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Thursday, December 8, 2016

Female Orgasm To Oral Sex; 9 Surprising Things Science Taught Us About Our Sex Lives In 2016

10:00 AM Bilal Muazin No comments

We're constantly reminded of sex, whether by a sultry magazine cover atÂ the newsstand, a steamy scene at the movies, or a night atÂ the bar. Science gotÂ its hands dirty this past year trying toÂ unravel the latest patterns and trends in the field of sex research, aÂ popular and often controversial area of interest. Here's what we learned. Â

Sex: Why It Feels So Good

Many people will admit they love sex because it feels so good. Itâ€™s a source of pleasurable sensations that facilitate an emotional connection between two people, but science has found itâ€™s also an altered state of consciousness. A study in Socioaffective Neuroscience & PsychologyÂ found sexual pleasureÂ floods the brain with a surge of neurochemicals â€" chemical messengers that forge emotions, feelings of attachment, and even love. The level of pleasure thatâ€™s felt is linked to the release of chemicals, which can be used to measure the intensity of an orgasm.

We discovered that if sexual stimulation is intense enough, and goes on long enough, synchronized activity could spread throughout the brain. This intense focused attention outcompetes usual self-awareness for access to consciousness, and so produces a state of sensory absorption and trance.

>Read More: How The Brain Functions During An Orgasm

So, how long should this euphoric-like state last?

In an article for The Conversationalist, Dr. Brendan Zietsch, a psychologist from the University of Queensland, focused on how long heterosexual couples report penetrative sex actually lasts. The findings revealed the average time for each couple, across all the times they had sex, ranged from 33 seconds to 44 minutes. Meanwhile, the average across all couples was 5.4 minutes. This means a couple will typically go for an average of 5.4 minutes every time they have sex. Zietsch suspects penis shape could influence how long men last in bed.

Who's Getting It On Vs. Whoâ€™s Not

Sexless Millennials

Dating apps like Tinder, frequently used by Millennials, haveÂ led casual sex to become more common. Naturally, we would assume Millennials are having more sex, but a study in Archives of Sexual Behavior found more young people are living sexless lives than their counterparts born in the 1960s did at the same age. However, this does not mean a vast majority of young Millennials are having less sex than previous generations. It just means that the amount of people born in the early 1990s who are not having sex is larger than a similar cohort from previous years.

Sex In The â€œGoldenâ€ Years

Many believe once you get older, the sex becomes less and less frequentÂ until it comes to a halt. This year, researchers have noted older adults are having more sex, and they agree it does get better with age. A survey conducted by the University of Guelph and the Sex Information and Education Council of Canada (SIECCAN) found older couples are starting to be active and get creative by adopting new positions and activities. Â People over 40 are still having sex, and becoming more adventurous in bed with more than half admitting they were more interested in trying new things to boost pleasure than they were a decade ago.

The elderly also continue to be sexually active, and consider sex essential to their well-being, happiness, and overall quality of life, especially after retirement. Some older adults abstain from sex due to health conditions, or loss of interest, but others refused to renounce it.

The concept of sex is pretty straight forward, but when it comes to the female orgasm, science is still figuring out one of the greatest mysteries.

This is what science has taught us about our sex lives in 2016. Photo courtesy of Everton Vila, Public Domain

Women And Sex

The Female Orgasm: Hot Spots Of Pleasure

New research pinpoints there's a new understanding of the female orgasm: It incorporates the external clitoral glands, the internal region around the G-spot that corresponds to the internal clitoral bulbs, the cervix, and the sensory stimulation of non-genital areas, such as the nipples. In other words, itâ€™s the stimulation of one or various erogenous zones that induces pleasure and orgasm during masturbation and sexual intercourse.

>Read More: Erotic Hypnosis For Sexual Climax With Mind Control

Researchers believe orgasms don't have to come from one site, nor from all sites, and most importantly, they don't have to be the same for every woman, nor for every sexual experience the woman has to be considered whole and valid. Orgasms are a very individual and subjective experience.

Female Orgasm Can Boost Fertility

Evolutionary biologists have debated the purpose of the female orgasm beyond just sexual pleasure. A study found orgasms could potentially boost fertility by as much as 15 percent. It performs some sort of â€œsperm-retention function,â€ meaning it could act as a suction to â€œsuck upâ€ semen into the vaginal canal. However, there are conflicting studies that debate whether the female orgasm has a biological purpose.

Women Receive Less Oral Sex

Not all is fair in love and oral sex. A study in The Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality found women are more than twice as likely to go down on their partners than men, but they are less likely to enjoy performing the act. The biggest gender difference in oral sex was the enjoyment of giving oral. More than half of men who had given cunnilingus reported enjoying it a lot, while an additional 41 percent enjoyed it somewhat, and 7 percent didn't enjoy it much or at all. Contrastingly, only 28 percent of the women who gave fellatio found it very pleasurable; for 55 it was somewhat pleasurable; and 17 percent didn't enjoy doing it. The findings suggest equal reciprocation could satisfy both partners.

>Read More: Does 'Going Down' On Your Partner Have Biological Roots?

Sex In Relationships

Good Sex In Long-Term Relationships

Couples often get into a rut about sex being boring and predictable, but great sex is possible in long-term relationships. A recent study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found long-term couples can reignite the spark, and have better sex, by being responsive to each other. Partners who are responsive to each other outside the bedroom are able to maintain their sexual desire.

More Sex Leads To Positive Feelings About Partners

Unsurprisingly, the more sex we have with our partners, the more likely weâ€™ll begin to have more positive feelings towards them. A study from Florida State University found the frequency with which couples have sex has no influence on whether or not they report being happy with their relationship, but their sexual frequency does influence their more spontaneous, automatic, gut-level feelings about their partners. Whether sex is happening once a month or once every few hours, itâ€™s really about quality over quantity.

In 2016, science has taught us there are shades of grey when it comes to sex â€" itâ€™s not as concrete or simple as we believe.

See Also:

>Sex Once A Week Makes For A Happy Life (Unless You're Single)

Straight Women Turned On By Attractive Women Are Either 'Bisexual Or Gay', Says Study

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Monday, January 7, 2013

How does one avoid sex when starting off a long term relationship?

12:56 PM Bilal Muazin No comments

Q. I have a boyfriend. He likes sex and I like sex. However, we want the relationship to be long term and if we engage in sex I have a fear that things will be different between us.

A. Speaking as a man, I will tell you that you are very smart to not "give it up" so easily. If you want a man to really, really love you, portraying yourself as "easy" almost certainly guarantees that any good man will pass over you, and the men who are interested in you would just be interested for the sex. When they reach the point in their life where they want a real girlfriend, or to think about getting married, it won't be with you.

In fact, when I was single, my biggest concern was not to meet a woman, but to NOT meet a sh*tty woman. When I did meet a woman that I was interested in, I always asked the all-important questions, such as what they did for a living, what their goals were, what they like to do for fun, and if they had any children. If I didn't like what I heard, then goodbye. Also, there were women that I met, and they wanted to "hook up" that same night, or women that I dated a few times, and they already wanted sex. And of course I said no way (and did not have sex with them).

Screening out all the losers worked very well for me, because I did not have a "real" girlfriend until I was 27 years old, and now I am 30 and we are married, and I am much happier than my friends and co-workers who had many girlfriends and years (decades?) of casual sex.

One of the reasons why I love my wife so much, and decided to get married with her is because when we were boyfriend and girlfriend, we did everything in steps, to make sure we really love each other. After we were together for more than 4 months and knew that we really loved each other, then we started to have a sexual relationship.

So in summary, don't be "easy", or else the man will never take you seriously. Especially if he is a man that has been with many women in his lifetime.

Original Question

How soon after having sex will you start to get morning sickness?

Q. Yesterday, I had unprotected sex and today I threw up without feeling sick like, at all. I'm just wondering, is it possible that this is morning sickness? or is it too soon after sex to be morning sickness?

A. Morning sickness generally doesn't set in until you are between 7-9 weeks pregnant... Some get it sooner, some get it later, some never get it at all, but on average, it takes quite some time before you get the classic pregnancy symptoms such as morning sickness.

It's not possible for you to have any symptoms if you just had sex yesterday b/c you're not even pregnant yet. It takes 2-3 days for the sperm to even FIND the egg and then 6-12 days for the egg to implant into the uterus and start producing the hormones that cause symptoms.

So you're just stressing out for no reason.

Original Question

How many days should I have sex after a positive ovulation test?

Q. Hello,
I had sex on 7/12. I got a positive ovulation test on 7/13. We had sex on 7/13 and 7/14 and will have sex today. Do you think that I have a good chance?

A. Sounds like you have timed it all very well.
If this cycle isn't successful then next month you can try and just have sex every second day and not test for Ovulation so you never feel 'pressured' while your TTC.

Having sex everyday does make the sperm not as strong for the long journey they have ahead of them to the F/T. Males produce more sperm everytime they ejaculate. They should ideally have about 36hours to let the sperm grow big and strong for the journey so sometimes it is better to have sex every 48 hours not every 24 hours. Because you want the sperm to be as strong as possible so you have a better chance of getting pregnant.

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Thursday, December 8, 2016

Hormonal contraceptives linked to more sex in committed relationships

1:57 AM Bilal Muazin No comments

Sex is quite wonderful when the goal is to have children. But sex can also serve as a "glue" in a committed relationship.

Most animals have periods when they come into heat, and outside these periods they don't find sex interesting at all. Humans, however, are constantly interested in sex. This sex interest can seem like a waste of energy, but an evolutionary perspective may explain why we function this way.

MORE SEX WITH PROGESTERONE AND COMMITMENT

A new study from the Norwegian University of Science and Technology (NTNU) and the University of New Mexico confirm that sex is important for pair-bonding between men and women in relationships. The researchers also found a correlation between the type of oral contraceptive women use and how often couples have sex. The findings were recently published in the scientific journal Evolution & Human Behavior.

"The function of sex in humans outside ovulation is an evolutionary mystery. But we believe that it has to do with binding the parties in the relationship together," says Leif Edward Ottesen Kennair, a professor of psychology at NTNU.

Kennair worked with Trond Viggo GrÃ¸ntvedt, Nick Grebe and University of New Mexico Professor Steve Gangestad to ask hundreds of Norwegian heterosexual women about contraception, sex and relationships.

Their results show that of women in long-term relationships and who are using hormonal contraception, those who are more committed to their relationships have more sex with partners, as one might expect.

"But this association was especially true when the contraceptive that women used had potent levels of synthetic hormones that mimic the effects of the natural hormone progesterone, and lower levels of the hormone estrogen," Gangestad said.

"We're talking about intercourse here, not other types of sex like oral sex, masturbation and such. This strengthens the idea that sex outside the ovulation phase has a function besides just pleasure," says GrÃ¸ntvedt.

BIG DIFFERENCES BETWEEN TYPES OF CONTRACEPTIVES

Hormonal contraceptives, like birth control pills, implantable rods and patches, contain two types of hormones: estrogen, which naturally peaks just before ovulation when naturally cycling women can conceive offspring, and hormones that have the same effect as progesterone, which naturally peaks during the extended sexual phase, a time when offspring cannot be conceived. The levels of each hormone type vary in different contraceptives. Hence, some contraceptives mimic hormones that are more characteristic of ovulation, whereas others mimic hormones when women can't conceive. The women who used contraception with more estrogen were most sexually active when they were in a less committed relationship. On the other hand, women who used contraception with more progesterone were the most sexually active when they were faithful and loyal to their partners.

"Before we did this study, we didn't know how much difference there was between the two types of hormonal contraceptives," says GrÃ¸ntvedt.

A CREDIBLE HOLISTIC PICTURE

The researchers surveyed two groups of women. All the women were using hormonal contraception and were in committed, heterosexual relationships. One group consisted of 112 women that researchers followed over a 12-week period. The women were asked how often and when in their cycle they had sex.

The second sample group consisted of 275 women in long-term relationships who used hormonal contraception. This group was not followed over time, but the researchers asked them how many times they had had sex in the past week. This type of study - using data collected at a specific point in time - is called a cross-sectional study. Both groups were asked to indicate the type of contraception they were using, and if a pill, which brand it was.

"Since we examined these two groups using different methods - a snapshot for the one group and a longitudinal study for the other - we can be confident that the results provide a reliable overall picture," says Dr GrÃ¸ntvedt.

NATURAL OR SYNTHETIC HORMONES APPEARED TO BE THE SAME

The basis for the NTNU study was a 2013 American study, where 50 women and their partners answered a series of questions about their relationships, menstrual cycles and frequency of sex. None of these women were using any kind of hormonal contraception, so only their natural hormones were involved. The study showed that women initiated sex more in the extended sexual phase - when they were not ovulating and progesterone was the dominant hormone - if they were invested in the relationship.

NTNU researchers wanted to verify the American results in their study, but with participants who were using a hormonal contraceptive that simulates a natural cycle. Their results were the same as in the US study, in which women were not using any hormonal birth control.

The researchers were thus able to show that how often women have sex is linked to how committed they feel towards their partner and the type of hormone they are governed by, whether natural or synthetic.

"A lot of social psychology studies that have led to cool discoveries through the ages have lost status, because it hasn't been possible to copy them and verify the results. We are extremely pleased to have been able to verify the results of the study by Grebe and his colleagues, and we are equally pleased that we have also made new discoveries," Kennair says.

Source:

Norwegian University of Science and Technology

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Americans have been lying about the benefits of abstinence only education and the dangers of porn for decades â€” Quartz

7:30 AM Bilal Muazin No comments

Over the past few weeks, as the idea of a Trump presidency has gone from unthinkable joke to horrifying reality, Iâ€™ve heard a new term making the rounds, particularly among my friends in media. â€œWeâ€™re living in a post-truth era,â€ they tell me, citing Trumpâ€™s many lies and contradictions, the rise of fake news sites, and a growing distrust of the mainstream media as evidence that the American people are increasingly distanced from reality.

I think this is a fairly accurate assessment. But as someone whoâ€™s been writing and educating Americans about sex-related topics for over a decade, I can testify to the fact that weâ€™ve been living in a â€œpost-truthâ€ era for years. Quite frankly, Iâ€™ve been dealing with a post-truth world for my entire career.

The easiest entry point for understanding Americaâ€™s fuzzy relationship between sex and fact is the sad state of American sex education. According to the Guttmacher Institute, a mere 13 US states require sex education to be â€œmedically accurate.â€ To put that in context, 39 states require HIV education to either stress or cover abstinence, in spite of the fact that thereâ€™s little proof that a focus on abstinence actually helps delay sex.

Indeed, Americaâ€™s two-decade long love affair with abstinence-only education (which president Barack Obama has attempted to put an end to) feels like the epitome of â€œpost-truth.â€ Study after study shows that abstinence-only education doesnâ€™t reduce the rate of teen pregnancy, delay the age at which young people start having sex, or lower rates of STI transmission. But as long as telling kids not to have sex feels like the solution, these misguided lesson plans will likely persist. (In fact, it might actually get worse; president-elect Donald Trump and vice president-elect Mike Pence are not known for an enlightened outlook on sexuality. Pence once said on national television that condoms are â€œvery, very poor protectionâ€ against STIs).

This aversion to the truth is much more than a failing of political conservatives. In my experience, liberals are just as willing to ignore the facts when itâ€™s convenient to their larger narrative.

Over the years Iâ€™ve rolled my eyes at numerous acts of â€œjournalismâ€ that perpetuated half-truths and outright lies about the sex and porn industriesâ€"often in the supposed service of protecting women. >The Price of Pleasure, for exampleâ€"an anti-porn documentary created by NYU professor Chyng Sunâ€"misled many of its interview subjects and used manipulative editing to craft a vision of a ruthlessly exploitative porn industry that few porn performers recognize. A piece in The Atlantic once positioned double anal, an extreme sex act that even the most practiced porn performers need to warm up to, as a routine occurrence. And letâ€™s not forget the New York Timesâ€™ own Nicholas Kristof, whose factually inaccurate writing has peddled numerous myths about sex work and who has positioned himself as a voice of authority in spite of numerous sex workers whoâ€™ve contested his version of the â€œtruth.â€

The topic of sex is vulnerable to this sort of misinformation for a number of reasons. Itâ€™s an intensely personal experience, and one most of us have some degree of experience with. This creates a personal sense of authorityâ€"even when we lack any facts or expertise beyond our own limited experience. Compounding this false confidence is the persistent taboo against public discussions of sexuality. Stigma around sex prevents us from openly and honestly discussing the topic, adding further fuel to the many â€œtruthyâ€ statements that circulate about human sexual experience.

A slumping news industry has coincided with the rise of social mediaâ€"a phenomenon that has made news consumption more individualized and created information bubbles that help reinforce what feels right over whatâ€™s actually true.While unfortunate, in this context it makes sense that weâ€™re seeing a spread of inaccuracy in our discussions of politics, the environment, and other hot-button topics that have historically been more buffered from falsehoods than sex.

But if my work in sex education offers me a deeper understanding of the factors that encourage and enable a collective divorce from reality, it also gives me hope that post-truth isnâ€™t a permanent state of being. If we stay committed to pursuing and promoting a reality-based vision of the world, itâ€™s possible to overcome seemingly overwhelming odds.

On the same Tuesday that Trump secured the White House, Californiaâ€™s adult industry battled misinformation, ignorance, and a well-funded propaganda machine to defeat the egregious Proposition 60. Opposed by many health organizations and practically all of Californiaâ€™s adult film actors, the proposition would have violated worker privacy and potentially made it possible for regular Californians to sue porn producers if they believed actors werenâ€™t wearing condoms. Around the globe, sex workers have banded together to make their voices and opinions heard, and are slowly chipping away at the post-truth ethos thatâ€™s oppressed their industry for decades (if not centuries).

And even though government-funded sex education is often mediocreâ€"if not outright harmfulâ€"a number of independent sources have harnessed the internet to provide smart, thoughtful, and fact-based sex education to young people around the globe. This is the lesson activists and politicians alike need to internalize in the age of Trump. With enough commitment, dedication, and persistence, the truth can ultimately win out.

Follow Lux on Twitter @luxalptraum. Learn how to write for Quartz Ideas. We welcome your comments at ideas@qz.com.

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Tuesday, February 5, 2013

What is the best sex toy website to order from?

9:37 AM Bilal Muazin No comments

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Sunday, February 10, 2013

How to get rid of my fuck buddy?

12:19 PM Bilal Muazin No comments

Q. I have been fuck buddies with this guy for a real long time, and I want to break it off. The problem is he has an anger problem sometimes and I don't know how he will react. Please help me.

A. Take weed works wonder :-)

Original Question

Where to find good looking guys to be fuck buddies?

Q. So. Yes im a guy and I considered myself all my life to be bi sexual. But the problem is that ive never explored my male to male relatioship side of my bisexuality. So the actual question is where can I find a good looking guys willing to be fuck buddies? They have to be muscular.tall.blonde or not black but drake sorta color. Have long dicks. Sixpacks. And a good face. Any ideas. And I wanna keep this anonymous.

A. craigslist
adam4adam
grindr
Manhunt

Original Question

What do you say when your ex boyfriend tells you he's sad because he thinks hes a fuck up?

Q. My ex boyfriend hates life and I want him to feel better about himself even tho he is kinda a fuck up I want to help him feel better! Help!!!

A. He is not your responsibility. He is your ex. If he doesn't want to be a fuck up, then he is the one who needs to clean up his act, not you.

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Wednesday, January 1, 2014

What's the difference between having sex and making love?

5:12 AM Bilal Muazin No comments

Q. "Making love" sounds like it has more of an emotional component to it, whereas "having sex" sounds like it is just relief for horny-ness. But what's the actual difference? For example, does "making love" include more foreplay? Is it followed by cuddling afterwards? Could you describe a typical "lovemaking" session and a typical "sex" session?

Also, which is more enjoyable?

Any answers will be appreciated :)

A. To me making love means that you have an emotional attachment towards the person. That you care deeply about them and sex is more enjoyable because your both very much into it. You make love to show affection not just get your hornyness out. It can last long and it's very connecting. You feel closer to the person afterwords and are overcome with emotions that you feel for eachother.

Having sex is just like what you said... To get your hornyness out. Usually it's a quickie and you don't have that much of an attachment to the person. Usually it doesn't involve cuddling like making love, but can include some foreplay.

To me making love is so much more enjoyable. Me and my man for instance have sex or quickies and it's not as much enjoyable as making love. I feel so lived and cared for by him and just could feel the rest of my life with him to be something I desperatly crave. I also tend to smile a lot afterwords lol.

Making love session;
Long foreplay
Sex
Cuddling
Emotional overwhelmness.

Sex session;
Short foreplay if any
Sex
Could include some cuddling

Original Question

What's the difference between having sex and making love?

A. Sex having it, getting up and leaving. There is no tenderness, no attachment.

Making love means what it says. You two are connected, have a relationship (marriage hopefully) and you can trust the person not to tell friends and family what goes on between you too. Mutual trust and true love.

Look it at this way:

Would you like a hot dog or a fine 6 course meal?

Hot dog = sex

Fine Restaurant 6 course meal = the good stuff:)

Original Question

What is the difference between "making love" and regular sex?

Q. My boyfriend and I are intimate together and he is enjoying our emotional connection. Recently he said he wants to experience "making love" for the 1st time with me.

We've already had sex and when I asked him what he envisioned he wasn't sure. I'm not sure either!

I imagine we'll create a romantic setting and engage in more eye contact and take a slower pace.

Any other suggestions?

A. Hi Mommygirl13

You want to know the difference between making love and having sex?

Having sex is when two people use one another to reach orgasim.

Making love is when two people give to one another unconditionally in order to give pleasure to the other. In reality it doesnt really happen, for the act of love making as we call it, is an egoistic, not an altruistic act. We may fool ourselves that we do it for them, but if we did not want it for ourselves, we could not move a muscle.

Love is the ultimate expression of our egoism, and sex is the ultimate pleasure we can experience in this world.

Altruistic love: http://www.kabbalah.info/engkab/life-love-family/kabbalah-relationships?p_options=1#fairytale-love-is-just-that--e2-80-93-a-fairytale

Why is sex so important? http://www.kabbalah.info/engkab/life-love-family/kabbalah-relationships?p_options=2#why-are-we-so-preoccupied-with-sex-3f

I hope this helps
Shalom
Mem

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Thursday, December 8, 2016

Sex: Why It Feels So Good

Who's Getting It On Vs. Whoâ€™s Not

Sexless Millennials

Sex In The â€œGoldenâ€ Years

This is what science has taught us about our sex lives in 2016. Photo courtesy of Everton Vila, Public Domain

Women And Sex

The Female Orgasm: Hot Spots Of Pleasure

Female Orgasm Can Boost Fertility

Women Receive Less Oral Sex

Sex In Relationships

Good Sex In Long-Term Relationships

More Sex Leads To Positive Feelings About Partners

Monday, January 7, 2013

Thursday, December 8, 2016

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Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Sex In The â€œGoldenâ€ Years