Powell’s, Hudson Booksellers, IndieBound, and Penguin Random House. And please tell your friends! Share the cover, share sneak peeks, and let’s help everyone discover the power of beautiful lingerie.
One last thing! When you place your pre-order, email me a screenshot or forward a copy of your receipt to book@thelingerieaddict.com. I want to make sure you get on the list for the pre-order goodies the publisher and I are putting together (It’s going to be a really special exclusive, and it will only be available to pre-orders.).
I don’t talk a lot about myself and my feelings online, but this is simultaneously the most excited and the most scared I’ve ever been. But it also feels like the moment I’ve been waiting for ever since I started blogging. Lingerie is for everyone to enjoy. I firmly believe that. And if you believe it too, then In Intimate Detail is for you.



Thanks for reading our article Announcing In Intimate Detail: How to Choose, Wear, and Love Lingerie!. Please share it with pleasure.
Sincery Sex
SRC: http://www.thelingerieaddict.com/2018/02/lingerie-addict-book-in-intimate-detail.html

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Saturday, December 10, 2016

Bad Sex in Fiction Awards ceremony celebrates 24th year

“It’s terribly British, isn’t it,” said the man next to me at last night’s Bad Sex in Fiction Awards ceremony at the (appropriately named) In and Out Club in St James’s. He was referring, of course, to the yearly bash â€" now in its 24th year â€" in which the Literary Review magazine nominates half a dozen passages from contemporary fiction seen to represent sex at its most cringeworthy, reads them out to champagne-infused guffaws, and then awards a prize to the author of the worst.

It is a terribly British event, but it also provides a snarky satisfaction that transcends nationality. Because for anyone with the sneaking suspicion that the sexual act is better done or seen than artistically described â€" that its complex idiosyncrasy is one of the few things that lie outside the remit of the otherwise resourceful English language â€" the Bad Sex Awards hits its mark.

Yet as the entrants this year make clear, writing about sex with flagrant abominableness is still cheerily far from going out of fashion. Hearty examples were a passage from Blue Peter presenter Janet Ellis’s The Butcher’s Hook:

When his hand goes to my breasts, my feet are envious. I slide my hands down his back, all along his spine, rutted with bone like mud ridges in a dry field, to the audacious swell below.

“Audacious swell”? Quite.

Then there was the American Gayle Forman’s entry, from Leave Me:

They were in that room, Jason had slammed the door and devoured her with his mouth, his hands, which were everywhere. As if he were ravenous. And she remembered standing in front of him, her dress a puddle on the floor, and how she’d started to shake, her knees knocking together, like she was a virgin, like this was the first time.


Erri de Luca.
Claudio Onorati/EPA

But the gong went to the Italian poet and translator Erri De Luca for The Day Before Happiness (de Luca understandably wasn’t present). “My prick was a plank stuck to her stomach,” the Neapolitan was justly rebuked for writing:

With a swerve of her hips, she turned me over and I was on top of her … I was her plaything, which she moved around. Our sexes were ready, poised in expectation, barely touching each other: ballet dancers hovering en pointe.

Not everyone felt this deserved the award â€" as an American woman nearby remarked to me, this could clearly be read as satire, plain and simple. Perhaps, but satire doesn’t necessarily get you home dry, especially when it’s ambiguous. After all, the book, a coming of age story, is not particularly comic in the way that, for instance, the early sex-mad tomes of Philip Roth and Martin Amis were.

In fact, the awards were conceived not to discourage writing about sex, but to discourage writing about sex badly. The wording of the original mission statement in 1993 by Auberon Waugh, then editor of the Literary Review, is revealing: the bash was to “draw attention to poorly written, perfunctory or redundant passages of sexual description in modern fiction”.

It would be helpful to have some guidance on what non-redundant, good sex writing looks like, since it’s not entirely clear whether it can exist in a literary form at all. After all, the most sexually charged novels of the last 100 or so years use the rule of thumb that the act is unmentionable, boring, or best only suggested.

The novels of Dickens, Eliot and Trollope are full of sexual yearning, and their emotional and erotic pull are none the worse for the veiled references to kissing and love. Even in 20th century novels with subject matter devoted to romantic entanglements, the sexual act is not necessarily spelled out or even mentioned â€" Iris Murdoch doesn’t go further than “making love” as an account of the nocturnal activities of her highly sexually charged couple Dora and Paul in The Bell (1958).

And while Margaret Drabble’s super-sexy characters Clara and Gabriel get pretty steamy in Jerusalem the Golden, nothing beyond the fact is spelled out. It’s a blessed relief which does nothing to diminish the profoundly saucy atmosphere of the book.

The awards are also a humorous reminder not just of the imaginative power but also of the literary value of discipline and restraint in matters of bonking. A recent book about prime minster Herbert Asquith’s passionate attachment to Venetia Stanley tells of his thousands of letters to her, all passionately headed with variants of “my own darling” and “darlingest”.

Asquith’s desperate fixation with Stanley pours out from every page, but had he indulged in anything more sexually explicit than the desire to “go for a little drive, or will you come to Downing St & have a talk”, it would hardly have helped, and probably only hindered, the accumulated intensity of his fixation. Voluble lusters: take note.

Zoe Strimpel, PhD Candidate, University of Sussex

"

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