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Saturday, December 10, 2016

Why Arkansas same-sex parents won't be listed on a child's birth certificate

5:00 PM Bilal Muazin No comments

Arkansas same-sex parents will not be listed on their childrenâ€™s birth certificates, the stateâ€™s highest court ruled on Thursday. The decision has raised questions about equal protection, and the state may still change its approach.

The ruling by a four-member majority of the Arkansas Supreme Court determined that only biological parents can be listed on a childâ€™s birth certificate. It overturns last yearâ€™s decision by a lower court that married same-sex couples could automatically have both spouses listed as parents.Â

For the state Supreme Court, itâ€™s simply a question of biology. At the same time, marriage allows different-sex couples to be listed as parents, and the US Supreme Courtâ€™s ruling on gay marriage may mean that now applies to same-sex couples too. And the debate is complicated by state laws that require parentage to be tracked.

â€œIt is clear that including both married spousesâ€™ names â€" regardless of whether they are same-sex or opposite sex â€" on a childâ€™s birth certificate is exactly the kind of benefit of marriage that the U.S. Supreme Court ruled should be extended to same-sex couples,â€ Kate Oakley, senior legislative counsel for the Human Rights Campaign, said in a press release.

That was the approach taken by Little Rock Circuit Judge Tim Fox in December 2015. Three same-sex couples brought a case arguing that the legalization of same-sex marriage gave same-sex parents the same rights to be identified as parents on their childrenâ€™s birth certificates that different-sex parents already enjoyed.Â

For parents, being named on a childâ€™s birth certificate is important for all kinds of reasons, as LGBT news source The Advocate described. Without this legitimization, parents may struggle to put children on their health insurance or even pick them up from school.

When they won their suit, the three couples were granted the right to list the names of both partners on the birth certificates. But the state appealed the decision on the grounds that it was causing legal and logistical problems. Several days after the initial ruling, the Arkansas Supreme Court stayed the decision, preventing it from being extended to other couples.

One possible reason for the issues: birth certificates are woven into legislation and Health Board protocol in the state of Arkansas. Identifying biological parents is an â€œimportant governmental objective,â€ wrote Arkansas Supreme Court Associate Justice Josephine Linker Hart in the majority opinion, explaining that knowing who parents are allows the state to track public health trends and give children genetic information that they might need for medical reasons later on.

But different-sex Arkansas parents arenâ€™t required to prove that they are the biological parents of the child, perhaps limiting the value of state tracking â€" and raising questions about unequal treatment of same-sex parents.

"There's no requirement that DNA be given or that there be a biological relationship to a child to get on a birth certificate for a father, for the non-birth parent," said Cheryl Maples, who sued on behalf of the three couples, the Associated Press reported.

â€œThe inclusion of a parent's name on a child's birth certificate is a benefit associated with and flowing from marriage," wrote Arkansas Associate Justice Paul Danielson in the dissenting opinion.

The decision may have provided an impetus for the state to make some changes to the law.

â€œIt is time to heed the callâ€ to make changes heralded by decisions like Obergefell v. Hodges, which established the right to same-sex marriage, said Arkansas Chief Justice Howard Brill, according to NBC.

And though some state officials pronounced the state â€œgratifiedâ€ that the court had chosen to uphold state law, they suggested that lawmakers might be willing to consider changes. Arkansas has so far been reluctant to amend its laws.

â€œIf any changes are appropriate, it is the job of legislators to do so, not the circuit court,â€ said Judd Deere, a spokesman for Arkansas Attorney General Leslie Rutledge, AP reported.

As it stands, the ruling would require same-sex parents to obtain a court order if they want both spouses to be listed on a childâ€™s birth certificate. Ms. Maples told AP that she has not yet decided whether to appeal to the US Supreme Court.

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Thursday, December 8, 2016

The crowd-pleaser: What is the most popular sex position?

1:57 AM Bilal Muazin No comments

This article originally appeared on AlterNet.

AlterNet > Defining sex is easy, but having it is slightly more complicated â€" namely, because there are a lot of different ways to get it on. But is there a crowd favorite out there?

According to Dr. Ed, there is. In a survey of 2,000 people in the United States and the United Kingdom, the team at Dr. Ed found that more people prefer doggy styleÂ to any other position. According to their experts, doggy style â€œallows for deeper penetration,â€ making the G-spot easier to reach. Perhaps thatâ€™s why over 35 percent of respondents tagged it as their go-to favorite. Missionary came in second, with cowgirl following close behind.

Other popular positions included holding legs up, spooning and reverse cowgirl. The 69 position also made it onto the list, a rather unsurprising finding. Research suggestsÂ oral sex is one of the most reliable means by which women can achieve orgasm.

But while both men and women agreed that doggy style was the most enjoyable way to have sex, they werenâ€™t able to see eye-to-eye in all areas. Men ranked anal sex as the ninth most pleasurable position, while it didnâ€™t even make it into the top 10 list for women. (Some research has shown that anal sex is becoming more popular among someÂ women.)

Sexual orientation didnâ€™t seem to influence the respondentsâ€™ preferences in any significant way. Straight, bisexual and gay participants all ranked doggy style as their favorite position.

Curiosity about certain sexual positions spanned the spectrum of sexual orientation. All respondents were equally curious about the tabletop position (in which one partner sits on the edge of a table while the other penetrates them while standing up). The 69 position while standing up was another popular pick on the wish list.

Apparently, most of the guys learned about these stunts online. Fifty-three percent of men surveyed said they picked up their sex moves from porn. Women, on the other hand, said they learned about their favorite sex positions from a real-life partner.

But maybe thereâ€™s something about watching all that online smut that makes one a little bit more adventurous. Over 75 percent of men said they were the ones to initiate a new position. Fifty-nine percent of women admitted that their partners were the ones wanting to mix it up.

But as they say, in life, there is no pleasure without pain. Nearly 38 percent of men said the thing that scared them most about sex was the possibility of hurting their partner â€" not exactly a huge surprise, given the number interested in anal sex. Less than 9 percent listed hurting themselves as a concern (they must have missed our article on broken penises). Women were more worried about not being able to sufficiently please their partner. Over 31 percent were worried about not being flexible enough in bed.

Check out the rest of theÂ survey results.

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AG: Berks man appeared with minor in live sex video

1:57 AM Bilal Muazin No comments

Pennsylvania investigators allege that a Berks County man was caught on a live-sex website masturbating with a 7-year-old child sitting on his lap.

The state attorney generalâ€™s office filed sex assault charges against Ryan S. Peifer in connection with the alleged July 2015 incident. District Judge Wayne Maura arraigned the 30-year-old Tuesday night, setting bail at $50,000.

In July 2015, a resident in Arlington, Virginia, reported to the Arlington County Police Department that he had seen a man engaging in a sex act with who appeared to be a minor. The incident was seen on a live-streaming website that allows people to watch others perform live sex acts, according to court records.

The witness, who described the act to investigators, provided authorities with screen shots and the screen name of â€œTetraHC.â€ Investigators in Virginia identified the man in the video as Peifer and learned that he had access to a child. The incident was referred to the Berks County district attorneyâ€™s office, which in turn referred the case to the AGâ€™s child predator section.

Itâ€™s unclear why Peifer was arraigned in Lehigh County, but court records list an Allentown address as to where the crime was alleged to have occurred.

Investigators learned that the website strictly regulates its users. Authorities said Peifer validated his age and identity by taking a photo of himself with his driverâ€™s license on his forehead, according to records.

The investigating agent reviewed the still shots provided by the witness, verifying that it appears Peifer masturbated with the child sitting on his lap. Court records indicate Peifer and the child remained fully clothed.

Investigators arranged to interview Peifer at his motherâ€™s Reading home on Tuesday afternoon. The agent said he immediately recognized Peifer from the photos.

He initially agreed to be interviewed, acknowledging that the website account under the name â€œTetraHCâ€ was his, according to records. But Peifer asked to end the interview because he wanted to have an attorney present.

Authorities detained Peifer after he ended the interview and charged him with unlawful contact with a minor, statutory sexual assault, criminal use of a communication device, corruption of minors and disseminating images of a child sex act. He failed to post bail and was sent to Lehigh County Jail to await a preliminary hearing tentatively scheduled for Dec. 13.

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Saturday, December 10, 2016

Porn, Sex And Marriage: What's OK, And What Isn't? : NPR

5:00 PM Bilal Muazin No comments

Warning: Today's post deals with sexual content and may not be appropriate for all audiences.

Dear Sugar Radio is a weekly podcast from member station WBUR. Hosts Steve Almond and Cheryl Strayed offer "radical empathy" and advice on everything from relationships and parenthood to dealing with drug problems or anxiety.

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Courtesy of WBUR

Today they're delving into the adult topics of pornography and masturbation. A man says he masturbates regularly while watching pornography but still maintains a healthy sexual relationship with his wife. But he is still "troubled" by the notion that the porn industry is exploitative of performers, and questions whether it is morally acceptable to fantasize about women other than his wife.

To help in their discussion of these topics, the Sugars are joined by Wendy Maltz, sex therapist and co-author of The Porn Trap.

Dear Sugars,

Is it bad to masturbate to online porn? I am a happily married man in my mid-50s, and have been married for 15 years to a wonderful woman. We have a satisfying sex life, having sex approximately once every week.

However, I go online to masturbate to porn about three times a week. I work from home and find that I become sexually turned on during the working day. I look at masturbation as a healthy release. Viewing online porn allows me to accomplish the "task" more quickly and get back to work.

That other purveyor of personal wisdom, Dr. Phil, advises that watching porn is an immoral betrayal of a marital partner and says the women in porn videos are likely to have been abused as children and are being exploited. I have a teenage daughter and avoid videos of young girls, preferring age-appropriate subjects in the so-called "mature" category. I also avoid watching porn up to 24 hours before I am likely to have a date with my wife in order to be able to enjoy and contribute to our sex together.

Can Men And Women Be Friends Without Benefits?

My wife knows that I look at porn. While we don't discuss it, she doesn't feel that it is a betrayal of her. I look at viewing porn as an extension of masturbation, which I believe is healthy and a necessary release, one that is as private as going to the bathroom. If not for porn, I would still masturbate. I doubt Dr. Phil believes that masturbation is immoral. Is masturbating while fantasizing about someone besides my wife immoral? Assuming that online porn is the problem, is it possible that you can make distinctions?

I know that many of the women on porn sites are probably psychologically damaged in some way, and that the pornography industry may be contributing to that damage. On the other hand, is it possible that accepting money for video sex is not always exploitative? Is it possible that some of the women who perform in online sex videos do it out of a healthy appreciation of sex?

Signed,

Troubled by Porn

Steve Almond: I could have written this letter, and I felt a great sense of sympathy for this guy who's trying to figure out the same questions I struggle with when I bother to even struggle with them: Am I complicit in something that is very clearly against my moral code? In what ways? And what are my other alternatives?

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Follow the Sugars on Twitter @dearsugarradio. Jennie Baker Photography/Courtesy of WBUR hide caption

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Follow the Sugars on Twitter @dearsugarradio.

Jennie Baker Photography/Courtesy of WBUR

I think he is in a productive state of bewilderment, and I think most of the men of conscience who consume porn in one way or another are either suppressing this set of questions or are struggling with them. The porn industry is like football or like meat or like fossil fuels â€" it's essentially exploitative. But because I have a libido that operates differently than my wife's, I get horny and I want relief. I lament that I no longer sit there and do the imaginative work of masturbating without porn. There are a lot of people who aren't even grappling with the ways in which pornography is an ethical concern because, frankly, people don't want porn served with a side dish of ethics.

Wendy Maltz: I have a lot of respect for the man who wrote this letter. He's really thinking about his relationship to porn and trying to figure it out. He doesn't have the secrecy and shame element going on that a lot of people have with porn. But there's something happening â€" he's starting to question it. I can't say if his porn use in particular is a good thing or a bad thing. It's so personal. People have ask themselves, "What does porn mean to me? What is it doing to me? Where's it taking me?"

Cheryl Strayed: What do you mean when you say "Where's it taking me?" Do you mean to suggest that, in some ways, his porn use could be robbing his marriage of a sort of intimacy that it might have if he didn't use it?

Wendy: Porn is a very powerful product. It's like nothing we've ever seen before. There's a conditioning process associated with porn. It can become a stronger habit. Our sexual arousal response gets patterned to particular cues, and those cues can be the images in porn or they can be the smell of a lover's neck. Images are very powerful, so porn could be affecting the intimacy he has with his wife in ways he's not even aware of. He says porn is not an issue in his marriage, but he and his wife aren't really talking about its place in their relationship either.

Steve: There's a kind of "don't-ask-don't-tell" policy when it comes to porn in relationships. Pornography, predominantly for men, is a little secret cavern â€" it's a place we go, even if we're in happy, deeply communicative relationships, as it seems this guy is.

Cheryl: Part of my response to this letter is that there's nothing wrong. This guy wants to have an orgasm about four times a week. Presumably, if his wife wanted to have sex more, she would be making advances towards him. And he has a different sex drive than she does, and so he just takes care of himself. He doesn't need to tell his wife. There is such thing as privacy, even when you're married to somebody. Wendy, is this inherently a bad setup, or are you thinking, well clearly, because he's asking these questions, he's not entirely comfortable with it?

Wendy: From a clinical perspective, we're not talking about someone who is disassociated or who uses porn in lieu of sex, but there's something going on for him â€" he signed his letter "Troubled by Porn." One of the things that I wonder about is, why does he use porn a lot while he's working? Is sexual release a way of dealing with stress for him? Maybe he's not feeling as productive or as recognized in his field as he'd like to be? Has porn become a way that he self-soothes? And if so, is that at the expense of learning other ways to take care of himself â€" reaching out to a real person or going for a run?

The other thing is his age. Being a man in his mid-50s, it can take a little longer to get sexually aroused. The erections aren't as firm. Sex can become a little bit more laborious in terms of functioning, but under usual circumstances, that's offset by really good communication with a partner you've been with for years.

Cheryl: Or by a sense of humor â€" that sex doesn't have to be a performance. It doesn't always have to equal orgasm. It's a sensual exchange of pleasure and communication.

Wendy: And there's this wonderful growth that a couple can have. I've been married for nearly 40 years now, but I had a rough beginning as a sexual person. I've now experienced what it's like to be in a long-term relationship where you don't have a heavy influence of porn and where you can really work with your partner and learn with your partner and grow with your partner sexually. I think a lot of couples are missing out on that growth.

Steve: Troubled by Porn, you've reached a moment where you have to ask yourself, "What is the meaning of porn for me? And if I'm unsettled, do I need to start having the difficult, but necessary, discussion with my wife to say, 'I feel greater desire and I want it to be toward you. I want to find a better balance between my porn use and our sex life together.' "

You can get more advice from the Sugars each week on >Dear Sugar Radio from WBUR. Listen to the full episode to hear more about how porn can affect relationships.

Have a question for the Sugars? Email dearsugarradio@gmail.com and it may be answered on a future episode.

You can also listen to Dear Sugar Radio on >iTunes, >Stitcher or your favorite podcast app.

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