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Saturday, December 10, 2016

Bad Sex in Fiction Awards ceremony celebrates 24th year

5:00 PM Bilal Muazin No comments

â€œItâ€™s terribly British, isnâ€™t it,â€ said the man next to me at last nightâ€™s Bad Sex in Fiction Awards ceremony at the (appropriately named) In and Out Club in St Jamesâ€™s. He was referring, of course, to the yearly bash â€" now in its 24th year â€" in which the Literary Review magazine nominates half a dozen passages from contemporary fiction seen to represent sex at its most cringeworthy, reads them out to champagne-infused guffaws, and then awards a prize to the author of the worst.

It is a terribly British event, but it also provides a snarky satisfaction that transcends nationality. Because for anyone with the sneaking suspicion that the sexual act is better done or seen than artistically described â€" that its complex idiosyncrasy is one of the few things that lie outside the remit of the otherwise resourceful English language â€" the Bad Sex Awards hits its mark.

Yet as the entrants this year make clear, writing about sex with flagrant abominableness is still cheerily far from going out of fashion. Hearty examples were a passage from Blue Peter presenter Janet Ellisâ€™s The Butcherâ€™s Hook:

When his hand goes to my breasts, my feet are envious. I slide my hands down his back, all along his spine, rutted with bone like mud ridges in a dry field, to the audacious swell below.

â€œAudacious swellâ€? Quite.

Then there was the American Gayle Formanâ€™s entry, from Leave Me:

They were in that room, Jason had slammed the door and devoured her with his mouth, his hands, which were everywhere. As if he were ravenous. And she remembered standing in front of him, her dress a puddle on the floor, and how sheâ€™d started to shake, her knees knocking together, like she was a virgin, like this was the first time.

Erri de Luca.
Claudio Onorati/EPA

But the gong went to the Italian poet and translator Erri De Luca for The Day Before Happiness (de Luca understandably wasnâ€™t present). â€œMy prick was a plank stuck to her stomach,â€ the Neapolitan was justly rebuked for writing:

With a swerve of her hips, she turned me over and I was on top of her â€¦ I was her plaything, which she moved around. Our sexes were ready, poised in expectation, barely touching each other: ballet dancers hovering en pointe.

Not everyone felt this deserved the award â€" as an American woman nearby remarked to me, this could clearly be read as satire, plain and simple. Perhaps, but satire doesnâ€™t necessarily get you home dry, especially when itâ€™s ambiguous. After all, the book, a coming of age story, is not particularly comic in the way that, for instance, the early sex-mad tomes of Philip Roth and Martin Amis were.

In fact, the awards were conceived not to discourage writing about sex, but to discourage writing about sex badly. The wording of the original mission statement in 1993 by Auberon Waugh, then editor of the Literary Review, is revealing: the bash was to â€œdraw attention to poorly written, perfunctory or redundant passages of sexual description in modern fictionâ€.

It would be helpful to have some guidance on what non-redundant, good sex writing looks like, since itâ€™s not entirely clear whether it can exist in a literary form at all. After all, the most sexually charged novels of the last 100 or so years use the rule of thumb that the act is unmentionable, boring, or best only suggested.

The novels of Dickens, Eliot and Trollope are full of sexual yearning, and their emotional and erotic pull are none the worse for the veiled references to kissing and love. Even in 20th century novels with subject matter devoted to romantic entanglements, the sexual act is not necessarily spelled out or even mentioned â€" Iris Murdoch doesnâ€™t go further than â€œmaking loveâ€ as an account of the nocturnal activities of her highly sexually charged couple Dora and Paul in The Bell (1958).

And while Margaret Drabbleâ€™s super-sexy characters Clara and Gabriel get pretty steamy in Jerusalem the Golden, nothing beyond the fact is spelled out. Itâ€™s a blessed relief which does nothing to diminish the profoundly saucy atmosphere of the book.

The awards are also a humorous reminder not just of the imaginative power but also of the literary value of discipline and restraint in matters of bonking. A recent book about prime minster Herbert Asquithâ€™s passionate attachment to Venetia Stanley tells of his thousands of letters to her, all passionately headed with variants of â€œmy own darlingâ€ and â€œdarlingestâ€.

Asquithâ€™s desperate fixation with Stanley pours out from every page, but had he indulged in anything more sexually explicit than the desire to â€œgo for a little drive, or will you come to Downing St & have a talkâ€, it would hardly have helped, and probably only hindered, the accumulated intensity of his fixation. Voluble lusters: take note.

Zoe Strimpel, PhD Candidate, University of Sussex

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Thursday, December 8, 2016

Yes, Sex Robots Are a Thing and Here's Everything You Want to Know

1:57 AM Bilal Muazin No comments

Sex robots may be all over science fiction, but our real sexy-AI future is probably closer than you thought.

As 2016 comes to a close, it's worthwhile to ask where we're at, sex robot-wise, as we move into the new yearâ€"and the answer depends on what kind of sex robot you're looking for. First, there are the "escort" services in Japan and South Korea that let people rent out technologically-advanced sex dolls. Though we already knew about American artist Matt McMullen's "RealDolls,", lifelike sex dolls that can be modeled after real people (like the one Ryan Gosling fell in love with in Lars and the Real Girl), he's currently adding artificial intelligence so they can talk to their human companions. And engineer Douglas Hines invented a robot named Roxxxy, which (or is it who?) responds verbally to touch and can talk about the news.

Thankfully, it doesn't look like sexbots are in danger of replacing human partnersâ€"at least for now. According to a survey by Tufts University researchers, most people agree that having sex with a robot is more like using a sex toy than sleeping with a person. But even when sex is taken off the table, our artificial friends could have some other interesting uses in the future.

We asked sexual biotechnology researcher Nicole Prause, PhD, if what's available now really counts as a sex robot and what we can expect in the future.

Would it be fair to say that sex robots already exist?

Nicole Prause: Sure, at the most basic level, sex robots already exist. There are machines to "auto-extract" ejaculate both for fertility and pleasure purposes already. They are not responsive to human preference or feedback, but the mechanics already exist. Responsive characters already exist, tooâ€"they just have to limit your requests of them because they are not very flexible.

What are the most advanced sex robots we have right now?

NP: The most advanced robots in terms of their intelligence do not exist in sex. The most advanced development I have seen for emotional tasks is for automated therapy, such as for PTSD. Studies are being conducted showing that, while people do not ascribe actual human qualities (they do not believe the robot has come to life), they will disclose more emotional content to a robot therapist than to a human therapist. These advances are occurring in collaborations between research psychologists and computer scientists.

What do you think the most advanced sex robots will look like in 10 years, then?

NP: Sex robots in 10 years are likely to be increasingly able to detect sexual movements (e.g., being touched on the nipple and how hard), but so little is known about "typical" sexual interactionsâ€"how many people desire or respond to nipple stimulation and what is optimal pressureâ€"that it will be very difficult to develop accurate "off-the-shelf" robots. The advances are most likely to come with learning algorithms developed for other, non-sexual purposes. The necessity of advanced computing to integrate the information from the periphery (nipple, vulva, et cetera) and the stigma of working in this area suggest sexually-focused robots will not receive attention from the best scientists until sometime far after others have developed related capabilities. I am not optimistic we will see much in 10 years.

Do you see any potential uses for them beyond entertainment?

NP: People can remain aware of the robot as a robot and still have true emotional experiences themselves, and I do not see why sexual experiences would be different in this respect. Much like sex films, which adults overwhelmingly recognize as fantasy, I believe robots will be a useful tool for some people beyond entertainment alone.

What positive effects do you think they could have on our lives?

NP: Robots could be very useful in situations where partner access is not available. For example, therapy to overcome sexual abuse might feel safer to start with a well-controlled, programmed, non-judgemental partner. Those who have difficulty attracting partners, due to mental illness, different physical appearance, or simple disinterest, might choose to enjoy sexual activity with robots. Established romantic relationships could include a robot to increase their sexual breadth. Robots also might serve in a discharge capacityâ€"directing illegal sexual behaviors towards the robot instead of a human.

What negative effects could they have?

NP: The biggest likely negative effect is the technology backlash that always occurs in sexuality: people will be shamed for sexual behaviors with robots. They will be made to feel they are broken, maladjusted, or otherwise lesser. In other words, the most likely negative effects are from the social response to sex robots, not the robots themselves. They also might present a challenge for individuals with social anxiety, who otherwise might be motivated to improve their social interactions out of a desire to attract a sexual partner, have a family, and so on. Of course, any device could carry some basic risk of injury, but I trust those to be minimized, as safety will be in mind with development.

This is likely to mimic what we have seen with sex films: a tiny minority of people who view sex films report having problems with them, while society loses its collective shit with conservative panic about imagined problem. "Loses its collective shit" being a super-professional opinion.

If we want to get an idea of what sex robots could be like one day, do any sci-fi movies actually do a good job depicting them?

NP: No. Movies with sexbots always present them as far more advanced than I can imagine them being in 50 years, much less 10, in terms of emotional simulations. Repetitive sexual movements I expect to become much more realistic more rapidly than the interaction.

Would it be possible for people to one day fall in love with robots?

NP: As with sex films, there will be a tiny minority of people who fail to distinguish reality with robots. I hope we focus on this education rather than demonizing the technology.

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Friday, February 2, 2018

Announcing In Intimate Detail: How to Choose, Wear, and Love Lingerie!

4:00 PM Bilal Muazin No comments

How to Choose, Wear, and Love Lingerie!

Want to jump straight to pre-ordering? Click here!

I tried to come up with some kind of catchy or witty introduction, but I can’t because I’m just too excited. I can finally share what I’ve been working on for the the last year – my debut book from Ten Speed Press, titled In Intimate Detail: How to Choose, Wear and Love Lingerie.
It’s hard to put into words how I feel right now. For most of the past year, my book has existed mostly as an idea, an outline, a manuscript. It’s been a dream. But now that there’s a cover, a release date, and people can place orders…it feels so real.
Writing a book is something I’ve had on my wishlist for awhile, but it always felt like one of those pie-in-the-sky type things. Other people are book authors. Not me. But I said yes when asked to write this book because I felt like I had something to say.
Many of you know my background. My first career was in nonprofits. For most of the last decade, I’ve lived on the West Coast. To a lot of industry people, I’m an outsider, an interloper. But instead of seeing that as a negative, I firmly believe it’s a positive. Being an outsider means you ask the questions other people take for granted. It means you explore and you inquire and you refuse to accept the status quo.

Over the last ten years of lingerie blogging, I’ve learned so much about intimate apparel, and this book shares what I know with you. Lingerie is a strange, confusing world. So much of the “information” out there is actually misinformation, rooted in myth and superstition. But fiction doesn’t help when it comes to making the right lingerie decisions for your taste, lifestyle, size, and budget.

In Intimate Detail pulls back the curtain, sharing the kind of insider knowledge many experts take for granted. It’s an honest, judgment-free guide you can turn to again and again – not just this year or next, but 5 or 10 years from now. I wanted In Intimate Detail to be a book you could feel comfortable giving to your mom or sister or cousin or aunt, to a friend who’s new to lingerie or recently transitioning, or to a spouse who’s recently entered menopause or been diagnosed with breast cancer.
After reading this book, you’ll not only know the language of lingerie – the terminology and definitions you need to help find the pieces you want – you’ll also know “hidden” information like the purpose of bra seams, the difference between a fabric and a fiber, and the qualities of different types of lingerie materials. And, of course, the book has size charts, sample wardrobes, and appendices for various fit concerns, such as lingerie for trans women, pregnant people, and those with disabilities.

More than anything, I want In Intimate Detail to feel like a warm, welcoming invitation into the world of lingerie. It’s the kind of book you can curl up with wrapped in your favorite blanket holding a cup of tea. It truly represents everything I wish I’d known when I started blogging, and it’s the best book I could possibly write. If you love lingerie or if you love The Lingerie Addict, then you’ll love In Intimate Detail.
One thing you’ll notice, especially if you view the preview images on this page, is that In Intimate Detail has no photography. Instead, the book is full of beautiful watercolor illustrations by Sandy Wirt. That’s intentional. I want you to imagine yourself in this pieces. To fully immerse yourself and be open to all your possibilities…even if they’re options you’ve not considered before. In Intimate Detail will help you build the lingerie wardrobe of your dreams. Because you deserve beautiful underthings. And you deserve to feel beautiful in your lingerie.

In Intimate Detail
will officially arrive in-stores on August 28, 2018, but you can pre-order and reserve your copy now. Pre-ordering not only ensures you get one of the very first copies, it also gets you a few special goodies we’re putting together just for pre-order readers.
It’s hard to put into words just how happy I am right now. I’m so happy with the book and the cover and the art. I’m happy with the foreword from the legendary Dita Von Teese. I’m happy you’re here to share this moment with me. And I’m happy about the book tour I’m planning for later this year where I’ll get to meet some of you.

You can pre-order In Intimate Detail from a wide range of booksellers including Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Books-a-Million, iBooks, Powell’s, Hudson Booksellers, IndieBound, and Penguin Random House. And please tell your friends! Share the cover, share sneak peeks, and let’s help everyone discover the power of beautiful lingerie.
One last thing! When you place your pre-order, email me a screenshot or forward a copy of your receipt to book@thelingerieaddict.com. I want to make sure you get on the list for the pre-order goodies the publisher and I are putting together (It’s going to be a really special exclusive, and it will only be available to pre-orders.).
I don’t talk a lot about myself and my feelings online, but this is simultaneously the most excited and the most scared I’ve ever been. But it also feels like the moment I’ve been waiting for ever since I started blogging. Lingerie is for everyone to enjoy. I firmly believe that. And if you believe it too, then In Intimate Detail is for you.

Thanks for reading our article Announcing In Intimate Detail: How to Choose, Wear, and Love Lingerie!. Please share it with pleasure.
Sincery Sex
SRC: http://www.thelingerieaddict.com/2018/02/lingerie-addict-book-in-intimate-detail.html

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