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Thursday, December 8, 2016

Female Orgasm To Oral Sex; 9 Surprising Things Science Taught Us About Our Sex Lives In 2016

10:00 AM Bilal Muazin No comments

We're constantly reminded of sex, whether by a sultry magazine cover atÂ the newsstand, a steamy scene at the movies, or a night atÂ the bar. Science gotÂ its hands dirty this past year trying toÂ unravel the latest patterns and trends in the field of sex research, aÂ popular and often controversial area of interest. Here's what we learned. Â

Sex: Why It Feels So Good

Many people will admit they love sex because it feels so good. Itâ€™s a source of pleasurable sensations that facilitate an emotional connection between two people, but science has found itâ€™s also an altered state of consciousness. A study in Socioaffective Neuroscience & PsychologyÂ found sexual pleasureÂ floods the brain with a surge of neurochemicals â€" chemical messengers that forge emotions, feelings of attachment, and even love. The level of pleasure thatâ€™s felt is linked to the release of chemicals, which can be used to measure the intensity of an orgasm.

We discovered that if sexual stimulation is intense enough, and goes on long enough, synchronized activity could spread throughout the brain. This intense focused attention outcompetes usual self-awareness for access to consciousness, and so produces a state of sensory absorption and trance.

>Read More: How The Brain Functions During An Orgasm

So, how long should this euphoric-like state last?

In an article for The Conversationalist, Dr. Brendan Zietsch, a psychologist from the University of Queensland, focused on how long heterosexual couples report penetrative sex actually lasts. The findings revealed the average time for each couple, across all the times they had sex, ranged from 33 seconds to 44 minutes. Meanwhile, the average across all couples was 5.4 minutes. This means a couple will typically go for an average of 5.4 minutes every time they have sex. Zietsch suspects penis shape could influence how long men last in bed.

Who's Getting It On Vs. Whoâ€™s Not

Sexless Millennials

Dating apps like Tinder, frequently used by Millennials, haveÂ led casual sex to become more common. Naturally, we would assume Millennials are having more sex, but a study in Archives of Sexual Behavior found more young people are living sexless lives than their counterparts born in the 1960s did at the same age. However, this does not mean a vast majority of young Millennials are having less sex than previous generations. It just means that the amount of people born in the early 1990s who are not having sex is larger than a similar cohort from previous years.

Sex In The â€œGoldenâ€ Years

Many believe once you get older, the sex becomes less and less frequentÂ until it comes to a halt. This year, researchers have noted older adults are having more sex, and they agree it does get better with age. A survey conducted by the University of Guelph and the Sex Information and Education Council of Canada (SIECCAN) found older couples are starting to be active and get creative by adopting new positions and activities. Â People over 40 are still having sex, and becoming more adventurous in bed with more than half admitting they were more interested in trying new things to boost pleasure than they were a decade ago.

The elderly also continue to be sexually active, and consider sex essential to their well-being, happiness, and overall quality of life, especially after retirement. Some older adults abstain from sex due to health conditions, or loss of interest, but others refused to renounce it.

The concept of sex is pretty straight forward, but when it comes to the female orgasm, science is still figuring out one of the greatest mysteries.

This is what science has taught us about our sex lives in 2016. Photo courtesy of Everton Vila, Public Domain

Women And Sex

The Female Orgasm: Hot Spots Of Pleasure

New research pinpoints there's a new understanding of the female orgasm: It incorporates the external clitoral glands, the internal region around the G-spot that corresponds to the internal clitoral bulbs, the cervix, and the sensory stimulation of non-genital areas, such as the nipples. In other words, itâ€™s the stimulation of one or various erogenous zones that induces pleasure and orgasm during masturbation and sexual intercourse.

>Read More: Erotic Hypnosis For Sexual Climax With Mind Control

Researchers believe orgasms don't have to come from one site, nor from all sites, and most importantly, they don't have to be the same for every woman, nor for every sexual experience the woman has to be considered whole and valid. Orgasms are a very individual and subjective experience.

Female Orgasm Can Boost Fertility

Evolutionary biologists have debated the purpose of the female orgasm beyond just sexual pleasure. A study found orgasms could potentially boost fertility by as much as 15 percent. It performs some sort of â€œsperm-retention function,â€ meaning it could act as a suction to â€œsuck upâ€ semen into the vaginal canal. However, there are conflicting studies that debate whether the female orgasm has a biological purpose.

Women Receive Less Oral Sex

Not all is fair in love and oral sex. A study in The Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality found women are more than twice as likely to go down on their partners than men, but they are less likely to enjoy performing the act. The biggest gender difference in oral sex was the enjoyment of giving oral. More than half of men who had given cunnilingus reported enjoying it a lot, while an additional 41 percent enjoyed it somewhat, and 7 percent didn't enjoy it much or at all. Contrastingly, only 28 percent of the women who gave fellatio found it very pleasurable; for 55 it was somewhat pleasurable; and 17 percent didn't enjoy doing it. The findings suggest equal reciprocation could satisfy both partners.

>Read More: Does 'Going Down' On Your Partner Have Biological Roots?

Sex In Relationships

Good Sex In Long-Term Relationships

Couples often get into a rut about sex being boring and predictable, but great sex is possible in long-term relationships. A recent study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found long-term couples can reignite the spark, and have better sex, by being responsive to each other. Partners who are responsive to each other outside the bedroom are able to maintain their sexual desire.

More Sex Leads To Positive Feelings About Partners

Unsurprisingly, the more sex we have with our partners, the more likely weâ€™ll begin to have more positive feelings towards them. A study from Florida State University found the frequency with which couples have sex has no influence on whether or not they report being happy with their relationship, but their sexual frequency does influence their more spontaneous, automatic, gut-level feelings about their partners. Whether sex is happening once a month or once every few hours, itâ€™s really about quality over quantity.

In 2016, science has taught us there are shades of grey when it comes to sex â€" itâ€™s not as concrete or simple as we believe.

See Also:

>Sex Once A Week Makes For A Happy Life (Unless You're Single)

Straight Women Turned On By Attractive Women Are Either 'Bisexual Or Gay', Says Study

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Americans have been lying about the benefits of abstinence only education and the dangers of porn for decades â€” Quartz

7:30 AM Bilal Muazin No comments

Over the past few weeks, as the idea of a Trump presidency has gone from unthinkable joke to horrifying reality, Iâ€™ve heard a new term making the rounds, particularly among my friends in media. â€œWeâ€™re living in a post-truth era,â€ they tell me, citing Trumpâ€™s many lies and contradictions, the rise of fake news sites, and a growing distrust of the mainstream media as evidence that the American people are increasingly distanced from reality.

I think this is a fairly accurate assessment. But as someone whoâ€™s been writing and educating Americans about sex-related topics for over a decade, I can testify to the fact that weâ€™ve been living in a â€œpost-truthâ€ era for years. Quite frankly, Iâ€™ve been dealing with a post-truth world for my entire career.

The easiest entry point for understanding Americaâ€™s fuzzy relationship between sex and fact is the sad state of American sex education. According to the Guttmacher Institute, a mere 13 US states require sex education to be â€œmedically accurate.â€ To put that in context, 39 states require HIV education to either stress or cover abstinence, in spite of the fact that thereâ€™s little proof that a focus on abstinence actually helps delay sex.

Indeed, Americaâ€™s two-decade long love affair with abstinence-only education (which president Barack Obama has attempted to put an end to) feels like the epitome of â€œpost-truth.â€ Study after study shows that abstinence-only education doesnâ€™t reduce the rate of teen pregnancy, delay the age at which young people start having sex, or lower rates of STI transmission. But as long as telling kids not to have sex feels like the solution, these misguided lesson plans will likely persist. (In fact, it might actually get worse; president-elect Donald Trump and vice president-elect Mike Pence are not known for an enlightened outlook on sexuality. Pence once said on national television that condoms are â€œvery, very poor protectionâ€ against STIs).

This aversion to the truth is much more than a failing of political conservatives. In my experience, liberals are just as willing to ignore the facts when itâ€™s convenient to their larger narrative.

Over the years Iâ€™ve rolled my eyes at numerous acts of â€œjournalismâ€ that perpetuated half-truths and outright lies about the sex and porn industriesâ€"often in the supposed service of protecting women. >The Price of Pleasure, for exampleâ€"an anti-porn documentary created by NYU professor Chyng Sunâ€"misled many of its interview subjects and used manipulative editing to craft a vision of a ruthlessly exploitative porn industry that few porn performers recognize. A piece in The Atlantic once positioned double anal, an extreme sex act that even the most practiced porn performers need to warm up to, as a routine occurrence. And letâ€™s not forget the New York Timesâ€™ own Nicholas Kristof, whose factually inaccurate writing has peddled numerous myths about sex work and who has positioned himself as a voice of authority in spite of numerous sex workers whoâ€™ve contested his version of the â€œtruth.â€

The topic of sex is vulnerable to this sort of misinformation for a number of reasons. Itâ€™s an intensely personal experience, and one most of us have some degree of experience with. This creates a personal sense of authorityâ€"even when we lack any facts or expertise beyond our own limited experience. Compounding this false confidence is the persistent taboo against public discussions of sexuality. Stigma around sex prevents us from openly and honestly discussing the topic, adding further fuel to the many â€œtruthyâ€ statements that circulate about human sexual experience.

A slumping news industry has coincided with the rise of social mediaâ€"a phenomenon that has made news consumption more individualized and created information bubbles that help reinforce what feels right over whatâ€™s actually true.While unfortunate, in this context it makes sense that weâ€™re seeing a spread of inaccuracy in our discussions of politics, the environment, and other hot-button topics that have historically been more buffered from falsehoods than sex.

But if my work in sex education offers me a deeper understanding of the factors that encourage and enable a collective divorce from reality, it also gives me hope that post-truth isnâ€™t a permanent state of being. If we stay committed to pursuing and promoting a reality-based vision of the world, itâ€™s possible to overcome seemingly overwhelming odds.

On the same Tuesday that Trump secured the White House, Californiaâ€™s adult industry battled misinformation, ignorance, and a well-funded propaganda machine to defeat the egregious Proposition 60. Opposed by many health organizations and practically all of Californiaâ€™s adult film actors, the proposition would have violated worker privacy and potentially made it possible for regular Californians to sue porn producers if they believed actors werenâ€™t wearing condoms. Around the globe, sex workers have banded together to make their voices and opinions heard, and are slowly chipping away at the post-truth ethos thatâ€™s oppressed their industry for decades (if not centuries).

And even though government-funded sex education is often mediocreâ€"if not outright harmfulâ€"a number of independent sources have harnessed the internet to provide smart, thoughtful, and fact-based sex education to young people around the globe. This is the lesson activists and politicians alike need to internalize in the age of Trump. With enough commitment, dedication, and persistence, the truth can ultimately win out.

Follow Lux on Twitter @luxalptraum. Learn how to write for Quartz Ideas. We welcome your comments at ideas@qz.com.

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Friday, February 2, 2018

Upscale Lingerie Store Employee Reveals What Her Job Was Like, And Some Of Her Stories Will Surprise You | Bored Panda

11:00 AM Bilal Muazin No comments

Upscale Lingerie Store Employee Reveals What Her Job Was Like, And Some Of Her Stories Will Surprise You

Every workplace has its own rules, but have you thought about what the inner workings of a fancy lingerie store are? It seems that there are only so many people who have experienced it from the inside, surrounding the place with a mysterious aura. Somebodysmama has decided to tell what really goes down behind closed lingerie shop doors, and their stories sound like a collection of hilariously intimate journal entries.

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“My first job out of high school was at an upscale lingerie store,” they said. “Working [there] was different than I expected.” All in all, they call the experience as a “fun” one. Till it lasted. “I was fired for lates. I was 18 and an idiot, trying to juggle school and work. I wish it had been for something funny.” Scroll down to check out what the bra slinger went through!
“My first job out of high school was at an upscale lingerie store. Here are some of my stories”

“It was a shock that people were permitted to try the undergarments in their bare flesh. Even thongs (which we all know go up where the poopoo comes out) were permitted.”
“Because of this strange and gross practice, we were allowed to “damage out” questionable items once a client left
It was usually a “code brown”, but there are other colors ladies can leave in things (because ladies can be grooooooss)”

“A coworker once screamed “code brown” on the sales floor and I ran to find her pointing at a bulging pair of hanging panties. Stains are one thing, but chunks? I grabbed the trash can, intending to drop it in (hanger and all) and then I saw the gold-flake wrapper and laughed. It was chocolate. A kid had obviously chewed and then spit a whole bar into the crotch of expensive, lacy underwear. Gross, but I don’t blame him. Our chocolate was nasty.”
“It’s widely understood that most women are wearing the wrong size bra, but it was frustrating to discover what boobs look like in a fitting bra. That voluptuous curve of a barely concealed breast peaking over a cup in a lingerie ad is achieved with under-padding in a too-small bra. Convincing women they will not look like that if their bras are comfortable (and still making a sale) took finesse. I’d usually convince them to just buy something skimpy that made them feel amazing for when they took off their all-day boob gear.”
“I was not prepared for how many grieving people would come in to purchase final nightgowns for their beloved mother/wife/sister or daughter for burial. It was often enough that we had an unmarked section of modest nightgowns we curated just for that purpose.”
“My best customer was a man. I would hold one extra-large item of every new style that arrived for him, and he would buy every item he tried on. I say he was my customer, because I was the only one that would let him use the changing room :( it was a less kind time for men like him”
“My second best customer was a “homeless” woman. She was a world-class panhandler, and would often come in wearing her raggedy street attire, but this lady made BANK. Under that grungy coat and tattered sweater she wore our most expensive bras. Things I couldn’t afford.”
“Don’t laugh, but I was shocked by all the boobs. So. Many. Boobs. We had a professional tone and environment that put women at ease like they were getting a spa day, so it was normal for them to flop them out as I was closing the changing room door behind us. The first bridal party I served all crammed together with little me and just disrobed left and right. I ended up in a sea of boobs that all wanted measuring. I was rattled. I eventually became boob blind, but the first few months it always gave me pause when a lady was staring at me with her googly chest eyeballs.”
“So… deodorant. If you want another human to put their face near your cleavage and measure your rib cage, consider some deodorant. And a shower, maybe. Or, if you live that stank life, at least buy something.
It was fun. I was sad when I got fired.
Edit to add: I was fired for lates. I was 18 and an idiot trying to juggle school and work. I wish it had been for something funny.”

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Friday, December 9, 2016

Ex-Wisconsin teacher sent to prison for having sex with student

8:00 AM Bilal Muazin No comments

A former Wisconsin English teacher cried in court after she was sentenced to two years behind bars for having sex with a student.

Sara Domres, 29, who has no prior criminal record, must also register as a sex offender and is banned from having contact with the pupil and his family, the Journal Sentinel reported. When she leaves prison, she will be on three years probation and a supervision order.

The former West Berlin High School teacher in August admitted to having sex with a 16-year-old sophomore in her English class after sheâ€™d developed a relationship with him over the course of the 2014-15 school year.

Domres often referred to the student as â€œbaby booâ€ in the 1,100 text messages the pair exchanged over the course of their relationship.

Wisconsin teacher had sex with her student at Motel 6

Sara Domres was sentenced to two years in prison.

(Police Photo)

â€œBaby Boo, I love you now & forever! Please be mine forever & ever. Always your baby girl. P.S. Good luck on your quiz [smiley face],â€ she once wrote to him, according to court documents.

The student said their first sexual encounter occurred at a park-and-ride lot in July 2015, when he was only 16.

And while Domres only admitted to having sex with him on two occasions, he said they had intercourse between 10 and 15 times, including at a Motel six the night of Domresâ€™ husbandâ€™s bachelor party in October 2015, the teenager told police.

Investigators found evidence that shows the boy's phone had been connected to the motelâ€™s WiFi the same date motel records showed Domres reserved a room.

Wisconsin teacher admits to having sex with 16-year-old student

The student also admitted to police that his teacher sent him selfies while she was on her honeymoon.

A few of the studentâ€™s friends reported Domres back in January and the School District of New Berlin, located just outside Milwaukee, fired her the same month.

Former West Berlin English teacher Sara Domres is no longer allowed to work at a school.

(Fox6 NOW)

In her statement to the court, Domres said she was passionate for her teaching profession and detailed the hours she spent outside of work assisting her students and acting as their confidante, the Journal Sentinel reported.

She said the loss her job and the on-going media coverage surrounding her case made her feel as though â€œthe consequences of my actions have been enforced tenfold.â€

The prosecutor noted however, that had she not been a teacher, her dozen-plus sexual encounters with her student would have only been misdemeanors â€" because of the power and influence teachers hold over their students, her trysts are considered a felony.

â€œI donâ€™t know how much brighter the line could be,â€ Assistant District Attorney Ted Szczupakiewicz said. â€œThereâ€™s no gray area. Itâ€™s absolute.â€

Tags:: teachers busted; wisconsin; sex crimes; crimes against children

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Theyâ€™ll only have sex with smart people

9:00 AM Bilal Muazin No comments

Are you the smartest person in the bedroom? If so, you may be sapiosexual, and wasting time by going after hotties who think string theory has something to do with choosing Oxford-style shoes over loafers. According to Vice, sapiosexuals are indulging in the hot fetish of the moment: viewing intelligence as the topmost turn-on.

The term, coined by a live-blogger who calls himself wolfieboy, just might make it into the next edition of Merriam-Webster Dictionary. Regardless, it already qualifies as a descriptor on OkCupid and inspired a Tinder-esque dating app for smart people, called, appropriately enough, Sapio. The fact that the big complaint about Sapio is a lack of participants maybe reflects the selectivity of those who embrace this sexual preference.

But with the growing desirability of Silicon Valley nerds, it seems that sapiosexuality is on the rise. â€œWhat were once fringe interests reserved for the stereotypically introverted, intellectual, â€˜nerdsâ€™ of the world â€" comic books, characters, and comic-inspired films and TV shows, sci-fi and fantasy like the â€˜Star Trekâ€™ reboots and â€˜Game of Thronesâ€™ â€" are now essential features of 21st-century American culture,â€ Lora Adair, a professor of evolutionary psychology at Lyon College, told Vice. Her point being that the pursuit of classically geeky interests now comes with cachet.

For those who want to appeal to sapiosexuals, the website New Love Times offers a few tips that go beyond turning public libraries into pickup spots. It suggests that revealing some ignorance is an aphrodisiac for potential partners who enjoy showing their intelligence, flying your nerd-flag proudly can be alluring, and unconventional dating spots â€" adventurous ethnic food will trump a steak every time â€" may seal the deal. Also: Make sure youâ€™re pronouncing words properly and using correct grammar.

While there has been some blowback â€" sapiosexual doubters describe it as pretentious, exclusionary and not even worthy of its own distinction â€" blogger Hazel Leese clearly prefers brains to brawn. â€œIf a man uses a word Iâ€™ve never heard before, my attraction radar surges to Defcon 1,â€ she writes. â€œLikewise if he uses somewhat poetic, non-standard language, my brain enters orgasmatron mode. Long [and] complicated words, beautiful poetry, technical phrases that I donâ€™t understand are all tantamount to talking dirty to me. In other words, I like big words and I cannot lie.â€

Additionally, we presume, when giving brainy dudes her phone number, she doesnâ€™t need to find pen and paper. Theyâ€™re smart enough to commit 10 digits to memory.

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