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Friday, February 2, 2018

Announcing In Intimate Detail: How to Choose, Wear, and Love Lingerie!

4:00 PM Bilal Muazin No comments

How to Choose, Wear, and Love Lingerie!

Want to jump straight to pre-ordering? Click here!

I tried to come up with some kind of catchy or witty introduction, but I can’t because I’m just too excited. I can finally share what I’ve been working on for the the last year – my debut book from Ten Speed Press, titled In Intimate Detail: How to Choose, Wear and Love Lingerie.
It’s hard to put into words how I feel right now. For most of the past year, my book has existed mostly as an idea, an outline, a manuscript. It’s been a dream. But now that there’s a cover, a release date, and people can place orders…it feels so real.
Writing a book is something I’ve had on my wishlist for awhile, but it always felt like one of those pie-in-the-sky type things. Other people are book authors. Not me. But I said yes when asked to write this book because I felt like I had something to say.
Many of you know my background. My first career was in nonprofits. For most of the last decade, I’ve lived on the West Coast. To a lot of industry people, I’m an outsider, an interloper. But instead of seeing that as a negative, I firmly believe it’s a positive. Being an outsider means you ask the questions other people take for granted. It means you explore and you inquire and you refuse to accept the status quo.

Over the last ten years of lingerie blogging, I’ve learned so much about intimate apparel, and this book shares what I know with you. Lingerie is a strange, confusing world. So much of the “information” out there is actually misinformation, rooted in myth and superstition. But fiction doesn’t help when it comes to making the right lingerie decisions for your taste, lifestyle, size, and budget.

In Intimate Detail pulls back the curtain, sharing the kind of insider knowledge many experts take for granted. It’s an honest, judgment-free guide you can turn to again and again – not just this year or next, but 5 or 10 years from now. I wanted In Intimate Detail to be a book you could feel comfortable giving to your mom or sister or cousin or aunt, to a friend who’s new to lingerie or recently transitioning, or to a spouse who’s recently entered menopause or been diagnosed with breast cancer.
After reading this book, you’ll not only know the language of lingerie – the terminology and definitions you need to help find the pieces you want – you’ll also know “hidden” information like the purpose of bra seams, the difference between a fabric and a fiber, and the qualities of different types of lingerie materials. And, of course, the book has size charts, sample wardrobes, and appendices for various fit concerns, such as lingerie for trans women, pregnant people, and those with disabilities.

More than anything, I want In Intimate Detail to feel like a warm, welcoming invitation into the world of lingerie. It’s the kind of book you can curl up with wrapped in your favorite blanket holding a cup of tea. It truly represents everything I wish I’d known when I started blogging, and it’s the best book I could possibly write. If you love lingerie or if you love The Lingerie Addict, then you’ll love In Intimate Detail.
One thing you’ll notice, especially if you view the preview images on this page, is that In Intimate Detail has no photography. Instead, the book is full of beautiful watercolor illustrations by Sandy Wirt. That’s intentional. I want you to imagine yourself in this pieces. To fully immerse yourself and be open to all your possibilities…even if they’re options you’ve not considered before. In Intimate Detail will help you build the lingerie wardrobe of your dreams. Because you deserve beautiful underthings. And you deserve to feel beautiful in your lingerie.

In Intimate Detail
will officially arrive in-stores on August 28, 2018, but you can pre-order and reserve your copy now. Pre-ordering not only ensures you get one of the very first copies, it also gets you a few special goodies we’re putting together just for pre-order readers.
It’s hard to put into words just how happy I am right now. I’m so happy with the book and the cover and the art. I’m happy with the foreword from the legendary Dita Von Teese. I’m happy you’re here to share this moment with me. And I’m happy about the book tour I’m planning for later this year where I’ll get to meet some of you.

You can pre-order In Intimate Detail from a wide range of booksellers including Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Books-a-Million, iBooks, Powell’s, Hudson Booksellers, IndieBound, and Penguin Random House. And please tell your friends! Share the cover, share sneak peeks, and let’s help everyone discover the power of beautiful lingerie.
One last thing! When you place your pre-order, email me a screenshot or forward a copy of your receipt to book@thelingerieaddict.com. I want to make sure you get on the list for the pre-order goodies the publisher and I are putting together (It’s going to be a really special exclusive, and it will only be available to pre-orders.).
I don’t talk a lot about myself and my feelings online, but this is simultaneously the most excited and the most scared I’ve ever been. But it also feels like the moment I’ve been waiting for ever since I started blogging. Lingerie is for everyone to enjoy. I firmly believe that. And if you believe it too, then In Intimate Detail is for you.

Thanks for reading our article Announcing In Intimate Detail: How to Choose, Wear, and Love Lingerie!. Please share it with pleasure.
Sincery Sex
SRC: http://www.thelingerieaddict.com/2018/02/lingerie-addict-book-in-intimate-detail.html

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Saturday, December 10, 2016

Bad Sex in Fiction Awards ceremony celebrates 24th year

5:00 PM Bilal Muazin No comments

â€œItâ€™s terribly British, isnâ€™t it,â€ said the man next to me at last nightâ€™s Bad Sex in Fiction Awards ceremony at the (appropriately named) In and Out Club in St Jamesâ€™s. He was referring, of course, to the yearly bash â€" now in its 24th year â€" in which the Literary Review magazine nominates half a dozen passages from contemporary fiction seen to represent sex at its most cringeworthy, reads them out to champagne-infused guffaws, and then awards a prize to the author of the worst.

It is a terribly British event, but it also provides a snarky satisfaction that transcends nationality. Because for anyone with the sneaking suspicion that the sexual act is better done or seen than artistically described â€" that its complex idiosyncrasy is one of the few things that lie outside the remit of the otherwise resourceful English language â€" the Bad Sex Awards hits its mark.

Yet as the entrants this year make clear, writing about sex with flagrant abominableness is still cheerily far from going out of fashion. Hearty examples were a passage from Blue Peter presenter Janet Ellisâ€™s The Butcherâ€™s Hook:

When his hand goes to my breasts, my feet are envious. I slide my hands down his back, all along his spine, rutted with bone like mud ridges in a dry field, to the audacious swell below.

â€œAudacious swellâ€? Quite.

Then there was the American Gayle Formanâ€™s entry, from Leave Me:

They were in that room, Jason had slammed the door and devoured her with his mouth, his hands, which were everywhere. As if he were ravenous. And she remembered standing in front of him, her dress a puddle on the floor, and how sheâ€™d started to shake, her knees knocking together, like she was a virgin, like this was the first time.

Erri de Luca.
Claudio Onorati/EPA

But the gong went to the Italian poet and translator Erri De Luca for The Day Before Happiness (de Luca understandably wasnâ€™t present). â€œMy prick was a plank stuck to her stomach,â€ the Neapolitan was justly rebuked for writing:

With a swerve of her hips, she turned me over and I was on top of her â€¦ I was her plaything, which she moved around. Our sexes were ready, poised in expectation, barely touching each other: ballet dancers hovering en pointe.

Not everyone felt this deserved the award â€" as an American woman nearby remarked to me, this could clearly be read as satire, plain and simple. Perhaps, but satire doesnâ€™t necessarily get you home dry, especially when itâ€™s ambiguous. After all, the book, a coming of age story, is not particularly comic in the way that, for instance, the early sex-mad tomes of Philip Roth and Martin Amis were.

In fact, the awards were conceived not to discourage writing about sex, but to discourage writing about sex badly. The wording of the original mission statement in 1993 by Auberon Waugh, then editor of the Literary Review, is revealing: the bash was to â€œdraw attention to poorly written, perfunctory or redundant passages of sexual description in modern fictionâ€.

It would be helpful to have some guidance on what non-redundant, good sex writing looks like, since itâ€™s not entirely clear whether it can exist in a literary form at all. After all, the most sexually charged novels of the last 100 or so years use the rule of thumb that the act is unmentionable, boring, or best only suggested.

The novels of Dickens, Eliot and Trollope are full of sexual yearning, and their emotional and erotic pull are none the worse for the veiled references to kissing and love. Even in 20th century novels with subject matter devoted to romantic entanglements, the sexual act is not necessarily spelled out or even mentioned â€" Iris Murdoch doesnâ€™t go further than â€œmaking loveâ€ as an account of the nocturnal activities of her highly sexually charged couple Dora and Paul in The Bell (1958).

And while Margaret Drabbleâ€™s super-sexy characters Clara and Gabriel get pretty steamy in Jerusalem the Golden, nothing beyond the fact is spelled out. Itâ€™s a blessed relief which does nothing to diminish the profoundly saucy atmosphere of the book.

The awards are also a humorous reminder not just of the imaginative power but also of the literary value of discipline and restraint in matters of bonking. A recent book about prime minster Herbert Asquithâ€™s passionate attachment to Venetia Stanley tells of his thousands of letters to her, all passionately headed with variants of â€œmy own darlingâ€ and â€œdarlingestâ€.

Asquithâ€™s desperate fixation with Stanley pours out from every page, but had he indulged in anything more sexually explicit than the desire to â€œgo for a little drive, or will you come to Downing St & have a talkâ€, it would hardly have helped, and probably only hindered, the accumulated intensity of his fixation. Voluble lusters: take note.

Zoe Strimpel, PhD Candidate, University of Sussex

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Friday, December 9, 2016

Zika fears not changing South Floridians' sex habits

2:00 PM Bilal Muazin No comments

You delay having kids. You take a cold shower for months after you've traveled to Brazil. Or you use condoms, even if you're already pregnant.

Such is life with Zika, if you play by the rules.

Safe sex practices have been part of the official Zika prevention guidelines since early this year, when researchers confirmed the virus that can cause severe birth defects could be transmitted by sexual contact as well as mosquito bites.

The current federal Centers for Disease Control precautions advise anywhere from eight weeks up to six months of abstinence or condom use, depending on where you live, where you travel, and if you are pregnant or want to be. While expectant couples are the main target, the guidelines apply to anyone who doesn't want to get Zika.

So are people actually going to live like this?

Some public health experts are doubtful.

"I have talked with quite a few physicians, as well as sexually active patients. And I have not encountered anyone who has changed their sexual behavior. It's the hardest thing in the world is to get people to do," said Dr. Sonjia Kenya, an HIV researcher and sexologist at the University of Miami Miller School of Medicine.

What's the problem? Kenya thinks, in part, the consequences of Zika just aren't scary enough, unless you are a pregnant woman worried about becoming infected.

Most everyone else "has become pretty immune to the Zika media hype," said Kenya, author of "Sex in South Beach," who has been called a multicultural Dr. Ruth. "There is something about the sun and the beach and alcohol that invites people to be more relaxed."

The Sunshine State already is a hotbed for sexually transmitted disease -- and yes, the CDC considers Zika an STD, like gonorrhea and syphillis and HIV.

The CDC's annual HIV Surveillance Report, released this week , found the rate of new infections in South Florida's cities over the past year shot up more than three times the national average.

"If getting HIV doesn't scare you into changing your behavior, I don't think Zika will," Kenya said.

True, being bitten by a Zika-infected mosquito remains by far the most common way humans get the virus. As of Dec. 7, the CDC has confirmed 38 sexually transmitted Zika cases out of 4,575 in the U.S.

That's why the CDC continues to tell people the best prevention practice is to slather on bug spray containing DEET -- even if they are clubbing on South Beach or walking the dog. CDC officials say the products are safe for pregnant women and should be used by those expecting.

Since Aug. 1, there have been three sections of Miami-Dade County that at some point were classified as active transmission zones, placing them under the strict CDC "red" advisory that suggested pregnant women not travel there. The zones included the Wynwood area near downtown Miami, portions of South and North Miami Beach, and Little River.

People who did go there, or were residents, were advised to abstain from sex or "consistently" use condoms if they were pregnant, considering pregnancy or did not want to pass the virus. Women were told to follow these guidelines for eight weeks -- but men needed to do so for six months, as researchers believe Zika can live in seminal fluid for at least that long.

On Friday, Gov. Rick Scott declared the last of those areas, a 1.5-square mile tract in South Miami Beach, free of active transmission, lifting the CDC's no-travel recommendation for pregnant women. But the four former transmission zones, along with all of Miami-Dade County, remain under a "yellow" CDC advisory that includes condom use, abstinence and other precautions for expectant couples or people considering conceiving.

Sexual precautions also are suggested for anyone who has traveled to Zika outbreak countries such as portions of Mexico and Brazil, all of Puerto Rico, and many other countries. For a full list of travel advisories, go to: cdc.gov/travel or call 800-232-4636.

The CDC has drafted guidance for physicians and public health workers regarding Zika and sexual transmission. Officials with the Florida Department of Health said they discuss Zika sex guidelines with their patients and put condoms in the Zika prevention kits distributed to pregnant women.

The AIDS Healthcare Foundation (AHF), a global patient care and education organization, has three three large billboard advertisements -- including one with a giant three-dimensional mosquito -- in Miami-Dade County promoting condom use for Zika prevention.

Michael Kahane, AHF's southern bureau chief, said the organization has been distributing condoms along with Zika fact sheets in South Florida and Jamaica, as well as in Puerto Rico, where public health officials predict one in four residents may become Zika postive.

In the Caribbean countries, "people assume everyone already has it or is going to get it. So getting infected is no big deal unless you're pregnant," Kahane said.

While Kahane said that while there has been public health education about Zika, "a lot of people in the U.S. have told me they had no idea it could be sexually transmitted," Kahane said. "I think the general public just isn't aware."

A stroll though Fort Lauderdale's Himmarshee Village entertainment district on an early December night, where diners and drinkers filled outdoor tables, suggested Kahane might be right.

"SIX MONTHS?" cried Adrienne Airhart, 32, when asked how long she thought Zika might live in semen. Airhart, a Los Angeles visitor who had just finished a guided bike trip of the area's bars with pals, had guessed 22 months.

"That's really terrifying," said Airhart, who used to live in Coral Springs. "I am totally not going to Miami."

Her also surprised boyfriend, Aristotle Georgeson, 28, said he didn't know having sex could spread Zika. "So I would definitely let my partner know if I felt sick," he said.

But did he know that there was only a 20 percent chance he would even know he had a Zika infection? That's a problem, he agreed. "And it's not like I can look at a mosquito and know it had Zika," he said.

Dr. Aaron Elkin, a Hollywood obstetrician-gynecologist and past president of the Broward County Medical Association, said the majority of his patients "absolutely" are changing their health and sexual practices due to Zika.

"We are seeing more and more people living in our area afraid of becoming pregnant," said Elkin, who has been involved with federal Zika policy as a John McCain Fellow with the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. "A lot of them are asking me, 'What should I do?' They are very receptive when we talk about steps they can take."

Elkin now does Zika counseling during every prenatal visit, as recommended by the CDC, and patients can pick up free condoms at the office's front desk. His practice is one of the few that, at this point, can run and process Zika tests, cutting wait times for results. So far, Elkin has screened over 200 patients for the virus and predicts, in the future, Zika testing will become a prenatal care standard, as it has for HIV.

Some couples are opting to hold off conception until a Zika vaccine is available, Elkin said, which could be within two years. If the biological clock is ticking, others are willing to move out of the area until their baby arrives.

The majority of South Floridians determined to conceive, however, stay here and wrestle with Zika.

"You can't stop mosquitoes, you can't stop travel and you can't stop sex," Elkin said. "We need to think about how we deal with patients who live here. We can't just say nobody who lives in Miami-Dade can get pregnant until there's a vaccine."

The number of in-vitro fertilizations performed at the Fertility & IVF Center of Miami has been slightly lower this year over last, said medical director Dr. Michael Jacobs, although he is not sure that is due to Zika. A few couples, before Miami-Dade County came under the CDC advisory, earlier this year froze sperm because the male partner was traveling repeatedly to Zika hot zone countries, Jacobs said.

He suspects that some people, including pregnant couples, aren't following all of the CDC Zika prevention recommendations, from applying bug repellent to using condoms. Jacobs said when Miami Beach still had active transmission zones, he spotted a very pregnant woman picnicking outdoors.

"It's all over the news, you are about to give birth, and you are standing next to water with a bunch of mosquitoes in it. I don't understand it," Jacobs said.

dlade@sunsentinel.com and 954-356-4295

SEX AND ZIKA

The federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention suggest expectant couples or those considering conceiving in the near future take these sexual precautions. Pregnant women are those most at risk, as the Zika virus can cause severe fetal abnormalities, but anyone can get Zika through sex. Common Zika symptoms include: fever, rash, joint pain and red eyes.

Women who live in Miami-Dade County or frequently travel there should wait eight weeks before trying to become pregnant. They should abstain from sex or consistently use condoms during this time.

Men who live in Miami-Dade County or frequently travel there should wait six months before trying to get their partner pregnant. They should abstain from sex or consistently use condoms during this time.

Expectant couples where one or both partners either live or have traveled to Miami-Dade County should consistently use condoms, or abstain from sex, until after delivery.

The above guidelines also apply to couples in which one partner has traveled to a country with active Zika transmision.

For more information on Zika prevention: cdc.gov or 800-232-4636âˆš.

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Uber to riders: No sex, and leave your guns at home

12:30 PM Bilal Muazin No comments

By Patrick May,Â The Mercury News

The inside of an Uber vehicle, that â€third placeâ€ that so many of us often find ourselves these days, should also be a safe place, a clean place, a happy place.

Or so says Uber, which this weekÂ issued a set of â€œUber Community Guidelinesâ€ Â to keep both riders and drivers on their best behavior.

As the San Francisco-based ride-sharing giant puts it in its press release, â€œWe want Uber to be enjoyable and safe for everyone. These ground rules are designed to ensure that riders and drivers have a five star ride when using Uber.â€

Letâ€™s have a look, shall we?

For starters, Uber wants us all to know that sex during a ride is a big no-no. Even flirting is prohibited between the rider and their driver or fellow passengers. (So, yes, group sex is out.) And donâ€™t even think about calling your driver after the ride on their personal cell number and trying to set up a date. In its guidelines, Uber stresses that it has a â€no sex ruleâ€ and, just to make sure all you sex-in-public aficionados get the memo, it repeats â€œno sexâ€ over and over like some Victorian Age mantra.

And Â while youâ€™re sitting in the back seat not having sex with anyone else in the car, you should also not vomit.

To be specific, Uberâ€™s guidelines ban â€œvomiting due to excessive alcohol consumption,â€ so you could read that to mean that a flu-induced mishap wouldnâ€™t necessarily get you banned forever from an Uber vehicle. But do try and avoid it anyway.

â€œMost riders show drivers the respect they deserve,â€ the company said. â€œBut some donâ€™t â€" whether itâ€™s leaving trash in the car, throwing up in the back seat after too much alcohol or asking a driver to break the speed limit so they can get to their appointment on time. This kind of poor behavior is not OK.â€

In the interest of time, weâ€™ve condensed for you some of the other things Uber would like you not to do while in their care:

â€¢ Donâ€™t touch other passengers.

â€¢ Donâ€™t touch the driver.

â€¢ Donâ€™t keep the driver waiting.

â€¢ Donâ€™t swear.

â€¢ Donâ€™t slam the car door.

â€¢ Donâ€™t spill your Starbucks Grande, Iced, Sugar-Free, Vanilla Latte with Soy Milk and then not clean it up.

â€¢ Donâ€™t look at people suspiciously if theyâ€™re not like you.

â€¢ Donâ€™t comment on other ridersâ€™ appearances.

â€¢ Donâ€™t ask your fellow rider if he/she is single.

â€¢ Donâ€™t raise your voice.

â€¢ And last but not least, donâ€™t bring your firearm with you on an Uber ride.

Outside of that, have a nice ride.

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Thursday, December 8, 2016

Hundreds of police in England and Wales accused of sexual abuse | UK news

7:01 AM Bilal Muazin No comments

Hundreds of police officers are being accused of sexually abusing victims and suspects in what a senior police watchdog has called â€œthe most serious corruption issue facing the serviceâ€.

Forces across England and Wales received 436 allegations of abuse of power for sexual gain against 306 police officers, 20 police community support officers and eight staff in the two years to March but inspectors believe the problem is even more prevalent than the numbers suggest.

Despite the large numbers, there is evidence that only 40 officers or staff have been dismissed for abusing authority for sexual gain in a similar period.

Vulnerable individuals, including domestic abuse victims, alcohol and drug addicts, sex workers and arrested suspects were among those targeted by officers and staff, Her Majestyâ€™s Inspectorate of Constabulary (HMIC) said.

Victim groups have said the findings are â€œdeeply concerningâ€ and involved some of the most vulnerable people in society.

Mike Cunningham, inspector of constabulary and former chief constable of Staffordshire police, said: â€œThis is the most serious corruption issue facing the service. What can be worse than a guardian abusing the trust and confidence of an abused person? There can be no greater violation of public trust.â€

â€œIt is probably more likely the problem is more serious than the numbers reported back to us,â€ he added.

â€œIn many cases the victims are vulnerable people. They are victims of domestic abuse, theyâ€™re victims who might have been arrested and they have drug or alcohol dependency. It is an exploitation of power where the guardian becomes the abuser.â€

One of the most high-profile cases of police officers abusing their power in recent history was that of Stephen Mitchell, who was jailed for life in 2011 for raping and sexually assaulting vulnerable women he had arrested.

Mitchell, who was a constable with Northumbria police, abused heroin addicts, shoplifters and a disabled teenager by offering them help while in custody, then demanding sexual favours afterwards.

Earlier this year, DS Robert Dawson, a Metropolitan police officer who had sex with a vulnerable alleged rape victim, was formally dismissed from the force. A tribunal heard that in 2010, while investigating an allegation of serious sexual assault, Dawson engaged in an inappropriate sexual relationship with the victim.

PC Simon Salway, who had sex with vulnerable witnesses and victims of crime, and fathered a child with one of the women he exploited, was found guilty of six charges of misconduct in a public office at Luton crown court last year.

HMIC found that more than a third (39%) of the allegations of abuse of authority for sexual gain involved victims of domestic abuse. As part of its research the inspectorate carried out an online survey of domestic abuse practitioners between July and August. Sixty-eight practitioners (16%) of the 414 who took part said victims of domestic abuse had disclosed that an officer or member of police staff had abused their authority to exploit them or develop an inappropriate relationship with them.

The chief executive of the domestic violence charity Refuge, Sandra Horley, said: â€œWidespread reports of police officers exploiting women for sexual gain â€¦ are horrific â€" but unsurprising.

â€œRefuge is glad HMICâ€™s report has shone a light on this issue, following a consultation with domestic violence practitioners including our frontline staff. The police are meant to protect the public from harm; how can women be expected to report their abuse, if they fear the police will abuse them all over again? Women have the right to safety and protection.

â€œRefuge commends the work HMIC has already done in improving the police response to domestic violence; we hope this report will mean an end to what is an appalling abuse of power.â€

Mark Castle, chief executive of the independent charity Victim Support, said: â€œThese allegations are deeply concerning. The victims involved are some of the most vulnerable people in our society, who have been exploited by the people they should be able to trust the most, the police.

â€œIn order to maintain public confidence in the police itâ€™s critical that forces recognise this behaviour as the serious corruption that it is and report all cases to the IPCC to ensure that they are thoroughly and robustly investigated.â€

The HMIC findings formed part of a broader inspection of police legitimacy, which concluded victimsâ€™ satisfaction with the way they were treated by police remained high. The investigation was ordered by the then home secretary, Theresa May.

But the inspectorate said forces still needed to become more proactive in rooting out officers and staff abusing power for sexual gain. This could involve profiling officers to single out those who might be likely to commit such abuse.

Cunningham said one of the reasons the inspectorate believed the figures belied a greater problem was that forces in England and Wales did not have a consistent and coherent approach to tackling the problem.

Not all forces class the abuse of authority for sexual gain as a serious corruption issue, which HMIC says they should. This would mean any allegation would be automatically referred to the Independent Police Complaints Commission (IPCC) for investigation.

HMIC was only able to find 40 cases on the national disapproved register in which officers or staff were dismissed for abusing power for sexual gain during the period in which more than 400 allegations were received.

â€œWhatâ€™s less clear is whatâ€™s happening with those allegations, how those allegations are being pursued, how they translate into gross misconduct hearings and sackings,â€ Cunningham said.

HMIC said the problem remained despite recommendations in a 2012 IPCC report on the issue, which appear to have not been acted on.

In her speech to the Police Federation conference earlier this year, May said: â€œWe know of officers who develop inappropriate relationships with victims of domestic abuse. They have ignored their professional duty and their moral responsibility, and instead abused their position of power to exploit victims. We do not know the true scale of this, but everyone in this room will know it goes on far more than we might care to admit.â€

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