Americans have been lying about the benefits of abstinence only education and the dangers of porn for decades — Quartz

Over the past few weeks, as the idea of a Trump presidency has gone from unthinkable joke to horrifying reality, I’ve heard a new term making the rounds, particularly among my friends in media. “We’re living in a post-truth era,” they tell me, citing Trump’s many lies and contradictions, the rise of fake news sites, and a growing distrust of the mainstream media as evidence that the American people are increasingly distanced from reality.

I think this is a fairly accurate assessment. But as someone who’s been writing and educating Americans about sex-related topics for over a decade, I can testify to the fact that we’ve been living in a “post-truth” era for years. Quite frankly, I’ve been dealing with a post-truth world for my entire career.

The easiest entry point for understanding America’s fuzzy relationship between sex and fact is the sad state of American sex education. According to the Guttmacher Institute, a mere 13 US states require sex education to be “medically accurate.” To put that in context, 39 states require HIV education to either stress or cover abstinence, in spite of the fact that there’s little proof that a focus on abstinence actually helps delay sex.

Indeed, America’s two-decade long love affair with abstinence-only education (which president Barack Obama has attempted to put an end to) feels like the epitome of “post-truth.” Study after study shows that abstinence-only education doesn’t reduce the rate of teen pregnancy, delay the age at which young people start having sex, or lower rates of STI transmission. But as long as telling kids not to have sex feels like the solution, these misguided lesson plans will likely persist. (In fact, it might actually get worse; president-elect Donald Trump and vice president-elect Mike Pence are not known for an enlightened outlook on sexuality. Pence once said on national television that condoms are “very, very poor protection” against STIs).

This aversion to the truth is much more than a failing of political conservatives. In my experience, liberals are just as willing to ignore the facts when it’s convenient to their larger narrative.

Over the years I’ve rolled my eyes at numerous acts of “journalism” that perpetuated half-truths and outright lies about the sex and porn industriesâ€"often in the supposed service of protecting women. >The Price of Pleasure, for exampleâ€"an anti-porn documentary created by NYU professor Chyng Sunâ€"misled many of its interview subjects and used manipulative editing to craft a vision of a ruthlessly exploitative porn industry that few porn performers recognize. A piece in The Atlantic once positioned double anal, an extreme sex act that even the most practiced porn performers need to warm up to, as a routine occurrence. And let’s not forget the New York Times’ own Nicholas Kristof, whose factually inaccurate writing has peddled numerous myths about sex work and who has positioned himself as a voice of authority in spite of numerous sex workers who’ve contested his version of the “truth.”

The topic of sex is vulnerable to this sort of misinformation for a number of reasons. It’s an intensely personal experience, and one most of us have some degree of experience with. This creates a personal sense of authorityâ€"even when we lack any facts or expertise beyond our own limited experience. Compounding this false confidence is the persistent taboo against public discussions of sexuality. Stigma around sex prevents us from openly and honestly discussing the topic, adding further fuel to the many “truthy” statements that circulate about human sexual experience.

A slumping news industry has coincided with the rise of social mediaâ€"a phenomenon that has made news consumption more individualized and created information bubbles that help reinforce what feels right over what’s actually true.While unfortunate, in this context it makes sense that we’re seeing a spread of inaccuracy in our discussions of politics, the environment, and other hot-button topics that have historically been more buffered from falsehoods than sex.

But if my work in sex education offers me a deeper understanding of the factors that encourage and enable a collective divorce from reality, it also gives me hope that post-truth isn’t a permanent state of being. If we stay committed to pursuing and promoting a reality-based vision of the world, it’s possible to overcome seemingly overwhelming odds.

On the same Tuesday that Trump secured the White House, California’s adult industry battled misinformation, ignorance, and a well-funded propaganda machine to defeat the egregious Proposition 60. Opposed by many health organizations and practically all of California’s adult film actors, the proposition would have violated worker privacy and potentially made it possible for regular Californians to sue porn producers if they believed actors weren’t wearing condoms. Around the globe, sex workers have banded together to make their voices and opinions heard, and are slowly chipping away at the post-truth ethos that’s oppressed their industry for decades (if not centuries).

And even though government-funded sex education is often mediocreâ€"if not outright harmfulâ€"a number of independent sources have harnessed the internet to provide smart, thoughtful, and fact-based sex education to young people around the globe. This is the lesson activists and politicians alike need to internalize in the age of Trump. With enough commitment, dedication, and persistence, the truth can ultimately win out.

Follow Lux on Twitter @luxalptraum. Learn how to write for Quartz Ideas. We welcome your comments at ideas@qz.com.

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God says marriage is forever and the only cause for divorce is?

Q. in the bible what are the only reasonable things that can cause a marriage to end. what makes divorce okay... cheating? emotional abuse? physical abuse? nothing? and if cheating is a good enough reason for divorce what qualifies as cheating? sex? kissing? date and holding hands? chatting with other women on dating websites and claiming that you are single and looking for someone to start a family with? i need to know what the bible says please

A. There are many causes for divorce; abuse, committing adultery, etc...

"What qualifies as cheating?"

Jesus says that if a man looks upon a woman with lust than he has committed adultery with her in his heart. So cheating is the mere desire/lusting for any woman other than your wife.

When a man and woman divorce, though, they cannot remarry - unless one of them have died. Jesus, I can't remember where at this exact moment, condemned the pharisees for divorcing their wives and making adulterers out of them (because the only way a woman could survive in that culture is if they were either daughters or wives - and therefore would have to remarry if their husband divorced them)... I THINK that in some instances, like this one, one spouse may carry more blame than the other if there is divorce.

Original Question

How come a woman's unfaithful excuse is more socially forgiving than a man?

Q. A man cheats for sex and woman cheats for love. Is that why?
A man cheats, "hes a dog" pass it on. A woman cheats, nobody cares.

A. That's easy. Women are not accountable for their actions.

Original Question

What should I say when confronting my boyfriend about cheating?

Q. I am planning on having a conversation with my boyfriend tomorrow about him possibly cheating on me, not cheating like sex, but having mental emotional contact with another woman. I have found a few things I believe could mean he is and am worried he will take things further. I love him very much and I just don't know how to approach this. My communication skills aren't the greatest.

A. Oh...I'm sorry to hear that. I've been there, and it's so painful. I would just start out with letting him know you want to take some time to have a talk with him. When you talk to him, don't try to sound accusitory, or hostile, because that will shut him down and you won't get the answers you need. Just tell him that you care about him, but you have reason to believe he might have feelings for another girl. Tell him why you have some of those suspicions. Let him know that you don't hate him, but you want to know the truth, because you and he need to make some decisions about how to move on from here. Tell him that you're going to trust his answer, and that if he tells you he doesn't have feelings for her, that you are going to give him the benefit of the doubt. If he admits he DOES have feelings for her, then you need to find out from him what his intentions are --if he wants his freedom to pursue those feelings, or if he wants to try to work things out with you. If he says he wants to work things out with you, then you need to start laying down some ground rules. He needs to stay away from this person. That means no contact that isn't absolutely necessary. (ex: if he works with her.) If he indicates that he might want to pursue something with her, or says that he's not sure what he wants to do, then I would consider ending the relationship. Trust me, there is nothing more painful than trying to be in a relationship with a man that is hung up on another woman. And you NEVER win in that situation. Best wishes to you--I hope things turn out for the best for you.

Original Question

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